Hoax Museum Archives
Hoax Museum Hall of Fame
|
Oregon townfolk see penises everywhere
My wife says this isn't a hoax so she doesn't think it belongs on MoH. She may be right, but it's just so damn wacky, I felt I should share it with you all.The city of Keizer, Oregon, a suburb of Oregon's capital, Salem, spent $20,000 to install some run-of-the-mill concrete pillars, designed to keep cars from killing pedestrians should drivers lose control and veer onto the sidewalk. So far, so good.
The trouble started when some unspecified people decided that the pillars looked too much like erect penises. I'll give you a moment to ponder that last sentence.
They want them removed or altered. The city is actually considering this, at additional expense to taxpayers, of course.
I'm thinking I can justify posting this to MoH by utilizing the "Mass Delusion" category, a MoH staple.
Giant penii invade Oregon town
Can you stand more about this subject?
More on the giant penii of Keizer
Posted By: Cranky Media Guy | Date: Fri Jul 06, 2007 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 32
Category: Mass Delusion
Category: Mass Delusion
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 >
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Posted by Freudian on Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 07:15 PM
I'd go with Freudian on this. They don't overtly resemble penises. Plus if they are saving lives on busy intersections then it really would be a complete waste of money to replace them.
Posted by Peter in Melbourne, Australia on Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 09:47 PM
I think they look like R2D2, personally.
Posted by fuzzfoot in potland, oregon on Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 11:43 PM
Peter said:
"Plus if they are saving lives on busy intersections then it really would be a complete waste of money to replace them."
According to the local news, the current plan is to either alter them so the local penis-obsessed aren't offended by them or replace them with less phallic-looking posts.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 12:03 AM
"Plus if they are saving lives on busy intersections then it really would be a complete waste of money to replace them."
According to the local news, the current plan is to either alter them so the local penis-obsessed aren't offended by them or replace them with less phallic-looking posts.
Cranky Media Guy said:
"According to the local news, the current plan is to either alter them so the local penis-obsessed aren't offended by them or replace them with less phallic-looking posts."
Yes, and if they do replace them the article says they will have wasted $20,000.
Posted by Peter in Melbourne, Australia on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 02:01 AM
"According to the local news, the current plan is to either alter them so the local penis-obsessed aren't offended by them or replace them with less phallic-looking posts."
Yes, and if they do replace them the article says they will have wasted $20,000.
Your wife was right; this isn't a "hoax" story, but everybody likes a large concrete penis story, just for the penis pluralization (as in "The Elvii showed their penii") if nothing else. No Pompei-style penii here, folks. Move on, go about your busineii
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 06:50 AM
These up-tight people in that town need to go back to sex education, or at least look at a wanker... I never even imagined they looked like a dick when I viewed the pic (hey, that rhymes). I think if the people that are complaining want them changed, tell them to get out THEIR checkbook!
Posted by Christopher in Joplin, Missouri on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 07:28 AM
Come on, we've had pillars like that in D.C. for years. A cigar indeed.
Posted by luckygerbils on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 08:27 AM
Just keep these folks away from farms and grain silos!!
Posted by StevenRowe on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 08:58 AM
Oh jeez-louise.
We have these things all over the cities here. I never once even thought to consider it looked like a penis.
Now, I have seen some smaller ones, that are a concrete pillar, surrounded by plastic, and then given a plastic cap - the place there the plastic pole meets the cap, has a large plastic band around it to hold them together. THOSE look more like penii. But not even by that much.
These people are nuts. (heh.)
Posted by Maegan in Tampa, FL - USA on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 09:45 AM
We have these things all over the cities here. I never once even thought to consider it looked like a penis.
Now, I have seen some smaller ones, that are a concrete pillar, surrounded by plastic, and then given a plastic cap - the place there the plastic pole meets the cap, has a large plastic band around it to hold them together. THOSE look more like penii. But not even by that much.
These people are nuts. (heh.)
Sounds to me like there are a lot of frustrated people in that town.
Actually, the hoax isn't the pillars, but the claim that they look like penii.
Posted by Christopher Cole in Tucson, AZ on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 10:00 AM
Actually, the hoax isn't the pillars, but the claim that they look like penii.
What the townspeople really ought to do is make up a lot of photos of the pillars, put them on postcards, T-shirts, refrigerator magnets, etc. and sell them on the Web. Perhaps a contest for a caption or slogan should be included. The money earned would first go to replacing the pillars, with luck leaving a useful surplus. This shouldn't be seen as an embarrassment but as an opportunity.
Posted by Phred22 on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Two questions:
1. Don't more or less all concrete pillars look a little like penises/penii?
2. What's wrong with that?
Too bad I don't live near Keizer, Oregon, or I'd get a can of flesh-colored paint and make them REALLY look like ...
Posted by Big Gary in Pharr, Texas on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 11:04 AM
1. Don't more or less all concrete pillars look a little like penises/penii?
2. What's wrong with that?
Too bad I don't live near Keizer, Oregon, or I'd get a can of flesh-colored paint and make them REALLY look like ...
oops, looks like some community members think that erecting these pilars may prove to be a fallacy.
Posted by Penis Power on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 11:05 AM
Then, of course, for AIDS Awareness Day, you could get some white trash bags and put condoms on all of 'em.
Posted by Big Gary in Gun Barrel City, Texas on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 11:06 AM
If not concrete, than perhaps: marble ("are those veins"?), or brass ("our knobs need polishing"), wood (no elucidation necessary), and my favorite, moss-encrusted, vine-covered Cast Iron, somewhat rusty, but still in service now and then. I'd also like to see some topiary pubery ("We Want: A Shrubbery"), neatly trimmed, thank you
Posted by Hairy Houdini on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 12:11 PM
The money it would cost to alter those pillars could be better spent on psychiatrist for those complaining, to help them get rid of their sexual obsession.
Posted by LaMa in Europe on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 03:23 PM
Maybe those doing the complaining are related to the Cardiff Giant, who is missing a penis according to rumor.
Posted by Christopher Cole in Tucson, AZ on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 03:45 PM
Any pillar object looks like a penis. Nelson's Column looks like a cock if yo look at it like a guy balancing a one-eyed admiral on the end of his one-eyed admiral.
If I lived remotely near that town I'g go over in the middle of the night and cement balls to the base. And stick big, massive condoms over the top if it's raining.
Posted by Renquist in Glasgow, Scotland on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 07:53 PM
If I lived remotely near that town I'g go over in the middle of the night and cement balls to the base. And stick big, massive condoms over the top if it's raining.
Oh puh-lease! It reminds me of a fuss a few years ago here in NZ when some people claimed that Coke bottles (yes, Coca-Cola bottles) resembled penii.
Posted by Dale Irwin in Waiheke Island, New Zealand on Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 10:07 PM
Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 >