The Online Pregnancy Tester
Status: Joke Website
This site claims to be able to scan you through your computer monitor using 'zeta waves', and determine whether or not you are pregnant.
The scanning software checks for:
Endocrine balance, Hormone levels, Amniotic concentration, Carbohydrate level, Ketone (ketosis/lipolysis), Ovulation status, Bovine Encephalitis, Distemper, and Progesterone infusion. The remote testing system then checks the levels and calculates the likelihood of your being pregnant.
It's a joke site, obviously. They do have such disclaimers on each page.
There are some good parts, such as the guarantee:
"Our results are 100% guaranteed. Please note we only guarantee that you'll get a result, not that the results will be accurate." I also liked the section where it tells you the identity of the father of your baby.
(via randi.org)
Posted By: Flora | Date:
Sun Nov 05, 2006 |
Permalink |
Total Comments: 25
Category:
Birth/Babies,
Websites
Comments
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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Dammit... my birth control didn't work, and Pee Wee Herman got me pregnant! Apparently I'm having a baby boy named Gabriel.
Posted by Sakano in Ohio on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 07:57 AM
Not possible why would anything (just saying about aliens and sasquatch)think it was real.Deserves its place on a hoax website.
Posted by J on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 08:59 AM
The Birth Certificate at the end of the test is saying something about December 25th, 7:15 in the evening, Chambersburg Hospital, Chambersburg, PA.
Maybe they're making a public advertisement of some Christmas Party?
Posted by DukeLeto in Bucharest, Romania on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 03:41 PM
you can easily tell that it's a parody jsut by looking at rrr the rrr by looking at rrrr I'm sorry excuse me brb
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:14 PM
right there on the first pggnnrrrr sorry the first gnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oh god not now the doors not lo
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:19 PM
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf arr rrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:23 PM
Are you trying to tell us something? Are you the mother of your baby?
T.
Posted by DukeLeto in Bucharest, Romania on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:26 PM
arrarrfffaarrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. rrf
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:26 PM
Should I look for some Xanax?
T.
Posted by DukeLeto in Bucharest, Romania on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:30 PM
Congratulations, Sharruma! You're "with child". Our remote testing system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has begun! To see whether your baby is a boy or a girl, click the "View My Baby" button below.
Sharruma, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 14 lbs, 9 oz and have brown hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!
Michael Jackson
OMFG! We didn't even know that Michael Jackson had DNA compatible with Earth women. Don't blame us if your kid turns out to be a Smooth Criminal.
Posted by Sharruma in capable of finishing a coherent on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:35 PM
...just don't let him near the baby... last time he showed it hanging to the press. Other than that, your child will be happy. He'll have his very own amusement park.
T.
Posted by DukeLeto in Bucharest, Romania on Sun Nov 05, 2006 at 04:39 PM
I'm deeply disturbed...I appear to have been impregnated by Ralph Nader...sorry, Acci!
Although I do like the name they picked out for the baby - Hannah.
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 03:04 AM
Oh, and Hairy's problem is that it's full moon...we'll just have to let him run about for a few days...
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 03:16 AM
I've been impregnated by Janet Reno!
Posted by MadCarlotta on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 08:00 AM
Vozdra! Ima li netko mojega govornog podrucja na ovom web-site-u?

Posted by Mario on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 08:26 AM
im pregnant! with a girl who will have brown hair and grey eyes, aww.
GAH. The pope is the father!
Posted by thunder in England on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 09:49 AM
Janet Reno is the father of my baby!!!
I didn't go further to look at other results. I was too grossed out by the Janet Reno thing.
Posted by Maegan in Tampa, FL - USA on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 10:54 AM
god-hwo can you people ignore it Its so damn bright rrrrrrrrrrrah
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 04:53 PM
shes so beautiful like the ocean in my blood nnrrrrrr
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 04:57 PM
"I'm deeply disturbed...I appear to have been impregnated by Ralph Nader..."
- Posted by Smerk

Posted by Accipiter in the Northern Hemisphere, unless They have lied. on Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 09:18 PM
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