The Museum of Hoaxes
hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive
 
Jernegan's Gold Accumulator Scam, 1898
Life discovered on the moon, 1835
A black lion: real or fake?
The boy with the golden tooth, 1593
The Case of the Vanishing Belly Button, 1964
Man flies by own lung power, 1934
Mule elected G.O.P. committeeman, 1938
Lord Gordon-Gordon, robber of the robber barons, 1871
The Hoaxing Hitchhiker, 1941
The Great Electric Sugar Swindle, 1884
Vampire Sites
Here's a couple of vampire-themed websites sent in by visitors. First we have the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. According to the blurb on the site, "From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation's vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead. This site is a tribute to the men and women who served in the FVZA, especially the over 4000 Agents who lost their lives fighting to keep our country safe." And next we have The Temple of the Vampire. If you want to live forever, then all you have to do is join the temple. The catch is that in order to join you have to buy their book, The Vampire Bible. That's a good sales gimmick. I should try something like that for my book, such as if you want to achieve a state of absolute enlightenment, then you have to buy my book.
Categories: Paranormal
Posted by The Curator on Wed Oct 29, 2003
Comments (2642)
Like_It_Matters:

Actually, I don't really care. This is just mental masturbation. It goes without saying the ToV are a bunch of mind-controlled idiots. It also goes without saying that anyone who thinks they are a vampire is an idiot as well. Vampires are folklore. Nothing more. I'm just having fun at the expense of fools like you. Have fun defending your fairy tales.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  in  Like_It_Matters  on  Mon Jun 02, 2008  at  01:06 AM
Again? Don't you learn?

"Sand in Yep, You are so predictable."

Yet you seem unable to do so.

"What makes you so frustrated is people aren't just blindly following what you or the idiots on here are trying to get everyone to believe."

Mmm... No. You're mixing me up with Jo or Eddie or someone else. All I've urged people to do was think a bit for themselves and gave a few pointers. And, really. What would I gain from convincing people here, that my worldview is the right one? You on the other hand...

"You probably thought to yourself one day, "Gee, I found a website where I may get some sympathy..."

I don't need sympathy. And you sound like it's hard to find unmoderated blogs on the internet. Besides, my views clashes with at least two third of the posters.

"...from (trolls and drones?)..."

I can see from the questionmark, that you didn't get that one. Funny, since you're the one calling others "sheeple".

"because my ass hurts and I dont understand things."

Just because you feel like this, doesn't mean I do.

"Then I can convince them I am intelligent, then they would have to follow what I say."

What would I gain by that? Seems like it's more up your alley.

"waa waa little beeeatch. Go back to licking yourself in your corner, "troll"."

Oh, that one hurt.

But you got the gender wrong, and I'm not that limber. You also semm to have misunderstood the concept of trolling.

"I bow to no one."

Since you hinted that your posterior hurt, I would have thought otherwise.

Again, the dribble in quotation marks was posted by:
Like_It_Matters on Sun Jun 01, 2008 at 07:03 PM


What a witty riposte. You never brought up my access to ToV texts, forum access, or your other ranting. Hate to point it out, but you're loosing ground.

And you also seem to have misunderstood another thing. This is not a ToV recruiting site or a troll playpen. It's a site for pointing out scams and hoaxes. If the ToV was what they claim to be, they'd let this blog in peace, as it serves them well to promote secrecy.

Instead we get the sales speach and success stories, as well as gloating morons and posers. The irony...
Posted by Sand  on  Mon Jun 02, 2008  at  06:16 AM
I was doing some research on the ToV and found this blog. I was considering joining them at one point but had many unanswered questions and reservations. No one in their right mind would just join up with a religion without finding out about it first, right? How else could you make an informed decision, after all?

After reading everything here, I have decided there is just too much reasonable doubt to ever spend my hard-earned money there. Perhaps their secrecy is to hide the many things which have been revealed here in this forum, be them true or untrue. I don't want to be scammed or taken for my cash in the name of any religion. It's just not worth the risk, nor is it worth it to be involved with so much apparent controversy and unrest.

Thank you, Museum of Hoaxes, for providing such a forum. I have since found other resources which have satisfied my needs regarding vampirism.
Posted by Anonymous  in  Running in the other direction  on  Mon Jun 02, 2008  at  11:49 PM
hah you guys are such idiots. You think that if someone follows what they beleive in than they are wrong, like if someone wants to follow the tov than they have every right to do so without being critisized, even if it is a money scam or not. Just like if people want to join christianity they should not be critisized but praised for their way of doing so. Half you people think you are better than everyone else because you just found some new people to put down others just want to put down those they think are not of the same intelligence level as them. I say that if some of us have made a decision fo joining the tov let them. But do remember there are things in this world that are beyond our understanding and there are fools out there who beleive that if they try to put it down than it will go away, but that is never so.
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Tue Jun 03, 2008  at  02:42 PM
""I bow to no one."

Since you hinted that your posterior hurt, I would have thought otherwise.

Again, the dribble in quotation marks was posted by:
Like_It_Matters on Sun Jun 01, 2008 at 07:03 PM"

ha ha ha ha, further proving your an idiot who sees what YOU want to see. I never typed that. Read it again, GENIUS!! ha ha ha ha...Idol worshipping sheep.
That name of the poster reads, "Like_It_Matters" Do you REALLY think I care about you or any other sheep here? Get a life and go back to your Star Trek conventions.
Edward seems the most intelligent poster here. Nice work EdwardtheImmortal. My laughs are done here. I have no more laughs for the idiots. They bore me, now. Far too predictable.
Posted by Like_It_Matters  on  Wed Jun 04, 2008  at  01:58 AM
"ha ha ha ha, further proving your an idiot who sees what YOU want to see. I never typed that. Read it again, GENIUS!! ha ha ha ha...Idol worshipping sheep."

It's apparent that you're the one projecting. But at least you got the genius part right. And I don't use idols in my rituals, nor do I worship anyone. But since you started out by gloating about being the predator and yadayada, I'd suspect you follow the riuals described in the vampire bible, pay the member fee and all in all is one of Nemo's buttmonkeys.

"That name of the poster reads, "Like_It_Matters"
Do you REALLY think I care about you or any other sheep here?"

Yet you've lashed out at my postings not once, but three times. Seems to me that it matters to you. Did I strike a nerve at some point? Did I pull the right wires, puppet? You say you expected a rant from me, and who is really ranting now? There were several leads in my posts, that would have lead to a proper discussion, yet you focus on the obvious insults and try to start a flamewar. Oh, how you dance, puppet.

And the handle "Like I Matter" would fit you better.

"Get a life and go back to your Star Trek conventions."

Oh, I have a life already. And I'm not a trekkie. You are wrong in your assumptions as usual.


"Edward seems the most intelligent poster here. Nice work EdwardtheImmortal."

Careful, Eddie. He's acting all buddybyddy with you. Watch your ass, or he will do his ToV thing.

"My laughs are done here."

No. You will be back, puppet. Using your usual or another name. After you read this, or in a week or half a year. Why? Because I pull your little strings. Because I've dug myself into your little skull, my words keep nagging you every time you think of this page or vampires, necromancers, or the ToV... or even when you play NWN2. Or am I just saying this to get rid of you? Whatever you do, you run the risk of me winning. And you'll never find out if you're doing what I want you to.

"I have no more laughs for the idiots. They bore me, now. Far too predictable."

Now, that is making me laugh. Guess who's predictable.

The part of the puppet was performed by Like_I_Matter on Tue Jun 03, 2008 at 08:58 PM
Posted by Sand  on  Wed Jun 04, 2008  at  02:00 PM
And Eddie. It seems like you're misunderstanding something. I don't mind vampires in general. ToV vampires on the other hand have a rather snobbish, almost hostile stance against anyone not Temple. Their manner may say one thing, but the air of disdain is easily felt. That is why I speak against ToV dogma.

And the reason I took a stab at you is because the things you say doesn't add up. You've outgrown your illness, but you're looking for a cure. You drink blood for the sake of your concience? You don't know the name of your illness? How will you find a cure, then? Lad, there's no meaning to what you say. Please look through your posts again.

You're also making a big target of yourself by claiming superior intelligence, the key word here being "superior". Calling others names like "retard" or "idiot" doesn't help either. Granted, I do the same thing to LIMmie the puppet, but attacks are paid bach until I'm not amused anymore. And the example with your teacher doesn't prove anything. You might have caught him outside his field or he might have had a bad day.


If you got something constructive to say, then by all means, do so. But trying to get kudos under anonymity is pointless.
Posted by Sand  on  Wed Jun 04, 2008  at  02:01 PM
it is an hebal cure hard to find and the reason i dont know the name of my illness is I cannot pronounce it, and one other thing the snobbish hostile stance of the tov is really vampiric nature for one thing vampires are different so therefor outcasts from society until gradually like so many other thing on this pitiful rock we call a planet fade into the sands of time only to become myth and legends, nightmares thought to be created fantasys to haunt our dreams and thoughts, but even then people have a nagging in the back of their minds that somehow there must be some throuth to the myths.
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Fri Jun 13, 2008  at  01:37 PM
No. don't generalize. Vampires are not by default like that, and had you been a little more about, you'd know that. True, some are still rather unpleasant company, but that's more of an exception than a rule.

But, of course, flaunting your nature will always isolate you from society. It is a natural reaction and shouln't be blamed on others. Don't brag. Don't feed in public (espescially if sanguine). Furthermore, there have been cases of vampire murders, adding to public unease against anyone claiming to be vampires. Then there are the religious screwballs playing vampire slayers. The "predator" role is popular to people in search of empowerment, but to think the roles cannot be switched is naive if not outright stupid.

So it's a matter of perceiving your environment and adapting to it. The secrecy ToV advocates, then kicks the concept into the ditch. Do you now understand my exasperation? The ignorant have a tendency to burn "things" that scare them, starting with fools like LIMmie the puppet.

So if you become an outcast it's because you're ruled by your nature, which in my eyes isn't an excuse.


The illness associated with vampirism is called porphyria. I would recommend caution towards herbal cures, as they are very often ineffective or even damaging to your health. Get some info on porphyria if that is indeed what you suffer from. But in any case, you need the specific name of your illness. Your docter can provide you with that, and your science teacher should have access to scientific databases like Dialog. Get as much info as possible before buying or taking anything.
Posted by Sand  on  Fri Jun 13, 2008  at  10:36 PM
How sweet. You forgot to hand him a tissue though. He's not going to cry blood tears, is he?

You guys are really a piece of work. Vampires.. LOL

Give my regards to Mr. Stoker. I have to say though, boys, Halloween isn't for a few months yet.
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Wed Jun 18, 2008  at  02:38 AM
No, he's not going to cry blood. You're reading too much vampire fiction. And Stoker was wrong.

If the boy is suffering from porphyria, he'll need the information. If he's just trying to pull our leg, I can't really be bothered.

Like I pointed out, my views clash with that of most people, so I was counting on such responses. Proves my puppet wrong again. Seeking sympathy, riiiiight.

Tell me, sweet prince. Do you also bash christians, muslims, vicca and other people believing something different than you? Belief is technically belief, whether it's vampires, dancing destroyers of worlds or flying spagetti monsters.
Posted by Sand  on  Thu Jun 19, 2008  at  07:05 AM
hah most people do like to critisize others for their beliefs i mean come on we would be colonizing space if it wasnt for the dark ages where science was considered heresy, does that sound familiar? people wo think that the tov is heresy for being stupid. what a laugh ive heard better from a mentaly handycap person with an electronic voice
Posted by edward the immmortal  in  ohio  on  Sat Jun 21, 2008  at  04:24 PM
yeah i spelled who wrong so just to let you know for the people who are to stupid to figure it out
Posted by edward the immortal  in  up yours  on  Sat Jun 21, 2008  at  04:25 PM
Eddie. You're not helping yourself. Your use of historical references is even more atrocious than your use of the english language. Furtermore, using base insults are poor choice if you want to be taken seriously, as is the role-playing speechpatterns and pseudophilosophy. To make things even worse is your acting offended by peoples jeers at your claims of being ill, then shoot off some tasteless insults involving mentally handicapped and people needing a mechanical larynx. You were even waving the cancer flag while playing indignant. Someone with serious health issues would know better than to belittle other peoples misfortunes, so I can only conclude that you're either lying, has no regard for other people or both. And hematophagy as a treatment is a medical myth, so you saying you needed plasma is bull. However, your language pattern shows signs of ADHD. You ought to have that checked.

You clearly percieve this blog as an electronic pissing contest. Perhaps you should try somewhere else, where the gullibility factor is considerably higher, like say... the ToV forum or a WoW server.
Posted by Sand  on  Sat Jun 21, 2008  at  08:23 PM
I must admit, I am becoming bored now with this whole thing. Even Edward's tantrums are getting old. They were good for a few laughs though. Thanks Eddie. Maybe you can get your mom to buy you a spell-checker for Christmas.

Don't worry Edward, there is a place for everyone in this world. I'm almost certain you'll find yours, right up that Nemo fellow's butt crack. Bye.
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Sun Jun 22, 2008  at  03:54 AM
Okay, this is way too funny. First off, the replies of "said" vampires, here...stop using such gay RPG names. The TOV was started by Nicholas Strathloch, who ran the Fang Club in Beverly Hills,CA more than a decade ago. He was one of those charlatans that claimed to have a revelation involving supernatural powers, after a near drowning incident as a youngster. If you need citation, just find the mini documentary on A&E;.
Posted by Chris Thorne  on  Mon Jun 23, 2008  at  08:53 AM
Greetings!

Great to see you mention the Temple in this context. The ones with the Eyes to see will notice, and the debris will scurry away!

Forever,

Eiwhaz
Posted by Eihwaz  in  Norway  on  Mon Jun 30, 2008  at  08:44 PM
This is in answer to Mr. Chris Thorne's post of 23 June 2008:

For the record, I did NOT start the TOV or the Fang Club in Beverly Hills - I was merely an avid supporter. The A&E;"Unexplained" documentary you cite does not in fact make these claims.

I am the founder of Anunnakism - a system of mystical shamanism (http://www.WatchersGuild.net) - but I was indeed a senior member of the TOV's Priesthood.

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.

Peace.
Sincerely,
Nicolas Strathloch
5 July 2008
Posted by Nicolas Strathloch  in  Los Angeles, CA  on  Sat Jul 05, 2008  at  05:44 PM
In Addendum:

Just to set the record straight - I am no longer a member of the TOV (since 1998) - and I do NOT support their views and "ideals."

I am my own person - I have my own ways - I will not bow to their dogmatic misguided paradigm.

Faith is faith - but theirs is not for me.

Sincerely,
Nicolas Strathloch
5 July 2008
Posted by Nicolas Strathloch  in  Los Angeles CA  on  Sat Jul 05, 2008  at  06:03 PM
So dario, does being a "vampire" mean you have to speak as if you were playing a role playing game.
It sure takes a lot of words to say nothing? Acting as if you are enlightened does not make it so. Living in a fantasy goth lifestyle may be fun, but it's also stupid, especially if you're paying someone else to do so. Discrediting other religions does not bring credit to your religion. Too many contradictions... it would appear you don't even know what YOU believe. You've just been taught how to cover all the bases with poetic language. "Know this, though, I have spoken, and what I have said is said" Yeah, yeah, we all know you said something.... can anyone say "unwarranted sense of self importance"?

The bottom line is this - "the temple of the vampire" promises the possibility of immortality... every creature on Earth WILL die eventually. Get your head out of the clouds.
Posted by inkblack666  on  Tue Jul 22, 2008  at  01:13 PM
wow, nemo posted and didn't use his name, sounds like a chicken shit. its really sad when you show the proof and state your case and now there all dismissing your claim and your letter from TOV, from page 4 as it were. i grew up christain but never stayed with a religion because they all need money and they will show you and say what ever it is you want and they will make up to draw you in to there money making scam. there human and if a dna test were taken from them and all TOV members there so called vampire claim would prove them as human, not a vampire, the only way to become a "true vampire is if your in the fields of science and nano-bots for self repair of damaged skin,organs.
So in turn nemo has no know how in the fields of science. he can't show us because of exposing his true self. you can track people like that easier because they are self important and unknowingly give out info on there location. poor fools.
Posted by bob  in  A Place From Banishment  on  Tue Aug 12, 2008  at  06:42 AM
You said:
"Greetings!

Great to see you mention the Temple in this context. The ones with the Eyes to see will notice, and the debris will scurry away!

Forever,

Eiwhaz"

Why do you feel a need to brag if your claims are true? Why waste one keyboard stroke on any puny mortal.

You remind me of some born-again christian coming on here and shouting, "Your going to burn in Hell! Sinner! And Jesus will destroy you all in the Apocalypse! If you repent (join the Temple and pay your tithes) you can be SAVED-uhhhh!"

Hmmm... you sound no better than christians and please stop littering and leaving your bible tracts/temple cards everywhere.
Posted by NA  in  NA  on  Thu Aug 14, 2008  at  09:45 PM
why can't people get it in there head that i'm not eaither as stated before, i don't care about any fucking money making scams called, "religion"

people can't scare me with the fears of this so called hell bullshit.

when you die you basicly go to sleep, its a like a pcs shut down mode, nothing more and if you can't fix they pc type of shut down aka sleeping death as it were. then 4 mins your brain is dead and at 5 mins your nothing more then a corps at that point, i've watched both my mom and my dad die in the hospitals and there really nothing to fear. even after death its very possible to see what the cells aka memory cells have in them, but decoding them is still years away. food for thougt at the very least.

so as for tov its fake and so its all others that want a higher power, well we humans are the higher power and science is the key to unlock all kinds of new doors to find new things to use.

nemo said test eveything an belive nothing.
he broke his own rule when he did not test the truth of what i was telling him, what he did do is not belive me. That rule he follows to the letter, its a contradiction, a play on words
to confuse people into thinking that, "hey wow that sounds really cool," when in fact its a contradiction.

Its the biggest form of classical logic, a contradiction consists of a logical incompatibility between two or more propositions. It occurs when the propositions, taken together, yield two conclusions which form the logical inversions of each other. Illustrating a general tendency in applied logic, Aristotle
Posted by bob  in  A Place From Banishment  on  Fri Aug 15, 2008  at  02:50 AM
[QUOTE FROM TWO POSTS UP] You said:
"Greetings!

Great to see you mention the Temple in this context. The ones with the Eyes to see will notice, and the debris will scurry away!

Forever,

Eiwhaz"

Why do you feel a need to brag if your claims are true? Why waste one keyboard stroke on any puny mortal.

You remind me of some born-again christian coming on here and shouting, "Your going to burn in Hell! Sinner! And Jesus will destroy you all in the Apocalypse! If you repent (join the Temple and pay your tithes) you can be SAVED-uhhhh!"

Hmmm... you sound no better than christians and please stop littering and leaving your bible tracts/temple cards everywhere. [QUOTE FROM TWO POSTS UP]

[MY POST]
your so right, they use what i call bible copying, meaning they take the bible old or new (your pick) and they replace a few words, like, "bible" becomes, "vampire bible"
"church," becomes, Temple and so one down the line, the same people that made the COS are the same people that made TOV, There method, is this. replace the the word, if it does not look right a vampire before or after the replacement of the word, like as before, bible, becomes vampire bible. The same rule is applyed is COS, aka "Church" of Satan, My logic is this. look at how they use satan and vampire as i break it down into its components

Temple

of

The

Vampire

so if you want to make up your own thing its very easy to do.

like

Temple of the Liers
Church of Dildos

its all very simple to break down into its parts that make it sound better then it really is.

its nothing more then people sharing a milk shake
that has halusagens in it.

to make people see what they want to see and most people will take it up the ass willingly and others like us will question everything and test everything that is the true meaning of life.


"question everything and test everything"
Posted by bob  in  A Place From Banishment  on  Fri Aug 15, 2008  at  03:25 AM
It seems as if most of the dissenters herein have focused mainly on the cost of joining the ToV. I'd only remind those who are thinking in this vein that the cost to join coupled with a copy of the Vampire Bible is quite low. Look with a comparative eye toward the fees etc imposed by other belief systems and I believe you'll see my point.

I suppose one could read the book and call it a 'rip off' if it didn't ring true in their mind but in my opinion $20 isn't a steep price to pay considering that the price of a standard hardbound novel is usually higher.

Also, the cost of running an organization, running a website, and publishing the book could hardly, I'd think, be met or profitably exceeded by the low entrance fee.

For myself, this isn't about dollars but rather about investigating different perspectives about a great number of things.

For the record, I am not authorized to speak for the ToV, but I am authorized to speak highly of the people I know there. I have not met a discernable fool among them. The path is simply for some and not for some.
Posted by skullfarmer  on  Mon Aug 25, 2008  at  01:35 PM
Role-players - all role-players!!!! Don't send ANY money.... this is a fantasy!!!! Go to the library and read all the books you want and immerse yourself in the fantasy - all of them. Order fangs, buy a black wig, talk in olde world lingo, act mysterious.... it's just a game, people. Play if want but please don't PAY. That's just silly! THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS VAMPIRES! SORRY, THERE JUST AREN'T. SORRY. DEAL. OR, my all you can drink neck fountain is open all night!
Posted by tessa  in  philadelphia  on  Thu Aug 28, 2008  at  04:24 PM
Mmmm. For a moment, there, you had me wishing I was living in Philadelphia.
Posted by Simon  on  Mon Sep 01, 2008  at  08:43 AM
But basing research on wether a read "rings true" is too subjective. If you are who I think you are, you should know that. And I don't flinch from using my money on studies. Several of my materials have cost me more than several years of windmill combat in the ToV would. Sometimes you waste your money, and sometimes you progress in leaps because of your sacrefices. Temple is a waste of time and resources. That's not a judgement born from the text not "ringing true" in my mind, but through objective studying, comparing and experimenting.

But I hope you do not limit yourself to one source of knowledge. That would indeed be a waste.



And anyone wanting to see Nemo shake his rethoric mambo can see it here: http://www.satannet.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=336160
Posted by Sand  on  Mon Sep 01, 2008  at  05:47 PM
Hello, i was wondering, Are there truly IMMORTAL vampires out there? Seriously, no BS. Email me back. If you have nothing nice to say, dont say anythign at all.
Posted by Lena Vaguely here  on  Tue Sep 02, 2008  at  08:41 PM
Sand, yes, basing research on whether or not something rings true would be foolhardy. I do think, however, that much research starts from a spark exactly like that. One gets interested enough in something to start exploring it in greater depth and after a while it starts looking a lot like research.

Really my sole point to make was simple; one could do worse than spend 20 bucks on a subject that interests them. The main focus of the thread seemed to be about the huge financial burden which simply doesn't exist.

... tessa from Philly, I usually don't respond to posts like yours but you're far off base and it shows to a much greater extent than your failure to realize that ordering fangs and a wig would likely cost twice the purchase price of the vampire bible.

By the by Sand, I think i just realized who you are.
Posted by skullfarmer  on  Sat Sep 06, 2008  at  05:29 PM
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