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Quick Links: Magic Goats, etc.

Murdered goat turns into man
Here's an original alibi: What I killed was a goat, Officer. Then that goat magically transformed into my brother. I'd like to see this excuse appear in an episode of CSI.

Man, 29, passes for toddler
Mark Coshever flew from Britain to Amsterdam using his two-year-old daughter's passport. Airline staff never noticed. He must have a babyface.

Fifth grader generates glass pieces from her head
"The phenomenon started when Sarita fainted one day after which she began to bleed from the forehead and a sliver of glass came out. However, the wound healed soon after that, leaving no scars." She's a sure bet at the school talent show.

Blind man claims Hitler paintings are fake
It's not the controversy I'm interested in as much as the idea of a blind art critic. He decided the pictures were fake by getting "somebody to write the signatures from the Jeffery’s paintings on a bit of paper, with my hand gently leaning over theirs."

Germany's Declaration of Surrender for sale
Chuck Loesch claims to have the first official declaration of Germany's surrender. And he's trying to sell it on eBay for $100,000. It's a teletype message that reads "Germany has just uncoditoinally surrendered." (Spelling mustn't have been their strong suit.) Just one problem. The message is dated April 28. Germany surrendered on May 7.
Categories: ArtBody ManipulationHistory
Posted by The Curator on Wed Sep 20, 2006
Alex said:

"Chuck Loesch claims to have the first official declaration of Germany's surrender.

"Just one problem. The message is dated April 28. Germany surrendered on May 7."

Well, that's what makes it the FIRST one and so special, silly.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  04:41 AM
"Mark Coshever flew from Britain to Amsterdam using his two-year-old daughter's passport. Airline staff never noticed. He must have a babyface."

My Mother-in-law did the same thing recently with an old expired passport. Staff are too busy hassling the non-white passengers to notice these things.
Posted by Killer Bob  in  London.  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  06:07 AM
Hasn't anyone else noticed that the stereotypes about airport security contradict each other. Either security is always harassing the non-white people, because they are such bigots, or white people are the only people they harass, because they are afraid to be called bigots. I guess it just depends on what happens in the news that day as to what people remember seeing at the airport. If an Arab muslim sneaks a knife in a book, then suddenly all anyone can remember is the little old white nun struggling through security. But if nothing happens that day as soon as an Arab has to take off his shoes it's profiling.
Posted by Lonewatchman  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  06:44 AM
Ah, but what people are failing to take into account is that, while May 7th was indeed the date of the unconditional surrender of Germany, April 28th was the historical occasion when they attempted their initial uncoditoinal surrender. That's when they all attempted to strip off their codpieces (as a sign of their shame and repentance) and surrender. The Allies were utterly horrified at the sight of several million codpieceless Germans wandering about, though, and so sent them back to try again. The Germans learned from their mistake and so made a more usual surrender on the 7th of May.
Posted by Accipiter  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  09:07 AM
Sounds like that fifth grader was in a car accident. Glass or other types of shrapnel (like pebbles--that's personally happened to me) can stay under the skin for years and then reappear as the skin naturally grows.
Posted by Iria  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  09:38 AM
So it's OK to kill goats in Nigeria?
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  in  Spring Hill, MA  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  04:13 PM
From the headline: "Nepal unearths new 'glass-growing' prodigy"

She's a "new" glass-growing prodigy? There have been previous glass-growing prodigies?!?!
Posted by Tah  in  Idaho (Yes, Idaho)  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  05:41 PM
Wow, some entertaining stories today. I'm partial to the Nigerian man killing a "goat." That is a great excuse! It's a wonder it's not used more often!

As for the glass-growing prodigy, I immediately thought the same thing as Iria. I mean, glass is made from the fusion of silica, so I don't really see this happening in the human body. I think an accident where the glass is embedded into the skin is much more likely.
Posted by Archibold  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  06:16 PM
"So it's OK to kill goats in Nigeria?"

Heck, yes, man, goats are dinner in Nigeria (and at some of my favorite restaurants in Texas, for that matter).

What's interesting is that that man's story would be taken seriously by a lot of Nigerians. I've done some work with Nigerians, and many of them do believe that some people (through black magic)can change themselves into animals and back again.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Mohair, Texas  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  06:34 PM
I just checked out the blind art critic link. OK, the guy is not an art critic as normally thought of, but still - how can he be sure that the person doing the writing he is verifying is not making something up just to embarrass this guy. And if you have trouble understanding that sentence, read how he verifys signatures in the linked story.

Now, murder is the unlawful killing of a human, so if it was a goat that he killed then no murder. However, a goat weighs what, thirty pounds or so (15 Kg)? The dead human weighed probably around 150 pounds ( 65-70 Kg) or so. So, when the now dead guy transformed into a goat, where did the extra weight go? Supermodels, take note this might be a good way to reduce.
Posted by Christopher Cole  in  Tucson, AZ  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  08:52 PM
"where did the extra weight go?"

It was in an e-scape-goat.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  09:39 PM
Oh, I love a bad joke and that was worthy of the classification. Cvirtue, keep it up and soon people will be throwing htings at you.
Posted by Christopher Cole  in  Tucson, AZ  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  09:47 PM
It is well known from internal accounts, that Admiral Doenitz sent several "feelers" out to the Western Allies after he succeeded Hitler, to try to arrange a surrender to the Western powers, only, while excluding the Russians. The German High Command, what was left of it, strongly hoped that the U.S. could get the Russians to "lighten-up" on post-war reparations, but mostly were just trying to save their own skins. I wish to speculate that if the teletype that Mr Loesch possesses is not entirely counterfeit, then it could possibly be an internal intellegence alert of a mere contact from a representative of the German High Command, that actually just hinted at unconditional surrender. There was tremendous confusion at the time. I can very easily imagine a hopeful intel officer firing off this message as soon as he suspected that it was true. Of course, the same message would not include his later admission of, 'Oh, well, they really didn't, yet." Most soldiers do not speak Diplomat.
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Wed Sep 20, 2006  at  10:56 PM
Stork:
Doenitz didn't succeed Hitler until after Hitler's death on April 30th; two days after the date on this teletype. Himmler did send peace feelers to the Western Allies before then, but Hitler found out about them, declared Himmler a traitor, and stripped him of his titles and rank. I don't think this document is about that though, as the idea was to make peace with the West, and continue the war against the USSR. That would not be "unconditional surrender," and is why the overture was rejected.
Posted by Frederick J. Barnett  in  Sorrento, LA  on  Thu Sep 21, 2006  at  09:52 AM
You're absolutely right. I failed to make the connection of the date being before Uncle Adolph's death. I also now remember reading about the Himmler affair. Doenitz was def not in the picture on 4/28. So, whoever fired this message off was thinking that Hitler was surrendering, which would have been unthinkable. Now it smacks of fake.
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Thu Sep 21, 2006  at  06:16 PM
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