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Suicidal Chicken
I've posted before about dogs who commit suicide, so when I saw this story about a chicken who committed suicide I thought I better add it to the site:The man's son said that the chicken probably decided to kill itself being unable to lead the horrible life in the provincial village. The chicken is a vulnerable and sensitive bird that might not have the energy to handle stressful situations. Most likely, the Russian suicidal chicken has lost the will to live. The poor bird was not left hanging on the fence: it was cooked and eaten.
Maybe I'll have to start a new category for suicidal animals.
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
Haaaaaa!!!! When I was younger, I had a gerbile that made 3 attempts to kill itself....We eventually took it to the vet to put it to sleep....
1st. attempt: It managed to get out of cage only to jump in a glass of soda. My mother found it treding the soda and saved it.
2nd attempt: Tried to hang itself by jumping off the back of a dresser and it's head got stuck. We found it by looking under the dresser and seeing the tail dangling.
3rd attempt: It got stuck in the mouse trap. It broke it's back...We took to vet to have laid to rest.
Posted by X in McKinney, TX on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 09:06 AM
1st. attempt: It managed to get out of cage only to jump in a glass of soda. My mother found it treding the soda and saved it.
2nd attempt: Tried to hang itself by jumping off the back of a dresser and it's head got stuck. We found it by looking under the dresser and seeing the tail dangling.
3rd attempt: It got stuck in the mouse trap. It broke it's back...We took to vet to have laid to rest.
Why does an accidental death of an animal qualify as suicide?
Posted by Wally in La La Land on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 10:39 AM
Because it must!!!
Posted by X in McKinney, TX on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 11:12 AM
I have a friend who has the worst luck with hamsters. Once committed suicide (which is apparently now the accepted term for animal death) by climbing into an electrical socket.
Posted by Nick in Merrie Olde Englande on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 12:30 PM
Then, what is so horrible about a fly's life when every time I'm in a car they commit suicide in droves?
Posted by Chadds Ford Prefect on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 03:16 PM
The stupid thing stuck is head in the fence and frigging chocked, end of story. When those birds are smart enough not to shit all around the floor all day, then we'll talk about them being able to feel stressful situations.
Posted by bs on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 04:06 PM
Stephen,
If the gerbil was treading "soda" when your mum found it then obviously it was trying to LIVE not die! Otherwise it would have just said, "What the hell, sunk to the bottom, and called it a day." Maybe you just had it out for the gerbil???
Posted by Mark-N-Isa in Midwest USA on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 06:00 PM
If the gerbil was treading "soda" when your mum found it then obviously it was trying to LIVE not die! Otherwise it would have just said, "What the hell, sunk to the bottom, and called it a day." Maybe you just had it out for the gerbil???
There's a difference between suicide and just being too dadgum stupid to live. Until somebody can convince me otherwise, all poultry deaths belong in the latter category.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas in Dallas, Texas, USA on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 06:04 PM
I saw horse lick an electric fence once.
Think that's self mutilation?
Posted by Reis on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 09:07 PM
Think that's self mutilation?
My cousin (7 yrs old) smashed himself into the wall and bruised / cut his head.
I wonder if that counts as suicide, but i was laughing too hard to think stuff like that.
Yup, he's a moron. he probably did that for attention anyways, but he didn't get any since I walked right by him. Stupid kids dont' deserve my time.
Posted by Mark on Fri Jun 03, 2005 at 09:51 PM
I wonder if that counts as suicide, but i was laughing too hard to think stuff like that.
Yup, he's a moron. he probably did that for attention anyways, but he didn't get any since I walked right by him. Stupid kids dont' deserve my time.
My Uncle claimed his chicken committed suicide, but I heard he choked it...
Posted by booch on Sat Jun 04, 2005 at 02:57 AM
When my mother's crazy cat was a kitten it got it's head stuck in the back staves of a kitchen chair one morning... luckily my mother was in the room to hear the cat crying, or else it would have choked to death in a manner similar to this "Suicidal Chicken."
IMO, I think the chicken was murdered, and this is just a crazy attempt to cover it up.
Posted by Katey on Sat Jun 04, 2005 at 08:45 AM
IMO, I think the chicken was murdered, and this is just a crazy attempt to cover it up.
If I were a chick-a-de-China, a Chinese chicken, I'd be bummed. Not enough to stuff my beak in a hole though. Also, if Law and Order's Lenny Briscoe were still alive, he'd check for scratch marks around the crime scene knot hole.
Posted by Chadds Ford Prefect on Sat Jun 04, 2005 at 09:17 AM
I've seen the same thing happen to a cormorant, which is a diving shorebird, similar to a duck. Like chickens, cormorants are nearly too stupid to live. This particular bird managed to get its head caught in a seam between the two reflective panels of a channel marker.
Pictures of cormorants:
http://www.saltgrassflats.com/birds/cormorant_dblcrested.html
Posted by sombrero11 in Cleveland, OH on Sat Jun 04, 2005 at 03:29 PM
Pictures of cormorants:
http://www.saltgrassflats.com/birds/cormorant_dblcrested.html
"The chicken was not left on the fence, it was cooked and eaten."
Hmm. I can just imagine that now. New at Spago's: Suicidal Chicken Teriaki
Posted by LesCorbusieurs in In Disneyland-your-missiles-here on Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 11:23 PM
Hmm. I can just imagine that now. New at Spago's: Suicidal Chicken Teriaki
fuck you all you deserve to die you pices of fucking shit ass hole
Posted by y on Tue May 16, 2006 at 11:46 PM
Unbelievable story.Articles must have some meaning. cut a chiken for a serve doesnt mean a suiside.
Posted by best Baked in london on Thu Jul 10, 2008 at 04:03 AM
This is just a self imaginiative story.
Posted by best Baked in london on Thu Jul 10, 2008 at 04:05 AM
Ya, me too heard of a accident come suicide of a pet, who's owner was sick and died and this dog also killed itself because of the absence of its master. We wonder how these dogs are so heart-breaking creatures.
Posted by hinduja on Tue Jul 15, 2008 at 01:11 AM
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