The Museum of Hoaxes
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Paul Krassner's Stereophonic Hoax, 1960
Brief History of Triple-Decker Buses
The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, 1959
The Olympic Underwear Relay, 1956
Tourist Guy 9/11 Hoax, Sep 2001
Van Gogh's ear exhibited, 1935
The Nobody For President Campaign, 1940 to Present
A black lion: real or fake?
The Cottingley Fairies, 1917
The Lovely Feejee Mermaid, 1842
Marauding Machete-Wielding Clowns
Status: Weird News (True)
Big Gary forwarded me this news story about a "machete-wielding gang in angry clown make-up" who have been attacking people in Washington State. The article notes that the group call themselves "juggalos" and often shout "Woo, woo, juggalo!" to each other as they attack victims. The article concludes by noting: "Juggalos often dress in black and wear clown face paint."

Big Gary wonders: "Does Seattle really have a subculture of people who call themselves 'Juggalos,' dress in black, wear 'angry clown' face paint, and carry machetes? And if so, how do I join?"

Yes, Gary. There is such a subculture of Juggalos. But please, as a favor to me, reconsider your decision to join them. It really tears me up inside every time a Museum-of-Hoaxer succumbs to the dark side and ends up prowling the streets as an angry, machete-wielding clown. I've seen it happen far too often!

As for these Juggalos. They're fans of the musical group Insane Clown Posse. Though as the site whatisajuggalo.com explains, they go beyond merely being fans:
Many people often believe that Juggalos & Juggalettes are just another name for fans of Insane Clown Posse. Being a Juggalo is much more than liking the music; it is a way of life. A fan is someone who only likes the music either because it's the fad right now, or because they want to conform. Fans don't see the true message of the music, just the outer layer. Fans are quick to forget you as soon as the next big sensation comes along. They also will hound ICP for autographs and see them only as big famous stars. A Juggalo is one who lives their life by the hatchet. In other words, they believe in the true meaning behind ICP's songs try to live by J and Shaggy's preachings. Juggalos are down with the clown for life, and will never turn their back on ICP because they are said to be "uncool." ... They are dedicated to Psychopathic forever.
For what it's worth, my advice if you see a machete-wielding clown approaching you in a dark park at night: run the other way as fast as you can.
Categories: Law/Police/Crime
Posted by The Curator on Fri Jul 14, 2006
Comments (31)
Well, he/she doesn't necesarily have to wield a machete to make me run...
Posted by LaMa  in  Europe  on  Fri Jul 14, 2006  at  04:24 PM
Reason 5816 why the Insane Clown Posse are the dumbest group ever.
Posted by Paul  on  Fri Jul 14, 2006  at  06:09 PM
I wonder if they're fans of Killer Clowns from Outter Space.

Still, that's some freaky stuff.
Posted by Soldant  on  Fri Jul 14, 2006  at  08:00 PM
When you run - make sure you do not scream. It gives away your position!
Posted by thephrog  on  Fri Jul 14, 2006  at  08:23 PM
"... police in the City of Lakewood said they are searching for another eight to 10 suspects who took part."

You'd think they would be fairly easy to spot.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Round Rock, Texas  on  Fri Jul 14, 2006  at  08:45 PM
I
Posted by Unfairly Balanced  in  Earth  on  Sat Jul 15, 2006  at  05:58 AM
Wow...are little website seems to be getting alot of Press,... ok my name is John AKA JuggaloJohn and im one of the people who helped make that site, You need to Go read the whole site, that was really just one person feelings on the subject of that being a juggalo is. secondly, about those assholes that where attacking people in a park, trust me, I want to Kick the shit out to them, they where just a few stupid people that are make the rest of us, for the most part normally peaceful (unless Push to violence, we will defend ourselves, Strongly) look like a bunch of assholes. this is more a case of Showing that bad apples and not the rest of us that are ok.
Posted by JuggaloJohn  in  Beaver Pa  on  Sat Jul 15, 2006  at  11:34 PM
I hate people who do that, they make us look bad (yes *gasp* blood is a juggalette) we don't wear clown makeup 24/7 and people who do walk around killing people are idiots

yes the music talks about serial killers, but everyone knows the artists arn't mass murders, for those who take it seriously, they need to be shot

they make the whole family look like we hide in the shadows and eat people alive... idiots!
Posted by Blood For Nothing  in  Somewhere in the Arctic  on  Sun Jul 16, 2006  at  06:33 PM
yes the music talks about serial killers, but everyone knows the artists arn't mass murders, for those who take it seriously, they need to be shot

LOL
Posted by Boo  in  The Land of the Haggii...  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  06:31 AM
Let me guess, you always kill them before you eat them, right? cheese
Posted by Lounge Lizard  in  El Paso, Tx  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  02:54 PM
By that standard, L.L., I've always been a cereal killer. I can't stand eating cereal that's still alive.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Post, Texas  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  11:02 PM
oh my fuckin god, 1 retards its a hatchet. 2 we arnt mass murderers we just fuckin know what icp is sayin in there songs others say theres no fuckin way thats what that song means, we bealeve in the preachins of all the juggalo singers and it makes sence. juggalo *woo woo*
Posted by austin  in  dark carival  on  Thu Nov 02, 2006  at  10:20 PM
The blatent ignorance of this article is an appauling miscarriage of truth. Chock full of baseless assumptions and logical fallacy, it's rather typical rhetoric of those who look in on the Juggalo culture and jump up and say they know what it is all about. I'm a lifelong Juggalo, Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force, and working on my Political Science degree -- quite a far cry from the categorization above, eh?

Bottom line -- do your research. Thank you.
Posted by Sarge  in  South Korea  on  Sat Nov 04, 2006  at  08:13 PM
wow ur fuckin smart below me i couldent read half of what u said but i agree
Posted by aj  on  Sat Nov 04, 2006  at  08:15 PM
Haha, it's alright. Pretty much I told the author that he has no clue what he's talking about. He's pretty much looking at a small group of ninjas and saying "oh, well this is what all Juggalos are about." In reality, he has no clue...
Posted by Sarge  on  Sat Nov 04, 2006  at  08:18 PM
ya now i know what hes talkin about ha ha ha so fuckin true
Posted by aj  on  Sat Nov 04, 2006  at  08:20 PM
im a juggalo. and iv never been arrested and i sure the hell dont kill people so quit talking about something you know nothing about and the people who did those attacks arent true los or lettes. oh and to the other ninjas who wrote the comments mmfcl ninjas.
Posted by daniel deeter/ sly the wickid  in  stockton/ california  on  Wed Nov 29, 2006  at  11:17 PM
if you believe that the wicked clownz are cerial killas than get ur head out ur but and realize its just music and some juggalos and juggalettes are very serious about there passion for hatchet throwing faygo drinkn clowns JUGGALO FOR LIFE If you dont like it dont listen we dont whine about your easy listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by DANIEL  on  Sat Feb 17, 2007  at  06:42 PM
im a juggalo from b-more maryland and all it is that are music attracts some very simple minded peopl yes i were clown paint dark cloths but the rest of us are taken a bad rep for thin thing and i admit were not perfect citizens but who in to days society isnt
Posted by will  on  Sat Feb 24, 2007  at  12:38 AM
Exactly Sarge, they really shouldn't judge us from stereotype bullshit they hear from ignorant fools. It pisses me off the way they say they know us! They don't know a thing man, as Violent J says, being a juggalo is about being yourself! We're all our own person (at least some of us who aren't posing) there isn't a certain way a juggalo is supposed to be! Another thing that makes me mad is the way they call us a gang. I mean what the hell? It's a family! It's not a damn gang! Such hypocrites, what happened to not judging someone by who they are? Seriously.. Well, if any juggalos/lettes wanna hit me up message me on msn at *************@msn.com, or email *************@yahoo.com, lol or just check out my myspace, the user name is trevor_tnt, peace!
Posted by TnT Trevor  in  Tucson, Arizona  on  Sun Apr 01, 2007  at  05:02 AM
why don't you worry about people in gangs, not people who are just being family.
Posted by shawna  on  Tue May 15, 2007  at  11:47 PM
now if i saw a machete-wielding clown aproach me in a dark park at night i would be like "whoop whoop! what up homie!?!?!" cuz i am a juggalette the female equvilant of a juggalo MMFWCL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by erica mccomas  in  jacksonville,florida  on  Wed May 23, 2007  at  07:06 PM
juggalos and juggalettes dont go around just killing people.
and its hatchets not machetes!
if your gonna talk shit atleast get it right and kno what your talkin bout.
that fuckin author has no goddamn clue what the fuck hes talkin about.
we only swing our hatchets when we need to defend ourselves or another wicked clown.
so yeah ftfo
Posted by Skitzz_ya only baby lette_  in  hinesville georgia  on  Sat Sep 15, 2007  at  11:28 AM
yo. these people who post this are making juggalettes and juggalos look bad. we dont go around killin people. and juss because its tells about killin in the song doesnt mean we do it. so seriously dnt make us look bad.
Posted by kyra.  in  no way  on  Sun Sep 23, 2007  at  01:11 AM
*WHOOP WHOOP* mmfcl!
Posted by kyra.  in  no way  on  Sun Sep 23, 2007  at  01:12 AM
we dont complain about you so dont diss us we can live our lives how ever we want. im a juggalette. and iv never been arrested and i sure the hell dont kill people so quit talking about something you know nothing about and the people who did those attacks are just juggahoes we dont act like that at all. i am a stgight a student but im also a juggalette. i go to hallowiked and i teach a ballet class for 5 to 7 year olds. we are not bad people you all are just very close-minded to any thing that is not the social norm.

i think it is best said it "homies"


"I never knew that I could depend,
That I could have some friends, thats down to the very end
Well thats my homeboys excuse me, my family,
And when we conquer the world, we mackin' on the galaxy
Cause the skys the limit and we ain't finished,
And if my homies gonna ride than you know I'm with it."
MMFCL
crazy juggalette
Posted by crazy juggalette  on  Thu Jan 24, 2008  at  11:30 AM
wow dude i was just surfin the web and i came across this site and bein a juggalo myself i just feal the duty to respond as well as the rest of the fam on here MCL i have been arrested and i have been in plenty of fights and i dropped out of school and shit..never killed anybody tho..but none of this has to do with me bein a juggalo i just am who i am and as are all reall los and lettes who ever does some stupid ass shit JUST BECAUSE they claim to be a lo/lette is just retarted i hope all the people lookin in on us realize that
Posted by kilBuRn  in  boston mass  on  Sat May 03, 2008  at  02:28 AM
the people who wrote that are dumb thats not what were about killin people n shit im down till tha day i die and fuck anyone who dont like juggalos
whoop!whoop!
Posted by spex ninja  in  feddy washington  on  Mon Jan 12, 2009  at  09:31 PM
first off juggalo's/lettes arent what everybody puts them out to be. and my b/f is a juggalo and he isnt what everybody puts him out to be and he dosn't wear his face pain 24/7 he wears it to concerts like holowicked and shit like that and its not a matchet its a hatchet. and for all you people who like to talk shit about all the juggalo's/lettes why dont you walk up to one and say the shit to there face! add me on myspace its carebearbabii69
Posted by juggaletteLOVESherJUGGALO  in  ohio  on  Mon Jul 06, 2009  at  12:02 PM
first off juggalo's/lettes arent what everybody puts them out to be. and my b/f is a juggalo and he isnt what everybody puts him out to be and he dosn't wear his face pain 24/7 he wears it to concerts like holowicked and shit like that and its not a matchet its a hatchet. and for all you people who like to talk shit about all the juggalo's/lettes why dont you walk up to one and say the shit to there face!
Posted by juggaletteLOVESherJUGGALO  in  ohio  on  Mon Jul 06, 2009  at  12:03 PM
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