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‘Lickable’ Breyers Ad
Status: Hoax
You may feel that you need to scrub your eyeballs after seeing this supposed ad for Breyers ice cream, so if you click on the link don't say I didn't warn you. (The ad is disturbing for what it suggests, not for what it actually shows.) However, the ad definitely isn't real, which is obvious if you read the text on the right-hand side of it. I don't know who created it, but it wasn't Breyers. Unfortunately the image is now circulating around the internet in a reduced size that makes the text hard to read, leading some people to think that it might actually be a real ad.
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Categories: Advertising, Gross Posted by Alex on Tue May 02, 2006 |
Comments (74) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
Whoever believed that Breyers was going to "take this off the internet" is retarded. Here, let me pretend I OWN ALL THE SERVERS THAT MAKE UP THE INTERNET and just take whatever the hell I want off of it.
Let me take over Sweden while I'm at it. And France. I like France.
They have no control over what is out there. So stop being smug about them 'taking care of it'. They have no power whatsoever.
But in terms of the content, and the discussion that it created, I'm actually feeling a bit better about society. This discussion proved to me that there are a number of people out there that recognize that the pedo paranoia is ridiculous, and still believe in freedom. No, not America's faux freedom. Human freedom.
Posted by kid on Tue Aug 17, 2010 at 01:00 PM
Let me take over Sweden while I'm at it. And France. I like France.
They have no control over what is out there. So stop being smug about them 'taking care of it'. They have no power whatsoever.
But in terms of the content, and the discussion that it created, I'm actually feeling a bit better about society. This discussion proved to me that there are a number of people out there that recognize that the pedo paranoia is ridiculous, and still believe in freedom. No, not America's faux freedom. Human freedom.
i feel so fresh and so green i mean mean
enough with the spy plane crappage s'nothin new
look at adverts from the 20's shleppin hotdogs
niiice. whelp ya cant even shoot your verbal off
and let the primordial loose on this stuff
anymore consider the patriot act
and worse whan they mix it down in whats right
and tell you its right till you play
(seein as how not enough people are playing gotta
stick it in ya some how 3 knuckles deep (or is it)
could end up in your mailbox yeah s' getting old
shoulda been a (pair of college cheerleaders
1 holdin the other posin) too E.U. but what do i know about the proper camel toe to sell ice cream
i guess advertising should be anti constitutional
on the kiddies
but wait now the brats are throwin it all up
online like who cares
ruined my advertising career
im just not worthy.............
hey dont forget your number 2 pencil
to be placed/inserted in your eyeball at your earliest convenience at no extra charge
Consequences will never be the same..........
the ad was a little funny, but the responses are fucking hilarious. Sure, I'll admit it seems kind of sexual to me, but that's just because I'm a deeply twisted closet pervert. I find all sorts of shit arousing. Half my fetishes aren't even physically possible, the other half seem pretty innocuous unless you're into it. I will admit to finding innocence attractive, and I'm self aware enough to be able to comfortably say that this is tied in with all sorts of deep emotional issues. Sure, I'm not entirely right in the head but I'm just a harmless closet pervert who's never hurt anyone, so I'm comfortable with it.
But look at all you guys! "Oh how dare he sexualize an image of innocence?!" Ha! He didn't sexualize shit. It's still the same innocence it always was and you guys jumped the gun big time. You guys are talking about pedophilia, rape, and all sorts of stuff that was never even there. Luscious, smooth, sweet and fun. Lickable. Those five words, and a picture of a young female gymnast, were enough to take you straight to child rape.
Think that through in your head for a moment. Someone gave you a picture of some young girls having fun, and the smallest and vaguest level on innuendo, and the first place your minds went was the forceful assault upon an undeveloped child's very innocence. Let me repeat that. With only an innocent picture and a level of innuendo so small, vague and insignificant that it can hardly be said to be there, you went straight to the permanent scarring of a small child in ways from which she will most likely never recover and which will haunt her through the rest of her adult life, making it so she might never feel safe in the arms of a man again.
Let that sink in for a moment. I'm a twisted person who's had sexual fantasies that defy the realms of the imagination. Someone broken down by both great deals of repression as well as scarring relationships and inborn mental imbalances. Even I didn't come up with anything as deeply appalling as that.
Earlier someone accused a father of filming his daughters bathing simply because he got an involuntary boner upon seeing some young girls. Once again seriously? You were given a boner and you turned it into a permanently scarring case of abuse and betrayal of one of the most sacred trusts one can obtain in life. Are you genuinely unaware of how incredibly fucked up that is? Holy shit.
It's times like this that I think maybe my complete lack of faith in humanity isn't a manifestation of all the shit that's wrong with me, but genuine and warranted. I mean look at you guys. You're supposed to be the normal guys and yet you make me look tame.
Posted by gshadow on Sat Aug 28, 2010 at 06:53 PM
But look at all you guys! "Oh how dare he sexualize an image of innocence?!" Ha! He didn't sexualize shit. It's still the same innocence it always was and you guys jumped the gun big time. You guys are talking about pedophilia, rape, and all sorts of stuff that was never even there. Luscious, smooth, sweet and fun. Lickable. Those five words, and a picture of a young female gymnast, were enough to take you straight to child rape.
Think that through in your head for a moment. Someone gave you a picture of some young girls having fun, and the smallest and vaguest level on innuendo, and the first place your minds went was the forceful assault upon an undeveloped child's very innocence. Let me repeat that. With only an innocent picture and a level of innuendo so small, vague and insignificant that it can hardly be said to be there, you went straight to the permanent scarring of a small child in ways from which she will most likely never recover and which will haunt her through the rest of her adult life, making it so she might never feel safe in the arms of a man again.
Let that sink in for a moment. I'm a twisted person who's had sexual fantasies that defy the realms of the imagination. Someone broken down by both great deals of repression as well as scarring relationships and inborn mental imbalances. Even I didn't come up with anything as deeply appalling as that.
Earlier someone accused a father of filming his daughters bathing simply because he got an involuntary boner upon seeing some young girls. Once again seriously? You were given a boner and you turned it into a permanently scarring case of abuse and betrayal of one of the most sacred trusts one can obtain in life. Are you genuinely unaware of how incredibly fucked up that is? Holy shit.
It's times like this that I think maybe my complete lack of faith in humanity isn't a manifestation of all the shit that's wrong with me, but genuine and warranted. I mean look at you guys. You're supposed to be the normal guys and yet you make me look tame.
Wow, that site is crazy, i found this there.

Posted by Nicholas D. on Tue Sep 14, 2010 at 10:26 PM

Totally inappropriate and worthy of a lawsuit by the parents.
Posted by Robert in Texas on Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 09:23 PM
MABY YOU ARE THE SICK ONES for thinking mother nature's beautiful creation is SICK. These are only harmless model pictures where it seems the girls and their parents certainly wanted them to appear in. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Posted by lisa on Fri Dec 10, 2010 at 08:32 AM
THE KIDS ARE NOT BEING EXPLOITED because it is a harmless video or picture that you are looking at, that they and most likely their parents agreed for them to model in. SO QUIT THE B.S.
Posted by dom r in ontario canada on Sat Dec 11, 2010 at 02:55 PM
Most likely the kids who modeled in this picture are not being molested because its only a harmless picture of who they are. If you're so concerned about kids being molested WHY DON'T YOU go after all the HYPORITE pedophile single moms or other young women THAT ARE ALWAYS ABLE TO KEEP THOSE KIND OF SECRETS with a kid especially girls and that are released from jail in 2 weeks. And its actually legal for a pedo mom to breastfeed an 11 year old girl. LIKE I SAID F'ING HYPOCRITES!!!!
Posted by dom r in ontario canada on Sat Dec 11, 2010 at 03:02 PM
I believe this IS a sick, twisted poster, but it has real meaning behind it. It's an exaggeration of the media's steadily increasing sexualization of young girls. It's about the profit margins of advertising companies. It's about the relationship of sex to corporate profits. You don't need to look at parody ads to be disturbed by these trends: http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/283/12/1569.extract YUCK
Posted by Wonderstorm in the internet on Sat Dec 18, 2010 at 08:59 AM
A guy made that ad for sure.
He or whoever made it IS a pedaphile.
Bash him,slash him Nash him Kill him.
Hang him.For that fact KILL ALL MEN!!!!
Men are all pedophile--WAIT!!!!
All men in the world are pedophiles.
NO WAIT ,all living males of ANY species ,dogs cat rats bats knats are all pedophiles
LOOK OUT !,LOOK OUT !,LOOK OUT !
AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Hope i'm not a little over the top here.
Posted by Shelly in Pedophile paranoia land on Sun Mar 06, 2011 at 07:40 PM
He or whoever made it IS a pedaphile.
Bash him,slash him Nash him Kill him.
Hang him.For that fact KILL ALL MEN!!!!
Men are all pedophile--WAIT!!!!
All men in the world are pedophiles.
NO WAIT ,all living males of ANY species ,dogs cat rats bats knats are all pedophiles
LOOK OUT !,LOOK OUT !,LOOK OUT !
AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Hope i'm not a little over the top here.
Considering studies suggest that as many as 1 out of every 4 girls is raped or molested before the age of 18, I want to know where all the posters who call us "paranoid" are getting their info. A better chance of being hit by space shuttle? Are you kidding me? Stop making stuff up and pretending you-know-it-all. You sound like an idiot.
Posted by LowerNumbers on Fri Apr 29, 2011 at 05:34 PM
DNFTT. Basic rule of the internet... You all just broke it... Look at the "ad" from the view of the teenager out there some where that probably made it. He probably laughed his/her ass off, showed his/her friends who all laughed and decided to post it on the web so he/her and his/her friends could laugh at the world's reaction. You all got trolled.

Posted by Fitzy in CA on Mon May 02, 2011 at 04:30 PM

Jokes are always funnier when you analyze them.
Posted by Joe on Sat May 28, 2011 at 04:15 PM



