The Museum of Hoaxes
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Script of Casablanca rejected, 1982
Mule elected G.O.P. committeeman, 1938
The Lovely Feejee Mermaid, 1842
The Olympic Underwear Relay, 1956
Female thieves hide money in their bras, 1950
The Case of the Vanishing Belly Button, 1964
The Diaphote, a television hoax, 1880
Pierre Brassau, Monkey Artist, 1964
The Great Wall of China Hoax, 1899
Fake Photos of Very Large Animals
Vampire Sites
Here's a couple of vampire-themed websites sent in by visitors. First we have the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. According to the blurb on the site, "From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation's vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead. This site is a tribute to the men and women who served in the FVZA, especially the over 4000 Agents who lost their lives fighting to keep our country safe." And next we have The Temple of the Vampire. If you want to live forever, then all you have to do is join the temple. The catch is that in order to join you have to buy their book, The Vampire Bible. That's a good sales gimmick. I should try something like that for my book, such as if you want to achieve a state of absolute enlightenment, then you have to buy my book.
Categories: Paranormal
Posted by The Curator on Wed Oct 29, 2003
Comments (2642)
undead is not of the phyical realm, there for they are beyond the need for money. as told in there vampire bible. there nothing but energy drinkers. there more of the wrath then vampire. as told buy the human liers. i'm human this i know and i reject it, but still live it. invest your time in the study of dark matter. oh thats to ahead of your time. you want to fly dark matter is the key to flight. not being a vampire, duh!!! just like george carlin said, gods are all powerful and all knowing, yet some how they just can't handle money. its bullshit, its a scam, its a lie, enjoy rotting in the ground. its better to face ones desteny then to cower form it, your human and no modifacation of your body will change that, down to your dna you are human, get over it and end this pointless converation.
Posted by mike  in  hell  on  Fri Jan 25, 2008  at  12:24 AM
hey Satan, i think u were talking to me not bob, i rarely go by my real name cuz its the internet and u nvr know, and i live in massachusetts, so unless u mean have i met Satan, no i havent met u, but i probably will meet Satan, im sure him and i will be great buddies
Posted by mike  in  those little corners of your dreams  on  Mon Jan 28, 2008  at  08:13 PM
Satan is the best buddy you could ever have. Better than any so-called vampire god aka hallucination.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Mon Jan 28, 2008  at  09:29 PM
Perhaps imaginary friend is a better term for undead god. LOL!
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Mon Jan 28, 2008  at  09:31 PM
Come on!!!!! Where is Nemo????? I want you to tell us you aren't really ripping off Church of Satan Members with all of your bullshit!!! Tell us it isn't true!!! Tell us you are not using your COS affiliation and your buddies' credibility to dupe Church of Satan Members into joining your organization and believing in all of your un-Satanic lies!!!!! Tell us how much you really care!!! Tell us, damn it!!!!! Set the record straight, Nemo!!!!!

Hello????? Earth to Nemo. Come in, Nemo.

Forever,
Satan
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Thu Feb 07, 2008  at  09:15 PM
So this may be dumb to post on the net but i reallllllllly would not mind becoming a vampire, it may sound silly to some people like the rantings of a child but i have read, and reread many articals, books, etc. regarding the subject and though i have never met a vampire (that i am aware of) i find that if people can believe in god, (which i do not i am agnostic) then i can believe in supernatrual beings. i don't know how anyone could be afraid of vampires, to think they need us to survive is almost a comfort, though i'm sure if confronted with a hungery (or thirsty if you look at it that way) Vampire i would be singing a different song...crap i don't know what i think any longer...
Posted by Sarah  in  home  on  Mon Feb 18, 2008  at  09:24 PM
Sarah, their need for you, real or imagined, makes them weak and pathetic. They are not much different than a welfare bum who is leeching off the system. Parasites. I've met several so-called real vampires, and they were all either deluded fools or con-artists. Many believe they are part of some elite species. Obviously, they are lacking in several critical areas. They are not above humanity. They are beneath us.
Posted by Blade  on  Thu Feb 21, 2008  at  12:25 PM
yes Blade, i guess YOU could think that their need makes them weak. but im afraid that such an outlook on those diffrent from ourselfs is an epiedmic that has plaged mankind since the begining of time. and comman sense tells us that no one is going to out themselves as a vampire if they really are one. i really am sorry to disagree with you!! but to tell the truth i don't think that vampires are real. just a myith to explain the unknown.
Posted by Sarah  in  home  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  06:02 PM
Funny thing.. we DO agree after all. In the end, there are no vampires. There are only people who think they are vampires. They, however, are very real, as fake as their worlds may be. Congratulations though, you have realized what I hoped you would!
Posted by Blade  on  Wed Feb 27, 2008  at  11:35 PM
Yeah. I also joined the TOV. It was really worth it. Here's why.

That ring kicks so much ass on an aesthetic level, and it serves as a wonderful reminder of how much the carnival has not only stayed alive, full and well to this day, but how much it has also spread out in to new avenues of "sucka-tree" That means, the hunt for suckers.

Well, the TOV, not sorry to say, is any different than Falwell slapping someone with a 10 pound book as some healing remedy for gout, and to boot, the CoS has become no better than the ToV or Falwell again.

Listen to them both for your own sake, then call me a liar. Because I'll tell you what, I am a big fat fucking liar, and I love it. Why? Because I'm better at it than any of those carny bastards, and I've even told on my self, and I still won't ever get caught in a lie. lol.

Falwell, Gilmore, Nemo, all sound or write exactly the same.

How is that you wonder, with Falwell's aggression aside, his style just happens to match that of Nemo and Gilmore. Why? Because after Anton bit it, as we all will, they became more aggressive themselves. They became what they were afraid of, and now that their reason for not being afraid is fucking dead, they have no where else to turn, except backward, which is exactly where I said they would be years ago.

Anton was the only CoS member, and remains to be the last. As for Satanists, well, just ask anyone!

I'm not even that good. Yeah sure, he has "been debunked". But never while he was alive. And that is the key. Make sure all of the monkeys can ONLY talk behind your back, it is you pulling the trigger for them even after death. Amusing no?

Reinventing the wheel, and in the shittiest lazy fucking ways imaginable.

Why then are they able to sucker so many in?

That movie V for Vendetta. "If you're looking for the guilty, you need only look in a mirror."

If that makes no sense, I'll assume you are potential ToV and CoS material, because the "Not like Most" are becoming just like them all, and so it is real easy to find like minds, now in-it?

Nemo has a hard time scabbing because he's a portly little wafer with delusions of being Barnibus Collins with his nifty little walking stick, which if unnecessary is only there as a kick stand to keep his fat arse from becoming beached. He's not immortal, any more than Cpt. Crunch is Coronal Akula's Daddy.

But at least when he reads this, he can laugh me off and say to himself, in his computer ROOM, "insert typical Nemo jargon here and there through out....the jokes on you pal, because I'm a member of the CoS. I knew Anton, I have a cane, and I know how to wobble with it. So there pion!"

Am I bitter with ToV? No. I got what I wanted out of them. Nifty and semi-gracious craftsmanship on a silver ring.

CoS? I love the stupid bastards. Why? Well simply put, if it weren't for them, no one else would have been kept in business all these years (Since 1966)
Posted by Nemo literally means NOTHING  in  Earth  on  Sun Mar 02, 2008  at  05:38 PM
The Temple of the Vampire is the biggest joke on the internet. This Church of Satan should be embarrassed to even be affiliated with them. I have heard that the two organizations share many members and some even hold titles in the hierarchy. Funny thing to deny the existence of god as a satanist one minute and then go running back to the TOV and proclaim to worship their vampire gods. Their silly "bow down before me" creed makes me want to go take a dump on someone's head. Unfortunately these freaks are real people running around, though luckily most appear to be harmlessly confined to the internet, where their bubble of delusion can remain intact. At least they aren't knocking on peoples' doors, YET.

KNOCK, KNOCK: 'Scuse me sir, have you been saved by the undead yet? All you gotta do is light some candles and call them into your home. PS, did you know that vampires are reeeeeeal? LOL
Posted by Blade  on  Sun Mar 02, 2008  at  09:20 PM
this has been the most interesting thing i've ever read shit its better than regular tv
some say ToV are cons others say they are ligit
i come to this site every 3 day just 2 see if any1 posted sumthing new,it really is a treat.
please people keep posting ur opinions its making me laugh

PS
ToV are vampiresthey they keep on sucking u of ur money which today is kinda like ur life force and money can keep u alive for a really long time.so if u keep on paying ToV and get to the top ull also end up get that money and u 2 will live longer
Posted by stumbler  in  world  on  Mon Mar 03, 2008  at  12:06 PM
You can pay the TOV all you want. You can even get to the top. You can become an adept and attest to all their bullshit and swear an oath to never speak against them. But you'll never become a real vampire and you'll certainly never get near the money. Nemo gets all the money. There aren't any real vampires. That's how the TOV works.

Everyone pays, and Nemo gets paid. Ironically, everything they teach you can find on your own. You pay a lot and have every facet of your life controlled and get next to nothing in return.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Mon Mar 03, 2008  at  08:45 PM
Immortality? Prove it!

Part 1 of 2:

The Temple claims that one can be IMMORTAL yet one only remains alive by taking Lifeforce. From what they believe, if you stop taking Lifeforce then you die and you are; therefore, NOT immortal so, basically, there are no true immortal vampires. Immortal means living "forever" and they are dependent on taking Lifeforce to "stay alive" so they are NOT, truly, immortal by definition. Furthermore, even the vampire of fiction is not immortal if he can be die by sunlight or by lack of blood.

So, if you think this through, they are selling the Temple by playing on man
Posted by Anonymous  in  NA  on  Tue Mar 04, 2008  at  01:43 AM
I'm a Vampire. Seriously. And, I am immortal.

Here is how, and here is the ONLY WAY!!

Have a child, and make sure he is better than you and damn near all others. OR, make a name for yourself that will be on the lips of millions after you're dead.

That is it on immortality.

As for being a Vampire, it is simple. USE A WHEEL CHAIR; ONLY IF YOU DO NOT NEED ONE!
Posted by Nemo literally means NOTHING  in  Earth  on  Tue Mar 04, 2008  at  02:33 PM
What's funny about these TOV vampires is this: They take a myth that's as old as mankind itself, the vampire, and then they turn it into something else. According to their terms, "real vampires" don't even drink human blood. In fact, it's against their very rules. Yet they claim to be the ONLY REAL VAMPIRES IN EXISTENCE. According to the definition of vampire in both the dictionary and folklore, vampires drink human blood. They are BLOOD DRINKERS, Cannibals, if you will. These TOV folk are simply just role players who can't even step up to the role. Do you know why? It's like I said before and I'll say it again: THERE ARE NO REAL VAMPIRES, JUST CRAZY PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE VAMPIRES. LOL!!!
Posted by Blade  on  Tue Mar 04, 2008  at  11:29 PM
I heard they were breaking up due to friction within the group. Is it really true? Imagine paying all that money and then getting the door slammed in your face? I'd be pissed.
Posted by Jim  on  Wed Mar 05, 2008  at  12:00 PM
They also claim that ALL humans are death adorers and hate life.

If this is true then why are there doctors, surgeons, nurses, hospitals, firehouses, police stations, military and many other organizations there for the self-preservation of mankind?

It seems like if everyone hated life then none of these things would exist and everyone would just go ahead and jump off a cliff.

Only a fool would be a slave to this hypnotic and subliminal suggestion.

There is only one Life and it is here and now.

So why be afraid to live or die?

Why worry about afterlives that may or may not exist?

Only NOW is real...
Posted by Anonymous  in  NA  on  Thu Mar 06, 2008  at  02:14 AM
For the record, Anton LaVey did not dupe anyone with his religion/philosophy.

If one takes time to read the CoS literature and review the website you will see that no one is duping anyone.

Once more, the CoS is not selling any promises unlike all other religions.

Anton LaVey did not sell any promises like wealth, immortality, and power unlike Nemo and his ToV.

Also, The Satanic Bible tells you UP FRONT that magic ritual is pure fantasy.

I also don't see anything wrong with a
Posted by Temple of Doom  on  Thu Mar 06, 2008  at  08:22 PM
To me, Temple members are another Temple of Set waiting to break away from the CoS, as it should, and I think the ToV is creating a schism in the CoS.

I am going to laugh when ToV members will have to decide between their CoS and ToV membership when the CoS gets sick of the ToV.

Also, after being on the ToV messageboard, Nemo does make his organization sound SUPERIOR to the ToV and plays down the CoS as just contrary jovial and philosophical pranksters. He even talks that the CoS doesn
Posted by Temple of Doom (ToS Wanna-be)  on  Thu Mar 06, 2008  at  08:24 PM
They aren't just making money off it. Getting a cryonics contract is a requirement for getting accepted into the TOV priesthood. They think that getting your corpse frozen is the same as living forever. Is that twisted or what? Even though no one has ever been successfully brought back from the dead, they push Cryonics memberships hardcore.

They even have a thread called "THE ROLL CALL OF TEMPLE IMMORTALS" on their message board that lists every member who has signed up.. unless of course, they spoke against Nemo and got banned.

I wonder if Nemo gets a commission from the Cryonics Institute for every head he gets to sign up from his organization. I'll bet my soul that he does.

Again.. Nemo??? What are your thoughts??? Come on.. I know you're reading this stuff. Talk to me. You're not at a loss for words Nemo, are you? You always have SOMETHING to say. I refuse to believe the TOV isn't reading this blog. It comes up in Google right under their own website.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Thu Mar 06, 2008  at  10:10 PM
SATAN, all of your comments and claims are true and I agree with you. I know you are not a liar.

BUT--don't forget that they tell their members that those who are not members and who talk about the Temple are LIARS.

Trying to argue with them or expose them is like dealing with christians. It is best to just let it go.

Maybe justice will be served someday and they will get what they deserve?

I think the best thing for those who have learned about the Temple the hard way is to just to let it all go and take your focus off of the injustice, learn from your experience, and get on with your lives.

Someday, something will eventually happen that will drive a stake through the heart of this group-mentality cult.

I think it will be funny when the door gets slammed in his face.

*slam*
Posted by Anonymous  in  NA  on  Fri Mar 07, 2008  at  07:44 PM
Amen.. I mean.. praise the Devil for that reply, Anonymous. I could really care less about them. I'm just being bad again. Sometimes I just can't help it.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Fri Mar 07, 2008  at  10:46 PM
PS.. For the record, I was never actually a member of TOV. I knew someone who was though, and she gave me the complete "inside view" of the place. Luckily, she got out before they could control her mind completely. Thank the Devil.. aka ME.. for that. LOL!
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Tue Mar 11, 2008  at  12:09 AM
I love vampyres...the idea thta they are real is so cool..and i live off it raspberry just kidding but i do like books involving them a lot
Posted by Sarah  in  Earth  on  Wed Mar 12, 2008  at  11:21 PM
Oh yeah, even though I never joined as a member, I did buy the book. I forgot that I mentioned that previously.

Hey Sarah, who do you think the coolest vampire is??? I think Lestat from Anne Rice's books is the best. He's my favorite all-time vampire. If it were possible to be a real vampire, I'd want to be Lestat.

If you ever get the chance, check out Fred Saberhagen's book called "The Dracula Tape." It's way cool because it tells the story from Dracula's point of view. I haven't read it in years, but I remember it was a good, interesting read.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  on  Thu Mar 13, 2008  at  07:11 PM
i like Edward form Stephanie Meyers books...and Stephan from vampire diaries...but idk just all of the books i've read about Vampires peak my interest!
Posted by Sarah  on  Sun Mar 23, 2008  at  09:35 PM
It is interesting to see the number of people that are bugged by the fact that the TOV charge money.
First it is only $10 a month. Second if you do it for a year, it is only a $100.00
Most of you spend more than $10 a month on fast food.
For your money you get: Information.
Is it any good?
Who knows?
But to rip on them because they charge money for information is silly.
Can you learn all about what they talk about without spending any money?
No doubt.
Some would do it on theirown.
I have read words to the effect that
Posted by Helio  in  Miami  on  Thu Apr 03, 2008  at  07:52 AM
you don't just randomly wake up one day and say "Hey, I'm a vampire." You are either born with it or you are not. It is more like a disease. It isnt like movies where you go out and kill things for gallons of blood. But it can have very real consiquences if you actually have to disease. Do not make fun of things of which you have no real knowlage of. Go and find a website that will tell you about it....not a roleplaying website...a real information site. Sanguinarius.org should help and then decide what you believe.
Posted by Vamp  in  Indianapolis  on  Thu Apr 03, 2008  at  11:00 PM
I do agree though that buying a book from a group or "cult" I should say isn't a good idea because it might not relate to you at all. Go online and find what you need. Looking online wont cost you anything and you wont be out 20$ if you dont find what your looking for
Posted by Vamp  in  Indianapolis  on  Thu Apr 03, 2008  at  11:04 PM
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