The Museum of Hoaxes
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Huggable Urns
Status: Weird, but real
image Christophe Thill sent me a link to Huggable Urns (they're teddy bears that hold cremains) along with the message: "This has to be a hoax? Right? Right?" Sorry, Christophe. I don't think so. The Huggable Urns look real enough, and if you click on the 'Buy Now' button on the products page, it takes you to a PayPal payment page, which is usually a good sign that a product is real.

Actually, although the huggable urns seem a bit ghoulish and tacky, they're not that bad an idea. They're better than many alternatives. For instance, my mother-in-law's ashes have been sitting in a plastic urn above the washing machine in our garage for the past two years. We just can't figure out what to do with her. So there she sits. And the award for the worst thing to do with someone's ashes has to go to Sandi Canesco of Australia. I write about her in Hippo Eats Dwarf. She had her husband's ashes injected into her breast implants. She said that "that way I'd never really have to part with him at all." I guess you could say that Sandi has her own unique version of Huggable Urns.
Categories: Death
Posted by The Curator on Fri Jul 07, 2006
The funny thing about "cremains" is that you don't actually get the ashes of your loved one.

According to a friend who works in the industry, typical crematoriums only "clean out" the furnaces at the end of the day, not after every corpse. You get the ashes from everyone incinerated that day, all mixed up.

Perhaps there are those places that do actually clean up after every customer.

So when you hug your toasted loved-one, remember that you may be hugging about 20 other people too. Who wants to a hug a dead person anyway?

Have a nice day!
Posted by Dan  in  Michigan  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  08:20 AM
What a lovely cheery post LOL Thanks Dan!

Alex, you can't find a better place for your mother in law than above the washing machine??? LOL
Posted by Nettie  in  Perth, Western Australia  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  09:18 AM
"That way I'd never really have to part with him at all" -- and neither do your lovers, Sandi! (She was 26 when this happened, and given the breast implants after becoming a widow, I don't expect she was considering becoming a nun.)
Posted by Gutza  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  09:48 AM
LOL! thanx for the laugh, i needed it.
Posted by Grain  in  Bay Area, CA  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  02:39 PM
I cannot say, "EW!!!!!!!" with enough fervor!
Blech! {Shudder}
Posted by thephrog  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  02:52 PM
Wow, you really made my day, Dan. sick

Almost every day that goes by convinces me more firmly that when the time comes I don't want to be buried or cremated, but composted.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Paradise, Texas  on  Fri Jul 07, 2006  at  08:40 PM
from the first page

"Please note: The Teddy Bears, Dog and Cat are made to hold smaller
portions, where as the pillows will hold the remains of an adult"


aww!
Posted by thunder  in  England  on  Sat Jul 08, 2006  at  09:49 AM
Actually, I knew this guy who had this exact same idea back in 1998. He even had an idea to theme the type of stuffed animals (mostly bears) based upon the career path of the deceased, or the month they had been born. I wonder how much he could have made if he had actually put some thought into it's eventual practicality.

And how much of that sweet, sweet money I could have come away with if we all had taken seriously his proposal, and actually offered up a little encouragement. downer
Posted by EJWise  in  Madison, WI  on  Sat Jul 08, 2006  at  06:30 PM
You know, since "cremains" (what a hideous word!) are basically ashes, you could use them in an almost unlimited assortment of products.

Mix them into cement to make concrete, and use the concrete to build a patio.
No, wait! Use the concrete to make a concrete block, then chain the block to a corpse to make it sink when you dump it in the river. cool grin
Sift out any big chunks, then put the rest in an hourglass. How's that for a memento mori?
Mix the ashes with pigments and make Navaho-style sand paintings.
Make gunpowder (I think this has actually been done a few times, e.g. when Hunter Thompson had his remains made into fireworks).
Scatter them on icy pavement so people won't slip (i.e. use the residue from one funeral to prevent another one).
Mix with some glycerin, peppermint flavor, and a bit of sodium flouride, and you've got toothpaste.
Mix with some peat moss and compost, pour into a flower pot, and add a plant.
Fill up ash trays in smoking sections of public areas.

Etc.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Paradise, Texas  on  Sat Jul 08, 2006  at  07:00 PM
Old idea: Courtney Love toted her Famous Dead Husband's ashes around in a teddy bear backpack for a while back in 1994/1995.
Posted by katey  on  Sat Jul 08, 2006  at  08:38 PM
I note the prices start around $99. Compared with other methods, that makes these 'huggies' rather appealing
Posted by Phred22  in  Maryland  on  Sun Jul 09, 2006  at  05:10 PM
If my GF dies, I am going to have her ashes incorporated in a blow-up doll. In that way I...
Posted by LaMa  in  Europe  on  Mon Jul 10, 2006  at  02:16 PM
Why does the teddy bear have four arms?
Is he a Hindu god or something?
Posted by Big Gary  in  Paradise, Texas  on  Sat Jul 15, 2006  at  03:36 PM
They're supposed to be wings. It's a teddy bear angel, of all things.

*gack*
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Sat Jul 15, 2006  at  10:19 PM
I don't understand the world today when it comes to having a LOVED ONE in a STONE COLD URN & NEVER TO BE HELD AGAIN OR A BEAR THAT CAN BE CUDDLED WHEN YOU FEEL DEPRESSED or having a BAD DAY. I have my 2 1/2 month old Daughter in the White Bear & her Brother(who is only 13 months older than her) LOVES HER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS IN BEAR FORM NOW and UNDERSTANDS that this is his sister now.She was killed in Oct."05" @ the age of 2 1/2 months.I will continue to recomened this website to everyone I meet,no matter if it is a Human Loved one or a Beloved Pet that they have lost.
Posted by Lori  in  Wayne,Michigan  on  Sun Jul 23, 2006  at  11:59 PM
Hi,

Just FYI -

There is a brief write up about Huggable Urns in the May 2007 issue of Harper's Magazine (page 28 in the lower left hand corner).

Michael
Posted by Michael Farrell  in  Boston, Mass  on  Sun Apr 29, 2007  at  09:45 AM
I heard about these on that one show - Rachel Ray - I think it is. Seemed creepy & disgusting at first. But, then a lightbulb went off & I realized what a spectacular idea it really was - for pet cremains. Alright, so hugging the thing still is freakish to me - but my son's 16 year old cat passed last year & he's still in a box. My son (who's 19) wants something to put him in but he's not crazy about the options - can't see himself having some urn - any urn sitting on a shelf & doesn't want him to remain in a box (& he threw out the idea of spreading his ashes somewhere. So, this seems perfect - he gets to have the ashes (cremains - whatever) & no one has to know. AND, if he needs to sneak a hug every now & again - no one will ever have to know!

I give it 4 paws & 2 thumbs up... aisha
Posted by Aisha  in  Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA  on  Sun Jul 15, 2007  at  04:14 AM
Okay, "who wants to hug a dead person anyways?". I do! I have my son who was born at 16 weeks in a Huggable Urn. I want to be able to hug him. Just because you are cold hearted doesn't mean everyone else is.
Posted by Sarah  on  Mon Sep 03, 2007  at  10:14 PM
Regarding Dan from Michigan's post, your friend who works in the industry is either unethical, ill informed or outright lying.

I had worked in a crematory in the late 90's for 3 years processing the bodies into ashes and after every cremation the entire chamber was swept to ensure all of the bone fragments (that when pulverized constitute the 'ashes') were cleared before another body was cremated.

This is the very same practice carried out by every crematory I have come to know.
Posted by Joseph  in  Corpus Christi, TX  on  Tue Jan 22, 2008  at  02:05 PM
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