The Museum of Hoaxes
hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive
 
Lord Gordon-Gordon, robber of the robber barons, 1871
Bonsai Kittens, 2000
Pierre Brassau, Monkey Artist, 1964
The Case of the Vanishing Belly Button, 1964
'Solar Armor' freezes man in Nevada Desert, 1874
A black lion: real or fake?
The most sacred relic: the Holy Foreskin, circa 800 AD
The Diaphote, a television hoax, 1880
Fake Fish Photos
Mule elected G.O.P. committeeman, 1938
The Husband Mannequin
image Suzy Walker's husband is away from home, serving on the USS West Virginia. But you'd hardly know he was gone, because Suzy carries around a life-size mannequin of him:

Walker bought her stand-in man for $200 and she takes him everywhere. He's been to the movie theater, Victoria's Secret, and the gas station to buy lottery tickets. The couple attracts lots of attention.

The only thing that could make this creepier would be if it turned out she didn't have a real husband. Didn't William Faulkner write a short story with a premise like that?
Categories: Identity/Imposters, Sex/Romance
Posted by The Curator on Tue Dec 13, 2005
Comments (22)
Okay...this does seem a tad disturbing...
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  01:19 AM
Well..as long as she knows that's a mannequin ...
Posted by Yushi  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  01:28 AM
If this was a Twilight Zone story, it would turn out that SHE was the mannequin somehow.

When I first read about this, I thought it might be some kind of promotion. I have seen a photo supposedly of her husband, not that that proves this isn't a stunt of some kind, of course. I guess we'll just have to wait to see if a second shoe drops.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  03:43 AM
What would you say if you found out this turned out to be one of those Amamanta anatomically correct dolls you had posted about earlier. Maybe there's MORE to that mannequin than you or I are aware of (and there probably is, since she won't let it out of her sight).
Posted by Christopher in Joplin, Missouri  in  Joplin, Mo  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  07:06 AM
I saw this story on the local news over the weekend. That lady is as crazy as this story sounds like she is. She's only playing with one fruit loop.
Posted by Craig  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  07:44 AM
Imagine coming home after months away, and reading the news about wifey and the mannequin... Away with you, freak! smile
Posted by Gutza  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  10:57 AM
I think she is going to leave her husband and run away with the mannequin. He'll be surprised when he get's back.
Posted by Dae Dae  in  Charleston, SC  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  12:29 PM
Her maiden name isn't by chance Bates is it?

If it is, they should verify that actually is a mannequin!
Posted by Chris Carlisle  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  01:08 PM
To me, this story has more of a Ray Bradbury feel.

The only Faulkner story I can think of that follows this kind of plotline is "A Rose for Emily," where (*warning: don't read the rest of this if you don't want me to give away the ending*) Miss Emily poisons her ostensible suitor and then continues to lie in bed with his corpse every night for several more decades. Not exactly a mannequin, but sort of similar.
Posted by Big Gary in the stratosphere  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Tue Dec 13, 2005  at  06:19 PM
I personally know Suzy and this mannequin was nothing more than a prop used in photos to document how she spent her time while her husband was off serving our country. My own children had their photo taken with this doll as our way of showing our support to her sailor. The only thing Suzy is "crazy" about is her husband. You all are turning something cute into something ugly.
Posted by Shannon G.  in  New Hampshire  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  07:28 AM
Shannon, I saw this on TV. There was NOTHING normal about it. Your friend is a freakin nutcase.
Posted by Craig  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  07:42 AM
Craig - you are wrong. They only portrayed her as a "nutcase." I think was a cute idea - I completely support her. It's a creative way to show her husband how she spent her time while he was gone... Nothing more. Her husband thinks it very funny and he also supports her. Unless you have had to deal with the stresses of military life and deployments, I guess it would be difficult to recognize the "positive" side of this story.
Posted by Shannon G.  in  New Hampshire  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  08:07 AM
Question: can't you do all that, and care just as much, but WITHOUT the husband-looking puppet?
Posted by Gutza  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  09:26 AM
Of couse you can do it without the mannequin - but it so CREATIVE to do it with... Her husband will come home after deployment and get to look through the scrapbook that Suzy loving made for him - he will see all the places she has been. Think of the mannequin as a metaphore... while she was at the movies, he was there too. Not only in her heart, but in the photo too. It is not a puppet... it is a prop. I have known families to super-impose their husband's image into family pictures for Christmas cards and such while they were serving overseas - this is just a more creative way to do that. I still think it is a great idea...
Posted by Shannon G.  in  New Hampshire  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  09:36 AM
Yeah, the positive side of the story is all the anti-psychotic drug endorsements she'll get after she goes in for therapy.
Posted by Craig  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  10:12 AM
Craig, I sincerely hope that you never have to face the fear of a loved one going off to defend our country. I hope that you are never left behind waiting to hear the fate of that loved one. I feel that that duty, the one required of military spouses, should be left to only the strong in mind and spirit. Thank God Suzy is one of those women who can stand up and represent the rest of us military wives in a light-hearted and comical way.
Posted by Shannon Gallagher  in  New Hampshire  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  10:48 AM
SHANNON, CRAZY is CRAZY, no matter how you paint it. Don't even TRY to get on a high horse here, she is a nutcase.
Posted by Craig  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  11:40 AM
I am in no way trying to get on a "high horse." I know Suzy, I know how this story has been portrayed. I can admit that had I not known Suzy and all I had seen was the video, I would think it is a bit weird... But when you know the whole story, as I have told it here, can't you find any FUN in it? Aren't we all a little CRAZY at some point? I think this is one of those "GOOD CRAZY" things... I guess we will have to agree to disagree.
Posted by Shannon  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  11:45 AM
Boy, Florida is one weird place!
Posted by Dutch  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  04:20 PM
Shannon, just drop it. Craig's opinion doesn't matter anyway, whether you feel it's wrong or not. Don't worry about what some anonymous stranger on a message board thinks...you know the truth, and Suzy is having a good time supporting her husband, so isn't that what matters?
Posted by Sakano  in  Ohio  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  04:48 PM
Okay, this would have been funny for a day or so, but now it's seriously bordering on disorder. Dealing with the seperation from a loved one can be very difficult, if not traumatic, but relying on a mannequin as a surrogate indicates a much more serious issue. It's possible that she may be unable to be without it, and that's far from a healthy relationship.
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  06:44 PM
Or it really could be that it was something cute that was portrayed very differently on the news. As a past victim of the media getting very basic information wrong leading to me recieving death threats for something that was completely blown out of proportion, I'm going to assume that she is probably perfectly normal and thought this would be fun and creative.

Damn the media...
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Wed Dec 14, 2005  at  10:01 PM
Commenting is no longer available for this post.
All text Copyright © 2014 by Alex Boese, except where otherwise indicated. All rights reserved.