The Museum of Hoaxes
hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive
 
Bizarre pictographs of Emmanuel Domenech, 1860
Bonsai Kittens, 2000
Cat that walked 3000 miles to find its owners, 1951
Sober Sue, the woman who never smiled, 1907
The disumbrationist art hoax, 1924
Tourist Guy 9/11 Hoax, Sep 2001
Mule elected G.O.P. committeeman, 1938
Paul Krassner's Stereophonic Hoax, 1960
Pierre Brassau, Monkey Artist, 1964
Actress who claimed she was kidnapped by puritans, 1950
Myexcusedabsence.com
Way back when -- almost four years ago -- I posted a brief entry about a doctor who was providing people with fake doctor notes. I titled the entry "Fake Doctor Notes," and soon, for some reason, that post became the number one result on google for the keywords "fake doctor notes." As a result, the comments began to fill with people asking me to provide them with fake notes. This went on for years. I'm sure the moderators remember it well. It only ended when we finally disabled commenting for that post, after the comments had grown to 46 pages and 911 comments in total.

I assumed that it would be illegal to actually provide people with fake doctor notes, but here's a site that's doing exactly that: myexcusedabsence.com. The site claims that, for only $24.95, it will provide you with a fake excuse saying that you've been at a doctor or a dentist's appointment, been to the emergency room, had jury duty, or been at a funeral. (I wonder who the note comes from in the case of a funeral? From the funeral director?) It looks like what you get for this money is a Word template formatted to look like an official note. For that amount of money, I think it would be a lot easier simply to create your own fake note in Word.

The site blatantly states that you can use these notes to get out of work or school, but then at the bottom of the page, in very small print, it says "For Entertainment Use Only." I'm guessing this is their legal cover for an otherwise shady operation.

Sunjournal.com has an article about a woman from New Jersey who tried to use an excuse provided by myexcusedabsence.com to explain why she failed to show up for traffic court. The court spotted the note as a fake, and is now considering filing contempt charges against her.
Categories: Business/Finance, Health/Medicine
Posted by The Curator on Thu May 31, 2007
Comments (21)
*sigh*

I just hope that whole saga doesn't start up again...
Posted by Nettie  in  Perth, Western Australia  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  08:29 AM
It better not start up again...
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  08:55 AM
I would assume that a funeral director would be the one to write a note in the case of a funeral. They issue (at least in Canada, anyway) the Certificate of Burial, which is often used in lieu of a death certificate. I don't know the legalities of it all, but funeral directors seem to hold a relatively significant position in terms of authority.
Posted by AqueousBoy  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  11:33 AM
Could you please excuse my absence today from the kitchen? I just don't feel like going in. Thanks.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  12:13 PM
Alex just wants to keep his mods on their toes. Too much slacking off lately, it seems. wink

I think his next post is going to be on these two
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  12:15 PM
I never did get my fake doctor note from Alex. Can I sue?
Posted by Captain Al  in  Vancouver Island, Canada  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  04:57 PM
Perhaps the funeral excuse note comes from the deceased?

"Please excuse little Billy from school March 20th to 27th, as I was changed into a vampire and was keeping him locked away in my crypt after he nodded off at my graveside service.

Yours truly,

Mrs. Betty Shlumpf, deceased"
Posted by Accipiter  on  Thu May 31, 2007  at  07:09 PM
Don't forget to edit the "for entertainment use only" before turning it in to your boss. That could land you in some real trouble. Then again, you may just get in trouble anyway if they find out you're LYING.. I'd just call in and use the old "car trouble" story... and I fixed it myself, of course *wink*.
Posted by Matt Foley  in  A van down by the river  on  Fri Jun 01, 2007  at  12:08 AM
Dear Sir or Madam could you read my book? It took me years to write, can take a look? If that's not possible, can you give me a note that exempts me from exemptions? Well... ex CUUUUUUUUse me... someone had to say it...
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Jun 01, 2007  at  05:06 PM
aw, crap... I left out the word: "you" in my above post... I seem to have a way of forgetting "you"... can I get a sick note for that?
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Jun 01, 2007  at  05:08 PM
I apologize for my two previous posts... I've been abroad for several months, but the clothes never fit right, so I'm back to being male. Ba dum pum. You're welcome
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Jun 01, 2007  at  05:11 PM
Now what good would it do to post a story about MYEXCUSEDABSENCE.COM without giving equal time to Marks Apology Note Generator:

http://www.karmafarm.com/formletter.html

That site is hilarious, even if only you click on the 'womens version'... Don't remember where it was I got this link from (had it forever), but it's still good. I checked it before I posted it.
Posted by Christopher  in  Joplin, Missouri  on  Sat Jun 02, 2007  at  02:36 AM
Hairy!! I'm so glad you're back!!
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Sat Jun 02, 2007  at  04:57 PM
Dear Evil Alex: can you please give me a note so I can be excused from reality for the next two years or so? I think I may have Morgellon's disease given to me by chemtrails that I saw while observing a chupacabra eat Bigfoot. I'd really appreciate it. BTW, are you gonna eat that pickle? I'll trade you a chinese killer banana for it. Oh, PS: I suggest we run our cars on flatulence. Mine would run perpetually, but the hose would get uncomfortable after awhile. I propose we place a large dome over The White House and collect the bad gasses being expulsed... Tony Snow would produce enough to keep us energy-independant well into 2009. Just a thought. Oh, send me that note by express mail would you? I'm in a bit of a hurry, because reality really, really bites. Thanks ever so much
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  11:10 AM
wow, this is really weird... I was afraid to use any other term for flatulence than "flatulence", or "bad gasses", just in the interest of decorum, but now I observe a "press the 'FART' button" advertising banner on this thread, so I guess it's okay to lose the decorum. Do they use more decorum in the Forum? Like, "le Phart"? Pardon my French, mon sewer
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  11:14 AM
when i was a small child, the strange people who called themselves "adults" used to refer to Farts as "Puts", with 2 Ts if you're a snob, as in: "Did you 'put' in your brother's face, or "who 'put-ted' in the pew"? It just kinda didn't work, because when you extrapolate the use of the word "put" into sentences like "Put that here", or "Put that down" or (my favorite) "Put 'er there, pal" it gets dicy. Thanks, and please hurry with that note. Put it in a ziplock bag would you, so it stays fresh. The letter, not the put, okay? Cool
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  11:24 AM
Hello to you Alex. I, Raoul, The Great Pleaser of Carnal Desires, am very much in need of a note from you, okay? Not the absence note of which you speak, but more so of the sincere regret tinged with piqued passion sort, you know? A note that speaks not to one, but to many, okay, like a big blanket note that many can share, exchanging knowing glances while the cool breeze soothes the throbbing temples note. Like that, but with much flavor and tempo, like a tarentella... Is it the fault of Raoul because he cannot be two places at the once? Well, that is not true... many times I have been busy at one places, but am thinking about the other place, who I will get to eventually, so you see the need for this note, okay? I am sorry, I am the rambler. Raoul has had too many cups from the demitasse set this morning, so there you are! Hah ha ha... Don't get dressed, I am only fooling of you! Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  01:45 PM
Okay, Raoul must be making sure no body gets the wrong ideas from my last postings, okay? I am not a Rambler, that fine vintage automobile of which I am so fond. A '65 Rambler Classic was my Ride of Choice before I received the '67 Plymouth Satellite which now serves Raoul well as the Chariot Of Fire. My Rosinante was revealed to me after a very exciting game of backgammon, for which Raoul won the sheshbesh move, and got the pink slip for Rosinante, and she wears it well... Hah ha ha, that is Raoul's Very Old Sunday Joke, but it is okay, because she has mud flaps too! Hah ha ha, I am sorry, you asked for that, you know? Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  02:01 PM
Okay, you know, I think that Raoul does not need this note any time soon, okay, so slow down, you rascal! Just put that anywhere, okay big guy? Take the load off your dog, buddy? What is the rush with you, you race car driver... life is fast enough without you getting the uproared panties and going off the end of the deep. Yow, and I thought that Raoul had too much rushings, you know? What a zipper you are... Hah ha ha, Raoul is pulling on the legs, okay? Not so fast, you know... Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sun Jun 03, 2007  at  02:13 PM
Quite Interesting !..
Posted by Roselin  in  Atlanta  on  Wed May 21, 2008  at  10:17 AM
Wow, this is really weird... I was afraid to use any other term for flatulence than "flatulence", or "bad gasses", just in the interest of decorum, but now I observe a "press the 'FART' button" advertising banner on this thread.
Posted by Mark waugh  in  Los Angeles, Californioa, CA 90036, United States.  on  Wed Jun 29, 2011  at  01:47 PM
Commenting is no longer available for this post.
All text Copyright © 2014 by Alex Boese, except where otherwise indicated. All rights reserved.