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'Solar Armor' freezes man in Nevada Desert, 1874
Paul Krassner's Stereophonic Hoax, 1960
Did Poe say 'The best things in life make you sweaty'?
Lord Gordon-Gordon, robber of the robber barons, 1871
Loch Ness Monster Hoaxes
Mencken's fake history of the bathtub, 1917
A black lion: real or fake?
‘Lickable’ Breyers Ad
Status: Hoax
You may feel that you need to scrub your eyeballs after seeing this supposed ad for Breyers ice cream, so if you click on the link don't say I didn't warn you. (The ad is disturbing for what it suggests, not for what it actually shows.) However, the ad definitely isn't real, which is obvious if you read the text on the right-hand side of it. I don't know who created it, but it wasn't Breyers. Unfortunately the image is now circulating around the internet in a reduced size that makes the text hard to read, leading some people to think that it might actually be a real ad.
Categories: Advertising, Gross
Posted by The Curator on Tue May 02, 2006
Comments (75)
What a sicko (whoever created the ad). At first glance, a normal person may not think twice about it - two cute girls bending over, what's the big deal (i have a daughter who does that all the time). I actually read the ad...the worst part is "...our young feminine gymnasts who are eagerly busting their fresh asses to make every American proud."

WTF? This guy (it has to be a guy I think) is obviously a pedo. Perhaps this was meant as one of the following:
1) Satire about our obsessive fear of pedofiles and child moesters
2) A parody for other pedofiles that was only meant for the underground
3) A malicous attempt by a pedo or otherwise demented person to mess with people's minds. Hey - it worked.
Posted by Seth Easton  in  Washington DC  on  Tue May 02, 2006  at  05:25 PM
Hey, if we all didn't have sick minds ourselves, we'd never see anything wrong with the ad.
Posted by Citizen Premier  in  spite of public outcry  on  Tue May 02, 2006  at  06:00 PM
What the Ad says:
Luscious, smooth, sweet and fun. These are just a few of the words we used to describe our new Vanilla Orange Sherbert Creamsicle. These words also aply equally to America's 2005 Olympic Rhythmic Gymnastics Team and the beautiful young ladies that comprise it. In responce, Breyers has created a flavour inspired by the sassy metallic orange leotards of our young feminine gymnists who are eagerly busting their fresh asses to make every American proud. And of course, our RSG themed Creamsicle is as fun to eat as the girls are a pleasure to watch! So come join in on the action. All proceeds to sales from the Vanilla Orange Sherbert Swirls line go to help sponsor our young ladies in competition against other rhythmic gymnists from around the world.

my interpetation:
I think this was just a joke... or a parody in general, nothing that was meant to harm other people or support child molestation. Its pretty harmless.. it's light hearted. Yeah, its really wrong, but its just for laughs I think.
Posted by Becca Bee  on  Tue May 02, 2006  at  11:17 PM
i'd tap that. and the kids aint bad either,
Posted by ziff  on  Wed May 03, 2006  at  07:05 AM
I'm with Seth in thinking it's a satire, but I think maybe it's commenting on the fact that we live in a pedophile obsessed/paranoid society, and yet we don't see anything at all suspicious about putting underage girls in leotards and having them do gymnastics in front of stadium crowds or on national TV. No, I don't think we should stop letting girls do gymnastics, but I do think maybe some people ought to think a little more about what messages and visuals they are sending to those pedophiles out there.
Posted by Fred  on  Wed May 03, 2006  at  02:26 PM
Fred, If we restrict innocent fun because of the vanishingly small percentage of pedophiles in society, we're hurting our society all out of proportion to the potential evil.

A picture like this is pushing the envelope, but gymnastics as a sport? You must be kidding.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Thu May 04, 2006  at  02:18 AM
Alex, the blog has removed the page about the spoof ad.
Posted by cvirtue  in  deleted  on  Thu May 04, 2006  at  02:19 AM
Hm, for myself I reckon it's just a bad-taste joke, intended to shock. Sure it could have satirical and/or political intent but my guess is it's nothing so sophisticated. Humourists (Andy Kaufland for example) have always delighted in breaking taboos, often in ways that cause deep offense to many; the creator of this is doing just that. Judging from the responses here most people are not ready to find it funny, but that's often the way. When you're testing the boundaries of what is acceptable it's easy enough to take a step too far. I very much doubt that the creator of this is a paedophile, though. That seems to me to be paranoia.
Posted by outeast  on  Thu May 04, 2006  at  03:25 AM
I can't see the ad. The popup is a blank page...

T.
Posted by DukeLeto  in  Bucharest  on  Thu May 04, 2006  at  09:05 PM
I remember SNL, or something similiar, doing a skit one time about "comedy killers". Their big one was cancer. Who would have ever guessed implicit pedophilia would be in such a catagory. I like Family Guy and South Park, but really, sometimes we need to be honest and just ask "what the hell kind of crap is that?".
Posted by Lonewatchman  on  Fri May 05, 2006  at  03:26 AM
Duke Leto, in my Maxthon browser, if I have clicked the little star icon down the bottom to make each page open separately, then the popup won't open. If I unclick it, no problems. Check it out. Maybe your browser has a similar feature...
Posted by AlexOv  in  Australia  on  Fri May 05, 2006  at  03:58 AM
LOL, this is a classic! What are you guys talking about?
Posted by Anonymous  in  Anonyland  on  Fri May 05, 2006  at  07:55 PM
yeah, it's a classic rolleyes

you should show it to your mother and say "hey ma, aint this classic?"
Posted by Chuck  in  Rhode Island  on  Tue May 09, 2006  at  02:39 PM
I'd do the one on the left 1st
Posted by Mr Raincoat  on  Fri Jun 02, 2006  at  07:05 PM
Nothing wrong with the satirical ad.

I think most people in America are obsessed with sex and youth and yet they can't see it for themselves.

Explain me this: why do we have Miss Universe and Miss World swimsuit contests? Because of the candidates' sex-appeal, obviously (and yet they're so damn boring to watch only women and gays probably watch those airheads parading on high heels).

So why do you people have all these 'beauty pageants' of young girls parading in sexy outfits and balancing on high heels? What's the purpose of pimping up a five-year old to make her look like a seventeen-year old?
Posted by Art  in  Holland  on  Sat Jul 15, 2006  at  01:47 PM
Pedophiles like kids the same way you like your girlfriends. The same. But its up to sick mind to decribe it as you wish.
Posted by RxTx  on  Tue Dec 26, 2006  at  10:06 AM
Didn't quite get it, at first; until I read the article, and noticed they aren't licking the ice cream from their fingers. I think the real question is If indeed the pictures are of real gymnasts, and not an almagam of pictures to give the impression of such, why would a photographer take pics like that, and why would the parents allow it?
Posted by A. B. Rother  in  Waco, Tx  on  Sun Feb 04, 2007  at  09:25 PM
I have a 10 year old niece in gymnastics. I've seen them do poses like this all the time during their warm-up exercises. More than likely this is what the original photo was of. Who knows if the names are even real, probably not. So the actual taking of the picture could have been completely innocent, just a couple young gymnasts doing their warm-up stretches before competition or practice. The question is WHY would someone put those words with that photo..and why target Breyer's? The answers to those questions will probably never be known. I just feel sorry for the girls, whose innocent fun was turned into something sick. Hope their classmates never see this.
As for the comment regarding gymnastics not being a sport.. trust me, these kids are athletes! My niece is only in her second season of competition and she works 9 hours a week at the gym doing VERY physically demanding routines. The older girls who are in the higher competition levels.. the stuff they can do amazes me. They have to have complete control over every muscle in their body at all times. Much harder if you ask me than just running into someone wearing a bunch of pads!
Posted by S. Edwards  in  Maryville, TN  on  Wed Feb 07, 2007  at  08:41 PM
When I first saw the so called ad, I thought it was for real but it didn't take me long to realise it wasn't.

Yes it's a parody.

It does give me a reason to point out something interesting. I've always wondered why we as a society think that sexualizing young people as wrong but then have female gymnast wearing leotards like that and I specifically said "female" because male gymnasts do not wear anything like that.

This is the same type of thing that we do in other sports and activities such as tennis, ice skating and even cheerleading. In each one of those, females could wear the same type of outfits males wear to compete or perform but they don't and most people expect girls to be wearing the "sexy" outfits.

I just wonder if maybe deep down inside almost all of us are pedophiles and use things like gymnastics as a way justify having young girls appear sexually attractive.
Posted by anonymous person  in  planet earth  on  Thu Mar 08, 2007  at  05:04 AM
Its a fun photo of two cute and innocent girls with their cute butts in the air. Get over it. If you imediately think its a sexy photo then you have a problem.

Whoever made up the words was fully aware of the completely unfounded paranoia that swirls around society these days like a freekin cancer, and he/she wanted to make people think a little more about that paranoia. We should all think about the damage that this paranoia is doing to our kids. They dont play outside anymore do they . . . . thats your fault, not theirs. Forget the pedos, theres more of a chance of them being hit by the space shuttle than being damaged for life by some weirdo.

The fact that its advertising a product of the USA told me straight away that it was fake. If it was made in Europe somewhere then I probably would have believed it and still thought it was cute, although the word arse was a little out of place.

If they used the word butts, I would have fallen for it. I think there should be more of this humor and conversation, but that wont happen will it.
Posted by Wayne  in  Ceduna, South Australia  on  Sat Mar 24, 2007  at  06:46 AM
wow, too many of you don't know an obvious photoshop joke when you see it.

created by a pedophile? highly doubtful.

created by a bored kid with a pirated version of photoshop? almost certainly.

kudos to the maker, thumbs down to the idiots who just won't get it.
Posted by tyler  in  earth  on  Tue Mar 27, 2007  at  07:03 PM
well, if it was a bored kid, that is one disturbed bored kid! And if u think that this is in any way funny or consider it a joke at all. Then sumthing is definitely wrong with you.

Whether it was created by a pedophile or not, it is wrong.
Posted by tony  in  earth  on  Mon Apr 02, 2007  at  03:46 AM
I found this to be absolutely hilarious, and the creator has gotta be laughing his fresh little ass off at anyone freaking out over it. I'm sure that was basically the intent - to make a satirical point about how people's definition of innocence tends to vary pretty heavily. I'm sure he (or she) wasn't a pedophile, but it's pretty funny how many people jump right to that conclusion. Lickable. God, that's good.
Posted by Oscar  in  mars  on  Wed Apr 04, 2007  at  07:16 PM
Haha, I laughed my butt off, thats for sure. Definitely the best photoshop I've ever seen, I totally believed it till I read the fresh ass part. Some people need to lighten up though, just because you can't appreciate a joke doesn't mean its not funny.
Posted by Taeo  on  Sat Apr 07, 2007  at  11:44 PM
There are a hundred ways to see that picture and a hundred more ways to respond to it. And there is an even bigger number of consequences in the end(no pun ).

I look at those photos and get an instant hard on. Why? Because I dont know those girls and it's only an image. The brain knows they aren't here and knows that it's safe to react normally. When a sexy girl bends over its normal for any guy to get instantly aroused by it. Pre-teen girls can come across sexy if they are dressed for it and posed right. Whether it's right or wrong to be displayed that way is another way of looking at it. Whether its right or wrong to be aroused by it is a bias either way because it's natural to be aroused by an image like that.

Just because the image gives me hard-on, does it mean I would make sexual advances towards a 10 year-old? NO. I have 2 daughters that are that young. Kids don't know any better. They know nothing of sex. They wear nothing and bend over all the time. What do I do about it? I turn away instantly because that's what you do. I know what my instincts are, they are to get aroused by sexual images. It's nothing personal unless you act upon it. Some people have emotional issues and a lot of confusion to make them have sex with young kids. But, that's their issue and not any man's who gets hard from the image. People who are closed minded, especially many religious people, are quick to live in denial over emotional and physiological factors that create arousal. Ultimately it leads to poor judgment that ruins a person's life unjustly. Like all the so-called sex offenders of which a large number of have been done wrong. I have a good friend who is labeled as a sex offender because he had sex with a 15 year old and she wanted it for quite some time. But she got pissed at him and claimed rape. This is a small town where everyone know everything but courts dont care.

It goes to show that many consequences in this world are forced upon us, just because someone else doesn't like the actions of others. If less people were biased it would become more apparent that as a young girl enters her puberty stage, around 12 or so I'm guessing, they become more sexually attractive to most men. That's human nature saying it's about time. But societal values that have been force fed to most mainstream thinkers state that the feelings of a young teen or any man are wrong and that they need emotional help and pills to stop those feelings. For anyone to give in to those fear tactics is a tragedy and a missed opportunity for love, sex, and production of life. No amount of money in this world is worth that kind of opportunity unless you are voluntarily biased, and content.

I believe in what nature says because no matter what anyone does to this world, be it destruction or the raping of the planet, nature doesn't change because it's been programmed with a complex force that we will never gain control of. We'll destroy life before that happens.
Posted by Geno  on  Sat Jun 09, 2007  at  03:23 AM
Geno, i don't know what the hell is wrong with you but i don't get an insant hard-on when i look at that picture.
i might if they were alot older, alot more developed, and attractive in anyway.
you call them girls. perhaps, but they are first children.

i pray for the safety of your two daughters, physically and mentally.
Posted by russell  in  america  on  Sun Jun 24, 2007  at  02:39 AM
You have two daughters..and you get an instant hard on when you see a pre-teen girl bending over?.....

YOU ARE A SICK SOB WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.....you have to be what atleast 30+ and gettin a boner by lookin at girls? holy crap somoene call 911...i bet this guy videotapes his daughters takin a bath
Posted by Raz  on  Tue Jul 17, 2007  at  12:25 AM
Posted by russell in america on Sat Jun 23, 2007
Posted by Raz on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 08:25 PM

YHBT Guys. Did you pay attention to the pic this weblog post is about?
Posted by Anonymous  in  The Internets  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  10:15 AM
Something smells like fish.
Posted by poop  on  Mon Sep 17, 2007  at  09:26 PM
I came across this ad while doing ad research. If I was 14 I may have felt aroused, but at twice that age I actually thought nothing of it. At least I thought nothing of it for a few hours then it started to grow like a cancer on my social conscious, at which point I was disturbed enough to find a better copy and show it to my wife to see if she felt as disturbed. In and of its self there is little wrong with the girls or the pose, the suggestion created by the text becomes disturbing. Perhaps, as some of you suggest, I was disturbed to begin with or pre disposed to find the girls attractive which caused my conscious to conflict with deep animal desires
Posted by Anonymous person of little consequence  on  Fri Nov 16, 2007  at  02:00 PM
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