The Museum of Hoaxes
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The worms inside your face
Adolf Hitler Baby Photo Hoax, 1933
The Lovely Feejee Mermaid, 1842
Loch Ness Monster Hoaxes
'Solar Armor' freezes man in Nevada Desert, 1874
war of the worlds
The night Martians invaded New Jersey, 1938
Sober Sue, the woman who never smiled, 1907
Rare planetary alignment decreases gravity, 1976
Vilcabamba, the town of very old people, 1978
Mencken's fake history of the bathtub, 1917
Ted Jesus Christ GOD
image Ted Kurts is a humble guy. All he asks is that you recognize that he's the Messiah and the second coming of Jesus Christ. You doubt his claim? You want proof? Then check out his photo to the right. Doesn't he look eerily like certain portrayals of Christ? What better proof could you ask for? Oh, and please don't refer to him as Ted Kurts. It's Ted Jesus Christ God, to you. When I come across sites like this it's hard to know if they're supposed to be taken seriously or not. I kinda suspect Ted is serious. Or maybe not. Who knows. But Ted Jesus Christ God says that anyone who links to his site will be blessed, so if he does turn out to be the real thing, then I've got my bases covered.
Categories: Religion
Posted by The Curator on Wed Mar 17, 2004
Comments (73)
No, I don't think this guy takes himself seriously, he's openly encouraging donations and selling CD's of his writings. You have to pay $37 per CD, and I can bet that what you get is a dump of his site, judging by the CD's description: "The Information on this CD is in Internet Site format and are in .htm or .html format and can be read and browsed and looked at with a standard Internet Browser."

Nobody who would really believe they were Messiah would do that IMHO.
Posted by Gutza  in  Bucharest, Romania  on  Wed Mar 17, 2004  at  08:01 AM
What the heck is this supposed to mean? It sounds like a description of polygamy written in the first week of "English as a 2nd language".

"Angels of Light that are Female Spiritual Living Things Wives of THE ONE LIVING GOD are getting increased in numbers!"
Posted by Gee  in  Boise  on  Wed Mar 17, 2004  at  02:44 PM
Oh my GOD. Check out the page about sex. This guy is sacrilicious! smile

"TJCG is INSISTING that HE is THE CREATOR and what therefore is THE CREATOR going to WANT to give self and have in the future? This is a Face and Body that on a Scale of 0 to 1000 is 1000 FINE and YOUNG and HANDSOME and GOOD LOOKING and ATTRACTIVE and MORE that is DESIRABLE for any Wife of HIS!"

And it gets a lot worse... but I'll leave out the explicit portions.
Posted by mystic kitten  on  Wed Mar 17, 2004  at  03:20 PM
Jesus Christ is a spammer! This idiot hit me last week - emails a whopping 150k in size, completely of text. I normally adore the frenzied scribblings of madmen, but my eyes glazed over after he started in with the 40 days and 40 nights thing.

Posted by caligula  in  chicago  on  Wed Mar 17, 2004  at  04:55 PM
Well, GOD is in all caps so what does it stand for? He looks like a moron to me. Just look at his grammar. "The loud spiritual started to happen and then Ted realized that Ted had to document some of this and write this down." What the heck is that? And for all we know that could just be a picture of some guy that he got off of another site.
Posted by Alex  in  GA  on  Wed Mar 17, 2004  at  07:17 PM
Ok. Ted whatsamabobit is a feking PSYCHO. wont it be funny when the REAL Messiah comes, and Ted burns in hell for pretenteding to be God, wont it?
Posted by Jules  in  Kahlifonia  on  Thu Mar 18, 2004  at  03:21 AM
I mean, really, Loser. Urg.
Posted by Jules  in  Kahlifonia  on  Thu Mar 18, 2004  at  03:22 AM
Actually this guy is a genius. Historically people have followed such claims before. Some even have religions by their name!! As an added bonus this guy may be making some money from the stuff he is selling... (some people will actully buy it believe it or not).
Posted by td  on  Thu Mar 18, 2004  at  05:55 PM
i know. how sad.... he might be a genius, but he's a mental one at that... where's his proof that he's God?
Posted by Jules  in  Kahlifonia  on  Thu Mar 18, 2004  at  09:37 PM
http://www.geocities.com/churchoffandel/

Check this guy out...We need to get these two together...it's dueling nut-balls.
Posted by Gee  in  Boise  on  Tue Mar 23, 2004  at  07:00 PM
He looks like he'd crucify himself for just one altar boy.
Posted by gfizzle  in  tulsa  on  Wed Mar 24, 2004  at  11:34 AM
I think the most scary thing about this is that this guy probably 'believes' that he is God. Even scarier freaks like this are out and about free to walk among us (and publish webpages) until they start some cult and convince loads of other deranged loonies to top themselves
Posted by I, L'eclair  on  Wed May 19, 2004  at  01:17 AM
I just spent about the last 20 minutes looking over this guy's site. This guy is truly sick and sounds definitly crazy. At first I thought it was just some guy who thought he'd make this site to just act stupid and make people laugh at his bad grammer, but the more I look at it the more I think that this guy really believes all this. He seems obsessed with sex and his ex wife. He also mentions somewhere that he spent some time in a mental health institution. I wonder why they let him out....
Posted by Razela  in  san diego, ca  on  Sat May 22, 2004  at  02:59 AM
Whats wrong with this guy? The true God Jesus Christ died on the cross for people like him. I really hope that he repents before its too late. Its written in the Bible that in the last days there will be people claiming to be Jesus, this man must be one of them that Jesus spoke about, what a nutcase!
Posted by Jessie  in  Klang  on  Mon May 24, 2004  at  03:22 AM
That is nothing but a demon of anti-Christ.
Posted by M.J.  in  Texas  on  Mon May 24, 2004  at  04:03 PM
And he says he is selling tickets to heaven !! LMAO !!!
Posted by DD  on  Wed May 26, 2004  at  02:58 AM
I still think the Kirk Cameron site rules in the religeous nuts category. It will either put the fear of GOD into you or put you off Christianity completely.
Posted by Jo  in  Cape Town, South Africa  on  Wed Jun 02, 2004  at  11:30 AM
The site is obviously a spoof. If it isn't, then there seems to be something amiss with him mentally!
To reply to a few of the comments left already-
1) Jessie- The Christian New Testament/NT part of the Bible says many will come saying they are "the *Christ/messiah*" (Matt. 24), NOT that they are "Jesus" himself. The claim isn't a big deal, since there were contemperaries of when the NT Jesus suppose to have lived that said they were the messiah, just as there were and are after him. There are perhaps more now, but there are more people. A historical Jesus claiming the same would be one among them. It already was occuring when the NT Jesus suppose to have said it.
2)MJ- "That" cannot be a demon, if you refer to a site. Demons allegedly are beings, not websites. People who are doing spoofs or are mentally challeneged/etc., are not demons. They are people. If you mean demon-possessed, they are not that, either. Even if I were still a believer in the NT version of Jesus, I would be more careful & would think more than that. Isn't it nice & wonderful how many Christians have just slapped demon or demon possession on people like that?! How charming! Perhaps that was the problem with the NT stories of demon possession-if they happened at all- it might have been mental/psychological issues.
3) Jules- I found that the evidence for the NT Jesus being God, and the NT being divine revelation failed. That is much more important.
I used to be a born again Christian, and I saw that the so-called case for its Jesus fails. The Google ads for Lee Strobel's defense of the Christian New Testament portion of the Bible and its Jesus fails, the others I went to fails, my studies in the Bible alone showed this, going to defenses of bornagainism and the Christian Bible failed, and going to Jewish & skeptical sources weren't prefect, but they were more than enough to confirm so much of what I already found and could not find justifiable answers from the texts themselves. I could not find enough to trust it from its defenders. My areas of studies were the supposed 'messianic prophecies' about the NT Jesus (in the Jewish/'Old Testament' and Christian NT passages) and the 4 NT accounts of the trial(s), crucifixion, burial, resurrection, and ascension of its Jesus and related NT passages.
See my profile:
http://profiles.yahoo.com/biblebelievernomore
with a link to my decponversion story and other web links. Search them!
Do a search on:
http://www.infidels.org
on any Christian defender and see what happens. There are replies to many of them.
Also there-books, many articles, a lot of stuff.
On infidels.org/The Secular Web, put in:

Strobel

and read the replies and links in the responses to him. I could write to expose weaknesses to him, and I hope to get the time to do so. I would go at it somewhat differently than the article I read does, but it and others are good with food for thought there.
Posted by Harry  in  New England, USA  on  Wed Jun 02, 2004  at  10:20 PM
What is with all this "Jesus Christ God" stuff or "God Jesuse Christ". Jesus is the first name of the MAN, the SON of God, NOT God himself. The title he is given is the Christ so he is refered to as Jesus Christ. Jesuse is not God on earth, he is the son of God. and those long names are really annoying anyway...
Posted by Geoff  on  Tue Jun 08, 2004  at  11:17 PM
also...when Jesus does come back for the second coming, he wont be chilling around, it says he will rise the born-again dead and take them to eternal life, and then the born-again alive and take them to eternal life.
Posted by Geoff  on  Tue Jun 08, 2004  at  11:29 PM
Harry: I appriciate your search for truth. You've done a lot of research but just because you've done research doesn't definitively explain God, world and how it all works. If you claim that, I'd worry that you're starting to cross the line to join the nut cases claiming diety. The Bible is a hard read, especially when you appraoch it skeptically and without the Holy Spirit. I know that Christianity has let you down. As a member of the Body of Christ, I'm sorry for any pain you gone through because of anyone claiming Jesus. AS FOR TED: The reason the NT tells us that we can know all these nuts claiming to be God are NOT is because Jesus offers us a conselor (the Holy Spirit) to help us understand spiritual things when we truly accept Jesus as the sacrifice for our sin and decide to follow him. There is no need for a temporal god on earth because each believer has God inside of them if they choose to listen. The third person of the trinity of God is often ignored by the secular world because, well, it's completely spiritual. God is very real, the Bible is the best thing we have to learn about God, and it takes spiritual sight to understand some of the mysteries, and some of those myteries we may never understand in this world because it's too much for us.
Posted by Amy  in  Knoxville, Tn  on  Thu Jun 10, 2004  at  04:03 AM
Gee, this one took a whole 2 seconds of thought.
Didn't anyone else notice this guy looks 100%, absolutely, totally and completely, NOT like jesus?

Sorry to burst the bubbles of the so called "good christians" but jesus was born/raised in an area of the world where people have a much darker skin color. Since the soldiers needed someone to "point him out" it means jesus didnt stand out in a crowd or he would have been easy to spot.

That basically means, jesus wasnt white. At least no where near as white as all the paintings, pictures, and other crap that people pass around that's supposed to look like/be jesus.
Posted by Ceadda  in  Indiana  on  Tue Jun 22, 2004  at  10:11 AM
GEOFF- All you are doing is repeating standard conservative Christian theology. Where's the evidence? See my post on June 2nd here & check the info & links out.
Also, saying that 'Jesus' is not God, but the Son of God answers nothing. Traditional Trinitarians believe both- definition & evidence for your view?
Posted by Harry  in  New England, USA  on  Tue Jun 22, 2004  at  02:13 PM
PART 1 of 2:
About AMY's comments: Thanks for the concern, but you miss it on a few levels:
1) If you think that "If Claim[ed] that" my research "definitely explain[s] God, world, and how it all works", then " [you'd] worry that [I was] starting to cross the line to join the nut cases claiming deity", then you just labeled many of the Bible writers as either crossing or at nut case-hood! Just because you believe them to be the only ones to give divine scripture as the Christian Bible, or they have been accepted by so-called 'orthodoxy', doesn't prove it.
2) Where did you get that far-fetched idea? I never even hinted at that! This is how far off I have seen Christians go when they come across objections, or people who have left the fold. You should deal with what I said, not what your imagination can come up with which I never said/hinted/thought. That would be more honest.
3) There are Christians, Jews, and others who would assert THEY have divine revelation on those issues, not I.
4) The Christian Bible is far from being "definitely" shown as inspired by a perfect deity! You should check out the links I gave on June 2, and do an honest & open minded/hearted search through what my story has, and what others have written on the Christian Bible:
http://profiles.yahoo.com/biblebelievernomore
That has a link to my deconversion story located on another site, and other links.
http://www.infidels.org/index.shtml
Go through this link topically, a search on defenders of Christianity, etc.
Also, please read Tim Callahan's "Bible Prophecy: Failure or Fulfillment?" Not perfect, but many good points.
5) I plainly said that I used to be a born again Christian but left after seeing that the case for the NT Jesus fail & I went into a little detail. If you read that, checked out my Yahoo profile link & checked it out and believed what I myself said, you would know that when I did my studies, I WAS a born again Christian and did not start my studies "skeptically and without the Holy Spirit", as you said. Again, you went off of what I said and really didn't deal with what *I* said. I believed in 'Jesus' and the alleged physical resurrection of the NT Jesus. Romans 10:9-10 says that qualified me to be a Christian, and therefore I, according to your own NT in Rom. 8:9, HAD 'the Holy Spirit'. I wanted to check out what Jewish & other sources said about the Christian Bible and wanted to believe. I had NO intentions of leaving, but wanted to know truth.
Sorry, but you are off here.
More next post.
Posted by Harry  in  New England, USA  on  Tue Jun 22, 2004  at  02:31 PM
PART 2-
More about AMY's comments:
6) The mindset you have is a danger of conservative Bible belief. Just because someone doesn't agree and convert to your version of Christianity, they are ipso facto at a disadvantage. They are blind, they can't understand, etc., which clearly is not true. It closes any converts' mind and heart to really take an HONEST look at objectives.
'Born again' Protestants, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and others can and have used the same as you, and it is a quick cover to keep converts in the fold.
It is intellectually dangerous and inherently dishonest. People are people. Some can understand the Bible more than others, no matter what they believe or don't about converting to your brand of the Only True Faith.
One of the things I can understand best is the Christian Bible.
7) I never said I left bornagainism over someone giving me pain, but because of what I found in the Christian Bible. The pain was from the failure of the Christian Bible as a divinely inspired and infallible collection of documents that I could trust on its collective Jesus being the messiah and its accounts from the trial(s), crucifixion/death, resurrection and ascension of its Jesus.
Why didn't you deal directly with what I shared? Why did you just state some outlandish comment about knowing "all", etc., when that is far from what I shared, far from what happened, far from what I claim?
Since your name isn't a link to your account, I also assume you just commented and left with no desire to read a reply from me or others. This isn't the first time professing Christians have read my words which clearly stated that I left over my studies in the Christian Bible, not hurt feelings, etc., but they were blind to what I said.
Not too much confidence of divine enlightenment when they will not or cannot read simple English and answer what is there without wanting, needing, whatever, to label people as they wish instead of how they are.
Please read what I say and understand what I wrote, especially when it is clearly before you.
I apprereciate the concern in your words, but it is misplaced and unfounded.
Posted by Harry  in  New England, USA  on  Tue Jun 22, 2004  at  02:35 PM
Do you also believe in Santa Claus?
Posted by Gabriel  in  Portugal  on  Sun Jun 27, 2004  at  01:07 AM
Actually, he looks a lot like Dennis Miller.Also like a friend of mine who works at a local auto repair shop and whom I'm reasonably sure is NOT Jesus.
Posted by Dave E  on  Sat Jul 10, 2004  at  07:36 AM
OK, I'm a Christian, so obviously I have no doubt in my mind that this person is NOT Jesus Christ. It suprises me that A] People beleive lies like this, and B] People are stupid enough to claim that they come anywhere close to being anything like Jesus Christ. I agree with several other people; Despite popular belief, Jesus Christ was NOT white, and He did NOT have long hair. He was born and raised in a part of the world where he would have had darker skin [not black, but not white either, which I find very interesting]. I had never thought about people like Jesus and Moses having darker skin, because you'll notice, Bible characters are portrayed with white skin a lot of the time. Jesus also did not have long hair, in fact, one of His disciples, Paul to be exact, preached against men having long hair. If Jesus had had long hair, why would Paul have preached against it? Plus, Jesus is not GOd Himself, but He is a part of him [The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost]. God in three persons. So, it would be literally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and technically impossible for this man to be the Son of God.
Posted by Lindsey  in  Olahoma City  on  Sat Jul 17, 2004  at  04:00 PM
I checked this guys story out after receiving his "not spam" emails for awhile, according to the Wayback machine he really did work as a Silicon Valley CEO and his company was actually once touted as a soon to be Microsoft of Unix, he was a verifiable genius, or more likely idiot savant. Apparantly TJCG, aka Ted Kurtz, flipped out and simply walked away from everything. His former company is still in business but makes no mention or association with him whatsoever, except to pity his condition whenever the press asks about his whereabouts. This guy is a genuine nut and not the fake kind, and I do think he takes himself very seriously.
Posted by NewsHax  in  San Diego  on  Sun Jul 18, 2004  at  04:12 PM
i followed the link and it took me to network solutions,not ted j.c. aka god.
but if this guy claims to be j.c. and you guys are discussing the possibilty, "idont see a difference , do you see a difference", youll all end up on the same ward folks.
Posted by f tootle  on  Wed Jul 28, 2004  at  04:02 AM
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