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Mineralarians
If you were to stumble randomly upon the Mineralarians website, you might actually think that this extreme diet cult was real. As the site explains: "The Mineralarians are an international association of people, diverse in other respects, who share the common determination to subsist on foods of mineral origin, thereby sparing our fellow beings the victimization that has been their lot, at our hands for the last million years, and before that at the claws and jaws of previously dominant species." I like the understated comment that you arrive at further down the page: "While there is no doubt of the wholesomeness of a mineralarian diet, the same cannot be said for its taste and texture." Of course, because you're EATING ROCKS! The site is a hoax website created by Charles Bennett. Here are two of his other creations:
- Institute of Holistic Computer Wellness: applying the principles of homeopathic medicine to computer repair.
- Minuteman Pizza: "delivering fresh hot pizza anywhere in the world in about 20 minutes."
(via BoingBoing)
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
Mineralarians reminds me of the time I stepped on a Teleport trap in NetHack, and got turned into a Rust Monster...
Oooh.. +3 Longsword... Tasty...
Posted by Bobcat on Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 02:37 AM
Oooh.. +3 Longsword... Tasty...
Er, Polymorph. It's late. *yawn*
Posted by Bobcat on Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 02:37 AM
I always wondered how people who are vegetarian because of their objection to eating living things could justify killing plants. Of course you could only eat fallen fruit, but even then you're taking it away from some animal(s) that would otherwise be fed by it.
Now it looks like the mineralarians are proposing a solution ... just eat dirt!
It reminds me very much of a mini-trend that some acquaintances of mine were involved in back in the 1980s. A guru (I think his name was Wiley Brooks) went around promoting "breathairianism." The breathairian philosophy held that food is actually a low-grade poison to the body, and that the healthiest people live on nothing but fresh air. Mr. Brooks claimed not to have eaten anything for years. For a fee, he would give you lessons on how to achieve great health and longevity by weaning yourself away from the bad habit of eating food. The whole thing was quite serious in the sense that more than a few people (including a few I knew personally) took Wiley Brooks at his word and paid substantial amounts for the classes in how to live on pure air. I'm not sure what he needed the money for, since he didn't seem to have a permanent address and ostensibly never bought groceries. The movement sort of broke down after Mr. Brooks's assistant claimed she caught him eating a sandwich. I wonder where he is now. Sic transit gloria mundi.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas, Texas on Wed Aug 25, 2004 at 08:13 PM
Now it looks like the mineralarians are proposing a solution ... just eat dirt!
It reminds me very much of a mini-trend that some acquaintances of mine were involved in back in the 1980s. A guru (I think his name was Wiley Brooks) went around promoting "breathairianism." The breathairian philosophy held that food is actually a low-grade poison to the body, and that the healthiest people live on nothing but fresh air. Mr. Brooks claimed not to have eaten anything for years. For a fee, he would give you lessons on how to achieve great health and longevity by weaning yourself away from the bad habit of eating food. The whole thing was quite serious in the sense that more than a few people (including a few I knew personally) took Wiley Brooks at his word and paid substantial amounts for the classes in how to live on pure air. I'm not sure what he needed the money for, since he didn't seem to have a permanent address and ostensibly never bought groceries. The movement sort of broke down after Mr. Brooks's assistant claimed she caught him eating a sandwich. I wonder where he is now. Sic transit gloria mundi.
Minerals in food do originally come from rocks that are broken down into soil. LOL
Posted by john in NH on Thu Aug 26, 2004 at 01:27 PM
If it helps, remember that Vaseline, which is a petroleum derivative, was originally marketed as a food supplement -- take a tablespoon a day for easy digestion. It sold fairly well.
Posted by Jonathan Golan in Jerusalem on Mon Aug 30, 2004 at 12:03 PM
In regards to "Big Gary C" and his comment on Wednesday August 25 2004 @4:13pm
I was a practicing Breatharian...would You care to ask Me any Questions about my experiences which were LIFE CHANGING.
It was one of the most wonderful experiences in my entire Life.
It is only just a sort of permanent Fasting. And One does get very "high" on Love/God/Energy which is all the same thing...(and is legal) Mr Brook's never said He did not eat. He admitted to his eating fruit, etc. The story You are repeating is only rumor. I heard it myself in the year 2000. Mr Wiley was not a guru, nor did He seek publicity. People sought Him out as his obscure way of living and his excellant health were noticed. People wanted to have the same vital energy which He obviously possessed. Mr Brooks wrote a book published in November 1982 entitled "BREATHARIANISM...BREATH AND LIVE FOREVER" The Healthy Diet for Eternal Beauty.
If You are going to critique a thing...You should know something about it.
Phyl Tubbs
Posted by Tallahassee Lassee in Tallahassee, Florida on Sun Sep 19, 2004 at 10:58 PM
I was a practicing Breatharian...would You care to ask Me any Questions about my experiences which were LIFE CHANGING.
It was one of the most wonderful experiences in my entire Life.
It is only just a sort of permanent Fasting. And One does get very "high" on Love/God/Energy which is all the same thing...(and is legal) Mr Brook's never said He did not eat. He admitted to his eating fruit, etc. The story You are repeating is only rumor. I heard it myself in the year 2000. Mr Wiley was not a guru, nor did He seek publicity. People sought Him out as his obscure way of living and his excellant health were noticed. People wanted to have the same vital energy which He obviously possessed. Mr Brooks wrote a book published in November 1982 entitled "BREATHARIANISM...BREATH AND LIVE FOREVER" The Healthy Diet for Eternal Beauty.
If You are going to critique a thing...You should know something about it.
Phyl Tubbs
A friend of mine's brother actually wrote a book on eating clay, which is kind of like eating dirt. He's actually pretty serious about it. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0892817755/qid=1106182591/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-0269883-9154261?v=glance&s=books
Posted by Razela in Chicago, IL on Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 09:58 PM
If you would like to know more about breatharianism, inedia, non-eating, you may be interested in visiting this breatharian forum:
http://forum.breatharian.info
Posted by JMW in Poland, Poznan on Sat Jan 22, 2005 at 03:04 PM
http://forum.breatharian.info
My Mineralarians website was intended partly as a spoof and partly seriously. It is a spoof in the sense that it does not actually offer any Mineralarian food products for sale, and as far as I know there are no practicing mineralarians. On the other hand it is entirely true that one can subsist on foods of mineral origin, in other words on a diet of synthetic chemicals made from air, rocks, and water. Of course one cannot subsist by eating plain dirt, and the site does not say that. My serious purpose was to point out the contradiction between wanting to avoid cruelty and wanting to avoid unnatural things like synthetic chemicals.
Posted by Charles H. Bennett on Fri Jan 28, 2005 at 08:08 PM
well I think this is pretty stange thing to come across, I have seen people eating sand but mineral rocks?? very strange to me. And I would like to comment on the post by Big Gary C which eventually streeses my opinion on this. Killing a plant which has only 2 sense is not as bad as killing a chicken or bullock whihc has 5 senses and which could eventually feel the pain which is not a case with killing a plant.
thank you
Posted by PureAgeless on Thu May 08, 2008 at 02:15 AM
thank you
Well, I do know that growing up on a ranch that cattle crave minerals. You ought to see them run for it when it is put out. It is like they can smell the minerals and know they need them.
Posted by Consultant in external on Fri Jan 01, 2010 at 08:44 PM
Well how long realistically could anyone survive on minerals, air, rocks, clay etc. Each component of our diet contributes to essential nutrition our bodies need, whether it be amino acids, vitamins or minerals. I think this has to be a spoof!
Posted by ayurvedah1 on Mon Dec 06, 2010 at 12:28 PM
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