A collection of Irish personal ads, supposedly culled from the Dublin News, is doing the email rounds. They're in the genre of Brutally Honest Personal Ads (I've reported on examples of this genre before). In this case, I'm guessing that the ads, if they really did appear in the Dublin News, were meant to be tongue-in-cheek (though I haven't seen the paper, so I can't really tell). But whatever the case may be, they're definitely quite funny. Here they are:

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict
interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes,
Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick
Street at three o'clock in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime
fiancee, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a
thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed
and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady
for bail purposes, maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp
cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21
year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for
wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic
walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight
under the flinty light of a pale moon.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-
minded twin sister.
(via Sore Eyes)