Healer knows all your problems before you even mention them to him

The Advertising Standards Authority of South Africa has determined that Dr. Abdallah Kiwa has been "'duping' people into paying for services that cannot possibly be delivered." Specifically, Kiwa has distributed advertising pamphlets in which he has made the following claims:

• ENSURES SUCCESS AS YOU GET RICH QUICKLY
• BRING BACK LOST LOVER…
• REMOVE BAD SPELLS FROM HOMES, BUSINESS ECT
• ENSURES THAT PROMOTION YOU HAVE DESIRED FOR A LONG TIME AT WORK OR IN YOUR CAREER.
• REMOVE BLACK SPOTS THAT KEEP TAKING YOUR MONEY AWAY
• FIND OUT WHY YOU ARE NOT PROGRESSING IN LIFE & THE SOLUTION
• INTRODUCING(MULONDOX) BLEND FOR ENLARGING THE PENIS IN THE BOTH LENGTH AND GITH (sic) IT STIMULATES THE TISSUE AND MUSCLES…
• READ AND TELL ALL YOUR PROBLEMS BEFORE YOU EVEN MENTION THEM TO HIM
• ELIMINATE IN-FAMILY FIGHT BETWEEN CHILDREN AND PARENTS, IN-LAWS HUSBAND AND WIFE AND ENSURE PEACE AND HARMONY IN HOME
• RECOVERS STOLEN PROPERTY AND TRACE WHEREABOUTS OF PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU
• GAURANTEED THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND TRUSTED BY YOUR COLLEAGUES, HUSBAND,WIFE, IN LAWS, FRIENDS ECT
• GET YOU MARRIED TO THAT LOVER OF YOUR LIFE IN A SHORT TIME AND SEAL UP YOUR MARRIAGE WITH INTERNAL LOVE AND HAPPINESS
• ENSURE THAT A SINGLE PERSON GETS A PARTNER IN A SHORT TIME
• BRING TO SEE YOUR ENEMIES AND MAKE DEMANDS ON THEM USING A MIRROR”.

Health/Medicine Pseudoscience

Posted on Tue Sep 08, 2009


Comments

So which one of those things did the government say Dr. Kiwah can't really do?

Here in the Rio Grande Valley, there are lots of storefront "readers and advisers" who can do all of that stuff and more. At least, their advertising says they can.

For that matter, in supermarkets, pharmacies, hardware stores, etc. here, you can buy candles, oils, soaps and aerosol sprays to accomplish everything on that list. For example, I know a place that sells "black salt" for getting rid of bad neighbors (it's not poison or anything; it's just magic).
Posted by Big Gary  on  Tue Sep 08, 2009  at  12:30 PM
REMOVE BLACK SPOTS THAT KEEP TAKING YOUR MONEY AWAY

This one is easy, make your girlfriend or wife dissapear
Posted by Ares  on  Tue Sep 08, 2009  at  03:13 PM
If I was a Republican, I'd say, "Hey, that looks like an Obama campaign flier."

I'm not, though, so I won't say that.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Wed Sep 09, 2009  at  01:27 AM
If I do not want "lost lovers" returned to me, do not want to find out why I am not "progressing in life", and most definitely do not want my "penis enlarged in length and gith"; does this mean I have to stay away from mirrors just to be safe?
Posted by floormaster squeeze  on  Wed Sep 09, 2009  at  09:05 AM
Did anybody get what color candle I have to light for a hurricane free Caribean vacation?.....and talk about vacationing... Alex, you came back in full strength. Thanks!
Posted by mario  on  Wed Sep 09, 2009  at  10:14 PM
What is that last one supposed to mean?
Posted by Sakano  on  Sun Sep 13, 2009  at  11:34 AM
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