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Healer knows all your problems before you even mention them to him
The Advertising Standards Authority of South Africa has determined that Dr. Abdallah Kiwa has been "'duping' people into paying for services that cannot possibly be delivered." Specifically, Kiwa has distributed advertising pamphlets in which he has made the following claims:
• ENSURES SUCCESS AS YOU GET RICH QUICKLY
• BRING BACK LOST LOVER…
• REMOVE BAD SPELLS FROM HOMES, BUSINESS ECT
• ENSURES THAT PROMOTION YOU HAVE DESIRED FOR A LONG TIME AT WORK OR IN YOUR CAREER.
• REMOVE BLACK SPOTS THAT KEEP TAKING YOUR MONEY AWAY
• FIND OUT WHY YOU ARE NOT PROGRESSING IN LIFE & THE SOLUTION
• INTRODUCING(MULONDOX) BLEND FOR ENLARGING THE PENIS IN THE BOTH LENGTH AND GITH (sic) IT STIMULATES THE TISSUE AND MUSCLES…
• READ AND TELL ALL YOUR PROBLEMS BEFORE YOU EVEN MENTION THEM TO HIM
• ELIMINATE IN-FAMILY FIGHT BETWEEN CHILDREN AND PARENTS, IN-LAWS HUSBAND AND WIFE AND ENSURE PEACE AND HARMONY IN HOME
• RECOVERS STOLEN PROPERTY AND TRACE WHEREABOUTS OF PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU
• GAURANTEED THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND TRUSTED BY YOUR COLLEAGUES, HUSBAND,WIFE, IN LAWS, FRIENDS ECT
• GET YOU MARRIED TO THAT LOVER OF YOUR LIFE IN A SHORT TIME AND SEAL UP YOUR MARRIAGE WITH INTERNAL LOVE AND HAPPINESS
• ENSURE THAT A SINGLE PERSON GETS A PARTNER IN A SHORT TIME
• BRING TO SEE YOUR ENEMIES AND MAKE DEMANDS ON THEM USING A MIRROR”.
• BRING BACK LOST LOVER…
• REMOVE BAD SPELLS FROM HOMES, BUSINESS ECT
• ENSURES THAT PROMOTION YOU HAVE DESIRED FOR A LONG TIME AT WORK OR IN YOUR CAREER.
• REMOVE BLACK SPOTS THAT KEEP TAKING YOUR MONEY AWAY
• FIND OUT WHY YOU ARE NOT PROGRESSING IN LIFE & THE SOLUTION
• INTRODUCING(MULONDOX) BLEND FOR ENLARGING THE PENIS IN THE BOTH LENGTH AND GITH (sic) IT STIMULATES THE TISSUE AND MUSCLES…
• READ AND TELL ALL YOUR PROBLEMS BEFORE YOU EVEN MENTION THEM TO HIM
• ELIMINATE IN-FAMILY FIGHT BETWEEN CHILDREN AND PARENTS, IN-LAWS HUSBAND AND WIFE AND ENSURE PEACE AND HARMONY IN HOME
• RECOVERS STOLEN PROPERTY AND TRACE WHEREABOUTS OF PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU
• GAURANTEED THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND TRUSTED BY YOUR COLLEAGUES, HUSBAND,WIFE, IN LAWS, FRIENDS ECT
• GET YOU MARRIED TO THAT LOVER OF YOUR LIFE IN A SHORT TIME AND SEAL UP YOUR MARRIAGE WITH INTERNAL LOVE AND HAPPINESS
• ENSURE THAT A SINGLE PERSON GETS A PARTNER IN A SHORT TIME
• BRING TO SEE YOUR ENEMIES AND MAKE DEMANDS ON THEM USING A MIRROR”.
|
Categories: Health/Medicine, Pseudoscience Posted by Alex on Tue Sep 08, 2009 |
Comments (6) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
So which one of those things did the government say Dr. Kiwah can't really do?
Here in the Rio Grande Valley, there are lots of storefront "readers and advisers" who can do all of that stuff and more. At least, their advertising says they can.
For that matter, in supermarkets, pharmacies, hardware stores, etc. here, you can buy candles, oils, soaps and aerosol sprays to accomplish everything on that list. For example, I know a place that sells "black salt" for getting rid of bad neighbors (it's not poison or anything; it's just magic).
Posted by Big Gary in Relampago, Texas on Tue Sep 08, 2009 at 01:30 PM
Here in the Rio Grande Valley, there are lots of storefront "readers and advisers" who can do all of that stuff and more. At least, their advertising says they can.
For that matter, in supermarkets, pharmacies, hardware stores, etc. here, you can buy candles, oils, soaps and aerosol sprays to accomplish everything on that list. For example, I know a place that sells "black salt" for getting rid of bad neighbors (it's not poison or anything; it's just magic).
REMOVE BLACK SPOTS THAT KEEP TAKING YOUR MONEY AWAY
This one is easy, make your girlfriend or wife dissapear
Posted by Ares in the netherlands on Tue Sep 08, 2009 at 04:13 PM
This one is easy, make your girlfriend or wife dissapear
If I was a Republican, I'd say, "Hey, that looks like an Obama campaign flier."
I'm not, though, so I won't say that.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy on Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 02:27 AM
I'm not, though, so I won't say that.
If I do not want "lost lovers" returned to me, do not want to find out why I am not "progressing in life", and most definitely do not want my "penis enlarged in length and gith"; does this mean I have to stay away from mirrors just to be safe?
Posted by floormaster squeeze on Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 10:05 AM
Did anybody get what color candle I have to light for a hurricane free Caribean vacation?.....and talk about vacationing... Alex, you came back in full strength. Thanks!
Posted by mario in new joysey on Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 11:14 PM
What is that last one supposed to mean?
Posted by Sakano in Ohio on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 12:34 PM
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