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Museum Entry Tickets
Here's a curious email I just received:

Hallo! My name is Wojciech Krajewski. I come from Poland. I'm collecting museum entry tickets. I would be very happy if I have got in my collection ticket from Yours. I hope that my favour won't be a problem for You and that you won't leave it without answer. I give my regards to you and thank you very much.

I'd really like to help this guy out. But what should I send him?
Categories: Miscellaneous
Posted by Alex on Fri Aug 12, 2005
Comments (45)
More from the Hoax Museum Archives:
I say give him a ticket to the XXX Super Bowl
Posted by Yaanu  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:10 PM
Send an empty envelope and inform him it's an 'air ticket'.
Posted by aw  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:21 PM
I live in the Butcher's Hill area of Baltimore, Md. According to our neighborhood website webmaster, he gets queries from students wanting to know about butchering meat.

Maybe you could comment to him here; then he could print it for his keepsake.
Posted by Tracey  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:33 PM
In the true spirit of the site, go to an office supply store and get some printer card stock, then print a fake ticket. With a big "ADMIT ONE" in the middle and thumbnail pictures around it. And a serial number on one end. And, just for effect, tear off one edge, to make it look like a used ticket.
Posted by WileECoyote  in  NYC  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:41 PM
lol, seems like a nice enough guy though.

maybe you could mock one up in photoshop and e-mail it to him?

i could make some for you if you wanted.
Posted by Chuck  in  Rhode Island  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:42 PM
Alex.....Maybe you should get some cheap little tickets printed up...I'd like to have one....
Posted by X  in  McKinney, TX  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:44 PM
Alex: In many of my old DC comic books, there was a free admission ticket to the now-demolished Palisades Amusement Park...it was endorsed by Superman, and also allowed access to such great rides as the Crazy Crystals, which was a mirrored maze...I'll e-mail you one, if I can get my scanner working again...no way I'm sending you the real thing...I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  01:22 PM
Aaagh, two weeks ago we threw out a bunch of blank tickets at work! They had sat in the shop for over a year and we figured no one would ever use them.

I work for a letterpress printing shop (old presses which usually today are only used for 'crash numbering' tickets; but we print fancy wedding invitations on them)

Museum of Hoaxes tickets would be great.
Posted by Katey  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  02:06 PM
Send him a fake ticket.
Posted by Beasjt  in  Earth  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  02:52 PM
Didn't you decide on a "building" for the Museum of Hoaxes a few months ago? I suggest printing a nice ticket with the building on it and have the price of admission 1 waffle.
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  02:53 PM
One waffle. I like that. smile
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  03:09 PM
just make sure the waffle has the face of Jesus or the Virgin Mary on it. And syrup. A little butter, too... hell, send Me the waffle. Now I'm hungry
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  03:19 PM
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:29 PM
Hmm, I hate to be the killjoy here, but why not just tell him that the Museum Of Hoaxes is a website and the only ticket he needs is the url: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/ ?
(Or just tell him that you use jackalopes for tickets?) wink
Posted by Captain DaFt  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:46 PM
send him NOTHING, for the ticket.
Posted by Tom  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:52 PM
Splarka, the ticket is brilliant. I think I'll get some made up like that and use them as business cards.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  06:56 PM
wow it really is beautiful
Posted by RAMONESxMANIA  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  07:11 PM
send him a laugh track.
Posted by #1 Fan  in  neck of the north  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  07:15 PM
I think he meant I Waffle (pronoun, not number), not one waffle.
Posted by #1 Fan  in  neck of the north  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  07:17 PM
Heh, glad you like it, and feel free to use it as you wish!... but a tiny gif doesn't lend itself well to printing (sadly). That was the largest image I could find of an "Admit One" generic ticket (with all of 5 minutes on GIS)

What you might do though is have some professionally printed up: http://www.admitoneproducts.com/Roll+Tickets/Custom+Online+Roll+Tickets
That'd be nifty, you could include one in copies of future books you publish, and sell them online (with a t-shirt or something).
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  08:21 PM
#1 Quoth unto ye:

"I think he meant I Waffle (pronoun, not number), not one waffle."

Hmm, maybe he meant "I, Waffle" (see Asimov). Of course, Alan Parsons would get in on that:



Or, maybe he meant a future Mac peripheral.. the iWAFFLE. A firewire waffle iron?
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  08:38 PM
Like the "I, Waffle", response, but it was a flippant, 'admission - one waffle'. Why don't you send him a picture of the building you chose, as F.S. said, and mail him a frozen waffle? Tell him it's the price of admission if he gets there. Of course, he'd have to pay his own air fare, etc. Then send him the address to your house.
Posted by stork in the absence of counting  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:44 PM
That way, if you see a really confused guy standing next to a taxi outside your house at 2AM in about 2 months, you'll know who it is.
Posted by stork in the absence of diplomacy  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:52 PM
Hmmm,

I thought the Museum of Hoaxes only used retinal scanners now.
Posted by Chris Carlisle  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  11:26 PM
what should I say? at least thanks for not telling
Posted by Stan  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  03:00 AM
Tell him the museum itself is a hoax. Then eat a waffle.
Posted by Silentz  in  general  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  04:26 AM
send him a tick... or a tic, facial, nervous or otherwise... just don't send him a facial tick...that would be gross...or a nervous facial tick...that's even grosser...I'm sorry, I need a waffle...a syrupy, nervous, facial waffle...that's the ticket
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  10:50 AM
To change the subject to the request itself:

If you collect tickets to museums, wouldn't the point be to collect tickets to museums that you've actually been to? It's no fun collecting these if you haven't seen it! Like people who collect golf balls, they only collect them for courses that they've actually played. Then again, I guess he has "been" to the Museum of Hoaxes, so perhaps my point is moot.
Posted by Chris B  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  12:34 PM
my point is moot, too, but I've been exercising, so maybe it'll be less mooty and more pointy
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  01:14 PM
I have a boring hobby sorta related to this thread...when I go see a film at a theater, actually, I should say THE theater, because there's only one movie theater in my entire county of 40,000 residents, not that they all go at once, which would suck cuz then I couldn't put my feet up or fart during the film, I save my ticket stub in my wallet until the film comes out on video, and then insert the ticket stub into the video box with the film if I buy it... I said it was boring, but I guess that's a mooty point...sorry
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  01:22 PM
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