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Rent A German
As everyone knows, Germans are the life of the party wherever they go. So what better way to add some spice to your life than to Rent A German: "Imagine to appear with your German at parties, family events, or just hang out with them at the local shopping center. No matter, wich occasion you choose, you can surely impress your environment by presenting an original German." I have dual US-German citizenship, so I guess I could sign up to be rented out. However, I speak hardly any German, so people would probably think I wasn't authentic enough.
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Categories: Websites Posted by Alex on Thu Mar 17, 2005 |
Comments (26) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
How do you find these things Alex????
Posted by X in McKinney, TX on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 02:07 PM
Half German? Sounds like a parttime job to me for you.
Posted by Unfairly Balanced in Earth on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 02:24 PM
With a little practice, you'd be fine, Alex.
Repeat after me:
Ich mochte ein Bigfoot Beer, bitte...
Ein mehr, bitte...
Und wieder...
Oh ja, Ich sehe Bigfoot!
Posted by ein fan in south florida, naturlich on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 10:15 PM
Repeat after me:
Ich mochte ein Bigfoot Beer, bitte...
Ein mehr, bitte...
Und wieder...
Oh ja, Ich sehe Bigfoot!
Apparently for 750 Euros the Germans "will do their best to give you happy moments" for example "in the nature". Fortunately I have my own German, complete with marriage certificate, so it doesn`t cost me anything. ;0D
Posted by Pixie in Germany on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 11:00 PM
Alex Boese should change his name to Alex Bourgeoisie
Posted by John on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 01:42 PM
It would probably be easier for people to pronounce.
Posted by Alex in San Diego on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 05:17 PM
i'd rent you.
Posted by math in SAn Diego on Sun Mar 20, 2005 at 02:28 PM
I wonder if anyone would be interested in Rent-A-Texan? I have a cowboy hat I could wear for authenticity.
Have a feeling that after Bush's relection, there are plenty of people in the world who would like to get a good look at the strange breed to which I belong.
I could make chili and say yee-hah and support the death penalty for kids. Talk about life of the party.
Posted by Barghest on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 02:22 AM
Have a feeling that after Bush's relection, there are plenty of people in the world who would like to get a good look at the strange breed to which I belong.
I could make chili and say yee-hah and support the death penalty for kids. Talk about life of the party.
Stephen, I can't wait to read your response to this one.
This is gonna be GOOD.
HAhaHA!
Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 02:32 AM
This is gonna be GOOD.
HAhaHA!
I'm just plain scared about hiring a Texan...Actually, hiring a German doesn't sound all that brilliant either. 
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 02:47 AM
Oh no Smerk - I'd love to hire a Texan (they'd pay their own air fares, though) although I'd have to use the standard no-shooting-me clause in the contract.
Posted by Boo in The Land of the Haggii... on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 04:52 AM
Why, Boo, why???? I have enough trouble with the local blokes. Don't need to hire foreign ones!
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 07:26 AM
Yeah, but they could shoot people for me.
Posted by Boo in The Land of the Haggii... on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 08:02 AM
*sigh* Any Texans out there who want to go shoot people for Boo?
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 08:22 AM
Any takers at all? Actually, I suppose it's still a bit early for the Texans to come out...
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 08:34 AM
I warn you, though, my choices can tend to be rather arbitrary.
Bad shoes, being annoying, disagreeing with me...
all deserving of death.
So there.
Posted by Boo in The Land of the Haggii... on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 08:42 AM
Bad shoes, being annoying, disagreeing with me...
all deserving of death.
So there.
Alright, I just bought a new gun last month (SA XD9, delightful gun - my favorite) and I'm a Texan. I can shoot anybody you want except the mentally handicapped. Them I use lethal injection on. Oh, and I don't shoot cute girls unless they're really bitchy.
This should be good for a visit from the FBI.
Discaimer - I don't really shoot people. Get a sense of humor.
Posted by Charybdis in Hell on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 09:37 AM
This should be good for a visit from the FBI.
Discaimer - I don't really shoot people. Get a sense of humor.
Did someone say "Texans" and "Shoot"??? What needs to be shot. I haven't shot anything in 9 hours, unless a fly counts.
Posted by X in McKinney, TX on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 09:39 AM
>>>although I'd have to use the standard no-shooting-me clause in the contract.<<<
Ah, I forgot about that! I'll have to get a gun, or else no one will believe I'm really a Texan.
Hey, man, I'm not shooting anybody. This isn't supposed to be a cheap way to hire a hitman, it's supposed to be a party draw.
Besides, paying for airfare and buying a gun is going to be expensive enough, if I have to hire a lawyer too I won't make any profit at all...
Posted by Barghest on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 09:42 PM
Ah, I forgot about that! I'll have to get a gun, or else no one will believe I'm really a Texan.
Hey, man, I'm not shooting anybody. This isn't supposed to be a cheap way to hire a hitman, it's supposed to be a party draw.
Besides, paying for airfare and buying a gun is going to be expensive enough, if I have to hire a lawyer too I won't make any profit at all...
Yep, just got back from a night out shootin'. <font size=2>*cracks knuckels*</font> Jes let me know if'n I kin do sumptin else fer ye.
Posted by Charybdis in Hell on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 10:08 PM
Okay, guess there's your answer Boo!
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Fri Mar 25, 2005 at 02:26 AM
Hey, don't Austrailian's need to guns to? Ya know, to keep the dingoes from running off with all the babies.
Posted by Charybdis in Hell on Fri Mar 25, 2005 at 09:41 AM
I don't like Dingoes. I don't even know what tey look like.
Posted by X in McKinney, TX on Fri Mar 25, 2005 at 09:51 AM
Nope, sorry. Guns are outlawed here after a nasty little massacre in Tasmania. Still, doesn't stop people from obtaining & using them...me, I prefer a nice shiny 3 foot blade...
As for dingoes...they're a kind of wild dog, Stephen. Usually tan in colour and are notorious for running off with your babies if you leave them unattended at Ayers rock/Uluru (do some research on Lindy Chamberlain) They even made a movie of it - A Cry in the Dark.
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Sat Mar 26, 2005 at 04:46 AM
As for dingoes...they're a kind of wild dog, Stephen. Usually tan in colour and are notorious for running off with your babies if you leave them unattended at Ayers rock/Uluru (do some research on Lindy Chamberlain) They even made a movie of it - A Cry in the Dark.
>I wonder if anyone would be interested in Rent-A->Texan? I have a cowboy hat I could wear for >authenticity.
>Have a feeling that after Bush's relection, >there are plenty of people in the world who >would like to get a good look at the strange >breed to which I belong.
>I could make chili and say yee-hah and support >the death penalty for kids. Talk about life of >the party
look im a german texan
lived here most of my life
(ok yea germans party crazy an' i love it)
but still the sterotypical view of texas is way off
i am honestly offended by the stupidity of those around me
the country stero type aint right
ok if ya heard me talk youd laugh at my accent
but i could lick ya in a second
and i most likley smarter than you would think after looking at me
by the 2nd grade i was in all advanced courses
by the 5th i was on a high school level
by the 7th i was already accepted into MIT
by the time i was 14 i was a sophmore
by my junior year i was given a full scholarship to A&M, UT, MIT, and Rice
and a part scholarship to Harvord, Yale, UH,and UA
by my 2nd year in colage i owned 14 successfull companies
by my 4th year i developed multiple systems used by the US government
i find the sterotypical view of texas wrong
i do not support the death penelty for kids and i dont know anyone who does
i am a very religious person who supports my ethical belifs and works for them
i know im not in that sterotype
and few are
when i see someone with a license plate of texas
that says "yall guys"
i know they MUST not be from texas
nobody s attacked by indians
nobody drives a covered wagon
nobody rides a horse for common transportation
so until you yankees leard what your talkin about
just shut up
Posted by g. in tx on Thu Jan 12, 2006 at 07:33 PM
>Have a feeling that after Bush's relection, >there are plenty of people in the world who >would like to get a good look at the strange >breed to which I belong.
>I could make chili and say yee-hah and support >the death penalty for kids. Talk about life of >the party
look im a german texan
lived here most of my life
(ok yea germans party crazy an' i love it)
but still the sterotypical view of texas is way off
i am honestly offended by the stupidity of those around me
the country stero type aint right
ok if ya heard me talk youd laugh at my accent
but i could lick ya in a second
and i most likley smarter than you would think after looking at me
by the 2nd grade i was in all advanced courses
by the 5th i was on a high school level
by the 7th i was already accepted into MIT
by the time i was 14 i was a sophmore
by my junior year i was given a full scholarship to A&M, UT, MIT, and Rice
and a part scholarship to Harvord, Yale, UH,and UA
by my 2nd year in colage i owned 14 successfull companies
by my 4th year i developed multiple systems used by the US government
i find the sterotypical view of texas wrong
i do not support the death penelty for kids and i dont know anyone who does
i am a very religious person who supports my ethical belifs and works for them
i know im not in that sterotype
and few are
when i see someone with a license plate of texas
that says "yall guys"
i know they MUST not be from texas
nobody s attacked by indians
nobody drives a covered wagon
nobody rides a horse for common transportation
so until you yankees leard what your talkin about
just shut up
thank you, g. unit.
Posted by Anguirus on Sat Jun 17, 2006 at 11:27 PM
Comments: Page 1 of 1 pages