The Museum of Hoaxes
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war of the worlds
The night Martians invaded New Jersey, 1938
'Solar Armor' freezes man in Nevada Desert, 1874
Cursed by Allah
The most sacred relic: the Holy Foreskin, circa 800 AD
Lord Gordon-Gordon, robber of the robber barons, 1871
The disumbrationist art hoax, 1924
Monkeys pick cotton, a 19th-century urban legend
Brief History of Triple-Decker Buses
The Crown Prince Regent of Thulia, 1954
A black lion: real or fake?
Vampire Sites
Here's a couple of vampire-themed websites sent in by visitors. First we have the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. According to the blurb on the site, "From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation's vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead. This site is a tribute to the men and women who served in the FVZA, especially the over 4000 Agents who lost their lives fighting to keep our country safe." And next we have The Temple of the Vampire. If you want to live forever, then all you have to do is join the temple. The catch is that in order to join you have to buy their book, The Vampire Bible. That's a good sales gimmick. I should try something like that for my book, such as if you want to achieve a state of absolute enlightenment, then you have to buy my book.
Categories: Paranormal
Posted by The Curator on Wed Oct 29, 2003
Comments (2642)
I read all the bibles. I think that the idea that a physical anchor is required for the "astral body" to exist is far fetched at best and purely absurd at worst.
No one has come back from death to tell us anything.
I don't know of any NDE had by anyone clinically dead for a significant (day or more) amount of time.
This whole ToV life-while-cryogenically-preserved is based on what?
Why wasn't Anton LaVey frozen?
Which Church of Satan members have cryonics contracts?
Thanks,
Mathias
Posted by Atman  in  OH  on  Wed Feb 23, 2011  at  11:41 PM
Damn it, the dipshit vampires are flooding the place.

Why don't you all stick some lifeforce up your asses?
Posted by The Shit  in  The Toilet Seat  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  05:52 AM
Nemo:
Posted by Criticize  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  03:38 PM
Nemo:
Posted by Criticize  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  03:48 PM
Continued from above: "Thus we see people who have to have heart attack, drop dead, be resuscitated, and then be willing to admit that after having had an NDE that was more vividly real than anything they EVER experienced before that there is more to reality than what science has currently identified.

So the Temple suggests that instead of waiting for a heart attack and hoping to be one of the 20% who have an NDE, that you roll up your sleeves and have an OBE without dying. Do the work required to verify what is what on each level of the Temple.

Be different from the masses who only look for permission from authority figures to decide what they can or cannot accept as real! Just consider that if you honestly know They are real then ask yourself what advantage there is to not trusting Their instructions?

I will add that They are not asking you to screw up your Dayside life in any manner that I am aware of. No request that you sell all of your worldly possessions and sit on a hilltop waiting to be rescued by UFOs or Jesus. No cyanide-laced Kool-Aid. No vows of chastity or poverty.

To the contrary, as you well know, our members are asked to pull together serious Dayside plans and to quietly go about testing the Nightside Teachings through steady effort.

There are levels of certainty regarding Their reality. But when you are really sure then you will treat what They suggest differently.

I know because I do and I am pleased to be able to state that most of those in the Priesthood do as well.
Posted by Criticize  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  03:49 PM
u can all talk forever about theories and speculations on this and that.. but the bottom line is that unless the seeker has a mystical experince, no matter of you call it kundalini or astrial travel or communion through ritual.. or what not, then he will forever remain in doubt and forever just speculating.

therefore the aim of every seeker should be mystical experience. the catch of course being that one cannot make of it an aim in itself else it never really comes. making it all into some sort of a earned or deserved experience.. in most cases a birthright, in some others, perhaps earned through effort and austerity of this or that kind.

once we get there, all words mean nothing. and we change, and with us changes the way we see the world. it's irrelevant whether call that yoga or communion with undead or what not. what matters is the result it yields.

most people here or in any cult including tov never have a mystical experience. and most people who do, never bother to join any cults. because they are fit to run and lead and teach. not to follow or serve.
Posted by darius  in  mtl  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  04:12 PM
Criticize, please post more about the ToV's belief in the Undead Gods. I was considering joining (I'm in the CoS and already purchased several of the bible offerings) and thought that the Undead Gods represented Nemo and some other high level *corporeal* members. Apparently, this is not the case! What you posted seems to point out that Nemo and the ToV believe in actual disembodied spirits who offer them advice and life guidance!
Please post more! I now think I understand now why some people say both groups shouldn't mix.
Posted by Patricia  in  KS  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  05:03 PM
forget about our cults and groups.
know thyself is the only science worth devoting your life to.

or in words of crowley.. well.. not really his but anyway..

There is beauty in every incident of life; the true and the false, the wise and the
foolish, are all one in the eye that beholds all without passion or prejudice: and
the secret appears to lie not in the retirement from the world, but in keeping a
part of oneself Vestal, sacred, intact, aloof from that self which makes contact
with the external universe. In other words, in a separation of that which is and
perceives from that which acts and suffers. And the art of doing this is really
the art of being an artist. As a rule, it is a birthright; it may perhaps be attained
by prayer and fasting; most surely, it can never be bought.
Posted by darius  in  mtl  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  05:12 PM
Is there a moderator available?
Darius is obviously a troll, planted to divert readers attention from the serious posts at hand to his gibberish.
Please delete all of Darius' postings.
Posted by Patricia  in  KS  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  08:20 PM
patricia, you are a female. your understandign will always be limited. you are for breeding more slaves only. there is no glory for you, female.. and your very nature and destiny is to be chained to earth and breed breed breed. and so you do and so you will. all you can hope for is a good man who will remind you and set you in your right place. and keep you there forever. just as humans get very unsettled when they are not in the servitude position, so do females, when they do not serve a man.

but that's roughly the story of humanity, they always stone the genius. they fear it. predator vs prey. same old story.

I am not angry. nor upset. nor even disappointed. I am merely superior to you female.
Posted by darius  in  mtl  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  08:31 PM
"Is there a moderator available?
Darius is obviously a troll, planted to divert readers attention from the serious posts at hand to his gibberish.
Please delete all of Darius' postings."

Leave them. They are of use in this discussion. Just wait and see.
Posted by Sand  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  09:00 PM
Patricia,

I would advise you to save your money. Anything the Temple offers can be found in outside sources. Most of their ideas come from old and modern concepts that can be found at amazon.com or a library.
Posted by Criticize  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  09:19 PM
Pat,
If you are on LttD, stir some shit up by subtly letting your CoS friends know about the MoH and what has been written here.
The important fact is that they don't mention cryonics on their website. They hide that. That's the big secret. They don't tell you that once you join, you MUST purchase a 30k+ cryonics contract to get into the upper levels.
Like other similar "occult" groups, they will brainwash you into thinking that those in the group are special (predator/elite) while those outside the group are merely human (prey/robots). Once you accept that, you will begin to make decisions based on the erroneous belief that the group members posses superior ideas to those outside the group. You may lose money and time while you figure out that it's all B.S. But eventually, everyone does. That's why you can't find much more than a dozen members who have been with the group for over a decade.Everyone is new every several years! Everyone figures it out !ROFL!
Posted by Stacy  in  HA  on  Thu Feb 24, 2011  at  10:49 PM
hi, hardcover copies of The Vampire Bibles now on ebay. Starting at $9.99, why pay $35.00? Please check out if you are interested.
Posted by B  on  Fri Feb 25, 2011  at  02:47 PM
Nemo: "You have The Vampire Bible.

If you follow the instructions described there you have the opportunity to verify what you seek and much more.

However, please understand that if you already disbelieve in such things, you will only succeed in proving that you can effectively block psi, something that has been publicly known since 1942.

The Temple Motto is "Test Everything, Believe Nothing."

The Temple Motto is not "Test us on everything and skip doing it yourself."

The Temple Motto is also not "Test nothing yourself and disbelieve everything."

You also have to drop your beliefs that such things are not possible to ever have a reliable chance to verify them for yourself.

You have to validate the experiences yourself to actually know what is so.

Otherwise you will never be certain whether or not you are being tricked by others or just deluding yourself.

Anything you do not do yourself is based on faith, not personal validation.

You are either having faith in what others are claiming, or you are testing these things for yourself and acquiring bedrock certainty.

For the former, there are about six billion humans ready to take you in.

We are only interested in the latter.

We are not about debate, argumentation, or other such useless nonsense.

The Temple is only concerned with obtaining results that the very few can achieve since only a very few are willing to actually "Test Everything, Believe Nothing".

For the masses, they must cling to their beliefs even it means their death.

We seek the few who want more and are willing to act on that desire.

The Temple is, itself, the test."
Posted by Awakening of Intelligence  in  Bronx  on  Fri Feb 25, 2011  at  03:41 PM
To: Criticize
You think it is humorous to post private messages on a public forum.
It is not.
All our actions have immediate karmic repercussions.
I hope you are prepared to deal with yours.
Posted by Aurobindo  on  Fri Feb 25, 2011  at  06:40 PM
Nemo: "When you fly on any airline in the world, they always explain how, if cabin pressure drops and the oxygen masks pop out, you should put your own mask on first and only then assist others, such as children, to put theirs on.

The Six Earthly Secrets are not casual suggestions but the true Grand Grimoire of Earthly Magic - the secrets to mastering your life on this world first.

You first.

Others second.

It is the only order that makes sense.

Glad that you understand this already.

That puts you ahead of about six billion people!"
Posted by Awakening of Intelligence  in  Bronx  on  Fri Feb 25, 2011  at  09:38 PM
Nemo: "There is a common dodge by some "scientists" to assume that if they can offer any kind of explanation for what happens physically then this "explains" such things as the out of body experience, for example.

Michael Persinger, a medical researcher in Canada, applies pulsing magnetic fields to certain parts of the brain, a volunteer has an out of body experience or perceives "aliens" in the room, and then Persinger says that this "proves" it was all a hallucination.

It proves nothing of the sort.

It only demonstrates that sometimes using pulsed magnetic fields you can induce an out of body experience or the experience of perceiving "aliens" in the same room with you.

Persinger does not even consider the possiblity that his magnetic fields might be enabling the brain to perceive and do things that otherwise it does not seem to do.

He assumes there is no astral body that could leave the physical body and so he is looking only for what could cause these "hallucinations".

He assumes that there is no one else in the room that the subject reports because Persinger does not see anyone else.

Perhaps Persinger should consider that the subject is now capable of seeing things that Persinger is still blind to!

It is quite sad to see these otherwise intelligent researchers ignore reports from their subjects when they acquire information they "should" not know while having an out of body experience!

But, over and over again, people do exactly that! They continue to have out of body experiences commonly in life threatening situations (such as the near death experience or NDE) and report back information they acquired while away from the body which is then verified as correct.

For the Vampire it is necessary to remember that the ignorant superstitious belief in classical materialism (disproven by physics for more than a century now) is common and stubbornly maintained by many scientists in other fields.

They should really know better but long held beliefs are difficult for the average person to challenge and break free from - especially when all of your peers still seem to view any other perspective as heresy.

The Vampire must recognize that these "authorities" have their own deeply held prejudices just as one would expect from members of a fundamentalist Christian church when confronted with evidence for evolution.

"Materialism" is a faith that has been disproven by science.

This is important to remember since we are still surrounded by "scientists" who are true believers in that faith!

Test Everything. Believe Nothing.

Especially do not simply believe what the priests of a disproven religion tell you is true or false.

Look at the actual evidence and make your own judgments.

Do not just believe what you are told by anyone.

Even so-called "scientists".
Posted by Criticize  on  Fri Feb 25, 2011  at  10:46 PM
I think this has not been posted here. It is a person name JWG and person name Obsidian talking about the TOV. Both are names in LttD is this those men?

http://www.occultforum.org/forum/topic?id=27109

The thread had history of the TOV too!
Posted by Karl  in  Berlin  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  01:09 AM
WARNING: the link above does not work! The link above goes to a virus infecting site! It gave my computer a trojan!
Posted by Matt  in  KS  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  01:31 AM
I guess too many people have an abundance of free time in within the confines of their worthless existences. Your identities are not as anonymous as you may think.
We are Watching.
Posted by N  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  01:35 AM
No it does not Matt it goes to site okay. You are trying to make people not click to see truth about you. You do this before a few times it is not honest.

All you do you lie and threaten like you watch us. You are like American Christians!
Posted by Karl  in  Berlin  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  01:39 AM
@Darius,

"...there is no glory for you, female.. and your very nature and destiny is to be chained to earth and breed breed breed. and so you do and so you will. all you can hope for is a good man who will remind you and set you in your right place. and keep you there forever. just as humans get very unsettled when they are not in the servitude position, so do females, when they do not serve a man..."

Well, this outta beat the female ToV members into submission - or are you a pro-gay organization?
Posted by Biggy  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  04:39 AM
LOLOLOL Nemo reviews porn!

http://www.excaliburfilms.com/AdultDVD/91476D1_Shaved_Pink_dvd.htm
Posted by .  in  .  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  05:30 AM
Thanks very much to the providers of this greatest informational site. I will not be joining the temple of vampire, after reading here, of cryonics, that is not informed in the official website. Good that you are found on the first page of searches on Google, if not, not would have found you while looking for temple of the vampire.
Posted by Vampira A. Ferndandez  in  Spain  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  02:29 PM
Do the Vampire Teachings deal with the chakras in any form? Is there a technique for light body flight that you use?
Blessed Be!
Kelly
Posted by Kelly  in  FL  on  Sat Feb 26, 2011  at  11:13 PM
"Wicca and Satanism are and have always been the same thing. We call it Wicca to outsiders, so as not to frighten or give the truth away to anyone. Once the join the coven and receive the third initiation, then we tell them the truth, that Lord Satan is our true God.
At least as Vampires, we don't need to play pretend whence communicating with each other!"
!!!!
Posted by Mordred  in  LA  on  Sun Feb 27, 2011  at  09:14 AM
Friends,
For those of us who validated our beloved teachings yet do not accept the cryonics because the Dragon does not require it, let us band again together and create a new clutch outside of the Temple.
Adepts, I know you are reading this. A new Temple to arise. We will keep our beloved teachings as they were before. Without the unnecessary cryonics. Do not let does who believe in being frozen look down upon us anymore. We are still Adepts. Please. Your thoughts.
JK
Adept
Posted by JK  on  Sun Feb 27, 2011  at  11:42 AM
JK...email add pls.
I'm interested.
X, ex-fourth circle member
Posted by aRIz  on  Sun Feb 27, 2011  at  07:44 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSrIkUXwsNk&feature=related
Posted by The Count  in  Sesame Street  on  Mon Feb 28, 2011  at  10:54 PM
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