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Virgin Sacrifice at Loch Ness
In just a few weeks, on the night of September 6th and 7th, a white-magic ritual will be performed on the banks of Loch Ness to call up Nessie. Performing the ritual will be Kevin Carlyon, High Priest of British White Witches. Now here's the interesting part. Should the ritual fail to achieve anything, Carlyon will then bait Nessie with an irresistible lure: a virgin adorned with vegetables and tied to a stake in the waters of Loch Ness. I certainly don't see how that could fail to get Nessie's attention. Carlyon is currently accepting applications for the role of the virgin bait. He specifies that whoever it is must be female (so I guess Marc can't apply), aged between 18-25, pretty, petite, a non-smoker, a non-drug-user, and in good shape. Carlyon reports that he's already received quite a few applications, including ones from a transvestite and a woman who wanted to know if she could bring her kid along (she must not have understood the 'virgin' part of the job requirement).
I personally find the timing of this event extremely frustrating. In September, as part of my long-planned European vacation, I'm going to be visiting Loch Ness, but I'll be arriving on the 10th... THREE DAYS after the virgin sacrifice. So it looks like I'll miss it. And it's too late to change the dates of my flight. The one time in my life I visit Loch Ness and I miss getting to see a virgin sacrifice by a few days. That's just my luck.
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Categories: Cryptozoology, Paranormal Posted by Alex on Sat Aug 21, 2004 |
Comments (11) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
I really wish people could be rational about things like this! Most folks think Nessie is female -- wouldn't a male virgin be a better idea? And why would anything shaped like a pleiosaur be interested in the physical-fitness of a human? Probably the plumpest virgin would be a better lure. Looks more like Nessie, better eating....
Posted by cvirtue on Sat Aug 21, 2004 at 10:21 PM
Rational?
To quote The Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."
Posted by Chellee in Dallas, Tx on Sat Aug 21, 2004 at 11:48 PM
To quote The Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."
This bit of news leaves me completely speechless. I mean, this is world class A bull at its finest. Shame on the retards that will take part of the event thinking it has a chance of working.
Posted by The Mexx on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 02:23 AM
lols!
Posted by Shah in Singapore on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 01:08 PM
white magic + virgin sacrifice = complete nonsense
Posted by Ariel on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 02:44 PM
Complete nonsense, but potentially amusing spectacle to observe.
Posted by Alex in San Diego on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 03:26 PM
Wouldn't Nessie rather has a REALLY big fish?
High Preist of the Britsh White Witches? Definately not Wiccan.
Posted by Brenda Layland in San Antonio, TX on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 04:24 PM
High Preist of the Britsh White Witches? Definately not Wiccan.
somehow and someway, this is the president's fault.
Posted by john in NH on Sun Aug 22, 2004 at 05:41 PM
"Adorned with vegetables" Ha!
I'm going to get caught goofing off if you don't stop putting stuff like this on here!
I love it, a virgin sacrifice adorned with vegetables...un-touched pot-roast.
Posted by Gee... on Tue Aug 24, 2004 at 03:36 PM
I'm going to get caught goofing off if you don't stop putting stuff like this on here!
I love it, a virgin sacrifice adorned with vegetables...un-touched pot-roast.
A virgin + lot of beer + some white magic = good time isn't it?
Posted by Alien on Tue Aug 24, 2004 at 04:23 PM
I think it's plain ridiculous. 
Posted by Shah in Singapore on Fri Aug 27, 2004 at 06:12 AM
Comments: Page 1 of 1 pages