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Jesus-Smelling Candles
Have you ever wanted to fill your home with the smell of Jesus? Now it's possible. A couple of Christian entrepreneurs have bottled the smell of Jesus and put it in a candle. They're selling these candles under the brand name "His Essence". So how do they know what Jesus smelled like? Simple. Psalm 45 mentions that when Christ returns his robes will be "fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia", so knowing a great marketing opportunity when they saw one, Bob and Karen Tosterud mixed up the scent of myrrh, aloe, and cassia and put it in a candle. I suppose next there will be His Essence perfume. His Essence deodorant. What about His Essence bathroom freshener?
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Categories: Religion Posted by Alex on Fri Mar 18, 2005 |
Comments (23) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
Hmmm. If Jesus had been alive today instead of 2,000 years ago, would the Bible read, "His wifebeater will be fragrant with Axe and Old Spice"? Myrrh's gone just a bit out of fashion, sadly...
Posted by Katherine on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 08:42 PM
Part 1
Actually, the Psalm doesn't mention Jesus and comes from a different era (as if you didn't know...). The author, melody, and original translation have long been forgotten. But no matter, christians are a gullible lot.
Speaking of which, I'm posting the main message (Part 2) of this here because I can't get the 'Contact' form to work.
Cheers.
Posted by jimmyjay on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 09:36 PM
Actually, the Psalm doesn't mention Jesus and comes from a different era (as if you didn't know...). The author, melody, and original translation have long been forgotten. But no matter, christians are a gullible lot.
Speaking of which, I'm posting the main message (Part 2) of this here because I can't get the 'Contact' form to work.
Cheers.
Part 2:
Pedro is the name of a mummy that was found near where I live. In this part of Wyoming we have long enjoyed the reactions from this myth. This article is currently the most accurate. The mummy itself is not a hoax. I became aware of it in the 70's when many adults had inspected it. The hoax is that Bibleland.com is currently making a profit (if only a mental one) by using it (as many have in the past) to their advantage. I live on the Shoshone Reservation and have grown up with the myths. Here are some of things that are in error variously, online. It's not "San Pedro the Mummy" nor the "Mountain Mummy". It's just the 'Pedro Mountains Mummy'. Here are the GPS coordinates for where it was found. This is in a high desert in the linear break bewteen the Southern (colorado) and central (the rest) rockies. To this day there is a sign in Shirley Basin signifying "Little Man Mine". The mine was registered with Carbon County but never produced. In error on the Bibleland site is the 'fact' that it had pubic hair (it did not). Also, the legend of the Little People (as local historians call the myth) killing their own is in fact an occasional truth of all the nomadic plains tribes who couldn't have their infirm interrupt their necessarily nomadic lifestyle. This fact has been transferred on to this mummy. Also, you will see quotes and stories mis-attributed to Dr. Gill, et al. as this story once again spreads as it did in the 70's. The mummy was examined at UW (I looked into this as a student there) and was found to be a diseased child (essentially a pinhead). Case closed and it then became a profit device. There are actually many mummy-cases like this and one would assume these human oddities would also occur in plains/prehistoric tribes (there's a similar mummy in the holdings of the Buffalo Bill center in Cody, WY - something Bibleland alludes to inexactly). It's really not that freaky. The thing is, people before Bibleland have made monetary offers for the remains - unsuccessfully. Bibleland knows this and knows it's a safe bet it will not turn up. Therefore, they can make any preposterous claim they wish. Given the gullibility level of literal followers of Genesis (funny how they're usually Christian even though Genesis comes from the jewish testament, not the christian one) it's pretty easy (as usual)to get this one over on those that are predisposed to believe this kind of stuff. There are many pix online and they are public domain. I'd like to see this one 'buried' (and with no "san") even though I relish the myth and have been to the actual site.
Posted by jimmyjay on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 09:39 PM
Pedro is the name of a mummy that was found near where I live. In this part of Wyoming we have long enjoyed the reactions from this myth. This article is currently the most accurate. The mummy itself is not a hoax. I became aware of it in the 70's when many adults had inspected it. The hoax is that Bibleland.com is currently making a profit (if only a mental one) by using it (as many have in the past) to their advantage. I live on the Shoshone Reservation and have grown up with the myths. Here are some of things that are in error variously, online. It's not "San Pedro the Mummy" nor the "Mountain Mummy". It's just the 'Pedro Mountains Mummy'. Here are the GPS coordinates for where it was found. This is in a high desert in the linear break bewteen the Southern (colorado) and central (the rest) rockies. To this day there is a sign in Shirley Basin signifying "Little Man Mine". The mine was registered with Carbon County but never produced. In error on the Bibleland site is the 'fact' that it had pubic hair (it did not). Also, the legend of the Little People (as local historians call the myth) killing their own is in fact an occasional truth of all the nomadic plains tribes who couldn't have their infirm interrupt their necessarily nomadic lifestyle. This fact has been transferred on to this mummy. Also, you will see quotes and stories mis-attributed to Dr. Gill, et al. as this story once again spreads as it did in the 70's. The mummy was examined at UW (I looked into this as a student there) and was found to be a diseased child (essentially a pinhead). Case closed and it then became a profit device. There are actually many mummy-cases like this and one would assume these human oddities would also occur in plains/prehistoric tribes (there's a similar mummy in the holdings of the Buffalo Bill center in Cody, WY - something Bibleland alludes to inexactly). It's really not that freaky. The thing is, people before Bibleland have made monetary offers for the remains - unsuccessfully. Bibleland knows this and knows it's a safe bet it will not turn up. Therefore, they can make any preposterous claim they wish. Given the gullibility level of literal followers of Genesis (funny how they're usually Christian even though Genesis comes from the jewish testament, not the christian one) it's pretty easy (as usual)to get this one over on those that are predisposed to believe this kind of stuff. There are many pix online and they are public domain. I'd like to see this one 'buried' (and with no "san") even though I relish the myth and have been to the actual site.
typo- Bibleland.com should read biblelandstudios.com
Posted by jimmyjay on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 09:47 PM
"Given the gullibility level of literal followers of Genesis" - jimmyjay
Genesis! You have followers!

Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Fri Mar 18, 2005 at 10:11 PM
Genesis! You have followers!
I wish to clarify that that was not a dig on Jews or Christians and refers simply to the gullible followers of this hoax. I have no scholarly interest in flame competitions on BB's. The post is given to the webmaster here because the main contact form has not worked over the past week. Also, let me correct the link.
Posted by jimmyjay on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 12:21 AM
Jimmy, I re-posted this story as a topic. Nobody took it as a "dig".
The Genesis dig was entirely my doing, taken out of context for my own (and hopefully others' ) amusement.
Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 12:30 AM
The Genesis dig was entirely my doing, taken out of context for my own (and hopefully others' ) amusement.
Obviously, the natural product to incorporate the His Essence scent would be car air-fresheners to hang from your rear-view mirror. Freshen the air and ward off evil spirits at the same time.
Posted by Big Gary C in Fairbanks, Alaska on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 12:40 AM
this won't get out of my head now until I type it:
"How dirty boys get crucified"
Posted by Someone on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 06:57 AM
"How dirty boys get crucified"
If anyone's curious, "cassia" is what North Americans buy when they buy cinnamon at the grocery store. True cinnamon is a related plant, which is light grey-brown, and it smells and tastes sweeter than cassia, while still being cinnamony. As for myrrh, a good quality one is an excellent scent; I use it in a perfume I mix.
That said, it's hard to imagine a devout Christian coming up with this candle idea. Looks like an opportunity for a fast buck.
Posted by cvirtue on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 08:30 PM
That said, it's hard to imagine a devout Christian coming up with this candle idea. Looks like an opportunity for a fast buck.
Don't forget Bible Fragrances, purveyors of Biblical perfumes, and of course the Jesus Air Freshener.
Posted by kf on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 11:41 PM
Ha, I could just see walking into the domicile of someone who owns a few of these.
"Jesus christ, what's that smell?"

Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Sat Mar 19, 2005 at 11:44 PM
"Jesus christ, what's that smell?"
...I like that "portion" of the proceeds go to Christian ministries. Thanks for being forthright & honest about where my money is really going.
Although, the idea is cute...my mom would get a kick out of this if I got her one. (Too bad I'm not paying $18 for ANY candle, no matter how Godly it smells.) I went to biblegateway.com & indeed verse 8 advises: 8All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad. Although, biblegateway has the bible translated into lots of different languages, there is no Hebrew or Greek versions.
Selah.
Posted by Maegan in Tampa, FL - USA on Sun Mar 20, 2005 at 07:30 AM
Although, the idea is cute...my mom would get a kick out of this if I got her one. (Too bad I'm not paying $18 for ANY candle, no matter how Godly it smells.) I went to biblegateway.com & indeed verse 8 advises: 8All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad. Although, biblegateway has the bible translated into lots of different languages, there is no Hebrew or Greek versions.
Selah.
They can market this to alterna-teens who have been worshipping false idol Kurt Corbain since his death in the mid-90's.
"Smells like JESUS'S teen spirit, kids!"
Now why is this stupid thing $18, pray tell?
Posted by Electra on Sun Mar 20, 2005 at 08:53 PM
"Smells like JESUS'S teen spirit, kids!"
Now why is this stupid thing $18, pray tell?
Duh, I meant Cobain.
Couldn't let THAT typo go. Must.sleep.now.eyes.are.melting.
Posted by Electra on Sun Mar 20, 2005 at 08:54 PM
Couldn't let THAT typo go. Must.sleep.now.eyes.are.melting.
A more relevant verse is Psalm 40:2, "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit."
Miss Poppy
MissPoppy.com
"What a Trend We Have in Jesus!"
Posted by Miss Poppy Dixon in Hollywood on Mon Mar 21, 2005 at 06:03 PM
Miss Poppy
MissPoppy.com
"What a Trend We Have in Jesus!"
I think this is a wonderful ministry. How can you put people down for sharing such a wonderful product.
Posted by Angeline in U.S.A. on Tue Mar 22, 2005 at 10:09 AM
Oh, is that what mass-marketing, prduction and sales are called these days? Sharing?
Posted by Hagar on Tue Mar 22, 2005 at 05:02 PM
Ministry:
The act of serving; ministration.
One that serves as a means; an instrumentality.
Serving:
To work for.
To be a servant to.
...Sorry, I don't see them WORKING FOR me. They are offering a good/service, but typically a ministry is used to help a particular group or need.
Posted by Maegan in Tampa, FL - USA on Mon Mar 28, 2005 at 02:18 PM
The act of serving; ministration.
One that serves as a means; an instrumentality.
Serving:
To work for.
To be a servant to.
...Sorry, I don't see them WORKING FOR me. They are offering a good/service, but typically a ministry is used to help a particular group or need.
I know it's old, but that line... "Jesus Christ what's that smell?" just cracked me up! Good one!

Posted by Mark-N-Isa in Midwest USA on Thu Apr 07, 2005 at 02:25 PM
"Jesus, what's that smell, man"
"Probably just a vagrance left in the car. Or maybe they just used it as a toilet and moved on."
"Are you gonna find these guys. I mean, do you have any promising leads or anything?"
"Leads? Yeah, sure. I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They got four more detectives workin on the case. They got us workin in shifts. Leads"
"My only hope is that The Big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off."
Posted by Jeff Lebowski on Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 08:03 PM
"Probably just a vagrance left in the car. Or maybe they just used it as a toilet and moved on."
"Are you gonna find these guys. I mean, do you have any promising leads or anything?"
"Leads? Yeah, sure. I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They got four more detectives workin on the case. They got us workin in shifts. Leads"
"My only hope is that The Big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off."
Did you know that there are scriptures that say IF you use the combination of aloe, cassia and myrrh, that was used to anoint the Ark of the Covenant and other ceremonies that you are in danger of damnation? A curse will be put on your family, according to scripture. I make an essential oil that was originally that very blend, but I changed it a tad, just to be sure I was not offending The HOly Spirit.
Posted by anna on Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 07:45 PM
Hm, I wonder what He smells like?
Posted by Meerkat on Mon Jul 31, 2006 at 09:30 PM
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