I

oh no my secret is out

Doesn't every celebrity lurk online? If not they'd miss out on a big part of the world. And when they use their own names nobody believes them anyway, so they're still anonymous.

I used to be a 16 year old lesbian until Brittney got famous and people started recognizing her photos. Bitch.

I confess.....

or maybe I'm it, hah, you don't know.

I realize that probably no one will believe me now that everyone else has claimed to be me, but in all seriousness, I truly am Halle Berry.

When I first found out about this website, I found it intriguing. I thought that, since it was about hoaxes and stuff like that, that it would be fun to adopt an identity and "hide" out here, until someone figured me out or I got bored. As good as you guys are, you never did find me out. I guess the joke's on you!

You guys sure talk about a lot of stuff, some of it is interesting and some of it is sort of...what's the word, trivial? There were times when I would sit back and wonder if you were ever going to figure me out. My Dad was a great practical joker, he loved to play pranks on the bands he worked with and I guess I just inherited his love of that kind of thing. I hope you don't get too mad at me for having a little fun and I hope that nobody that I picked on is upset about it too much.

H.B.

Lucy Lawless was once banned from a Xena chat room.

And I have memories of seeing someone (I think Jenny McCarthy) on some late-night talkshow, saying she sometimes went into fan chat rooms for herself and hung out in the back quietly, and once in a while tried to introduce herself meekly, and want to chat, to no success.

Then of course, there was Douglas Adams, who was driven out of his usenet newsgroup by the rabid fans.

Having personally experienced, and in some cases facilitated, celebrity appearances in chat rooms (The producers, actors, and crew of the Canadian Sci-Fi show "Lexx"), I can say that they are just people, and very rarely will you know it unless they want it to be known (and can find it hard to prove they are who they say they are). And, once they are known, they find it very hard to remain (proportional to how famous they are).

With 8 billion or so indexed web pages, and millions of chat rooms, comment pages, posting forums, and bboards, the odds that Halle has visited yours are slim. However, the odds that someone "famous" has visited yours are quite high, since there are so many famous people now. The commodity of fame is finite (or grows slowly with the population), and being diluted constantly.

>>>>
Then of course, there was Douglas Adams, who was driven out of his usenet newsgroup by the rabid fans.
<<<<

I think I remember that; the problem was that he couldn't easily prove he was Douglas Adams, and so a lot of people assumed he was a faker. In general it is very hard to prove that you are who you say you are on the internet, indeed it is very hard to prove anything at all anywhere. I imagine Lucy Lawless also being banned for impersonating Lucy Lawless.

In any case, the presence of a famous person in a forum dedicated to discussing that person's work would probably be a fatally imbalancing thing. The contributors would be constantly looking over their metaphorical shoulders in case they cause offence. And in the case of Douglas Adams, I imagine there would be a small but persistent bunch of people who would try to use him to kick-start their own careers. The few times I have passed by forums where relatively famous people post - British comedian Richard Herring uses the internet a lot - the discussion breaks up into the same kind of factions that bedevil organised religion.

And ultimately, after the novelty wears off, what if Halle Berry had nothing interesting to say? She's famous for her looks rather than her wit, and I'd rather have an online discussion with Jack Black or the talky one from Penn and Teller.

RRrrrrrrrrrrrrrraoul is Halle Berry. It's painfully obvious.

Alright, all this talk of celebrities lurking online has made me decide to come clean.


I'm really Scarlett Johansson.

And no, you can't have any nude pictures.

>>>>
I imagine Lucy Lawless also being banned for impersonating Lucy Lawless.
<<<<

You might be surprised:
http://whoosh.org/issue8/ephany.html

>>>>
And ultimately, after the novelty wears off, what if Halle Berry had nothing interesting to say? She's famous for her looks rather than her wit, and I'd rather have an online discussion with Jack Black or the talky one from Penn and Teller.
<<<<

Hmm, Halle is such a poser. I still can't get over how annoying she acts, standing around trying to show every angle of herself to photographers, at film premiers and other events (especially X-men related). Frankly I'd rather talk to her than look at her (but neither very much). Halle, if you are reading this, I'll give you a dollar if you refuse X3 and tell them to get Angela Bassett.

And as for Penn and Teller, I'd rather chat with the quiet one!

P.S. I am really Roger Waters, but don't tell anyone.

Splarka said:

"Hmm, Halle is such a poser. I still can't get over how annoying she acts, standing around trying to show every angle of herself to photographers, at film premiers and other events (especially X-men related)."

"Posing for photographers is, of course, part of my job. I'm contractually obligated to promote the films I appear in. As for "showing every angle" of myself, you should talk to my publicist. He is forever getting on my case about showing off what he considers my "bad side." It's an ongoing debate between us.

"Halle, if you are reading this, I'll give you a dollar if you refuse X3 and tell them to get Angela Bassett."

Angela is a great actor, but I think I have my foot in the door on the X-Men franchise at this point. Sorry. Did you not like the first two films?

Roger Waters? What a coincidence because I was Roger Whittaker in a former incarnation.

Well, I liked the X-Men movies, good luck to Hale and hope that the 3rd movies is even better.

JC

Splarka said:
"... And I have memories of seeing someone (I think Jenny McCarthy) on some late-night talkshow, saying she sometimes went into fan chat rooms for herself and hung out in the back quietly ..."

Are you saying Jenny McCarthy has FANS???

I was willing to believe that Cranky Media Guy is really Halle Berry and that Charybdis is Scarlett Johansson, but now you've gone too far, Splarka. I ain't buying THAT.

Besides, I still prefer to think of Cranky as a Lucha Libre rassler standing in an abandoned drive-in movie theater.

*giggles at the slight increase of chaos*

You are aware that Boo is really Hugh Grant, aren't you?

I am NOT Halle Berry. I am booch. But I do want to say that I love this site, and all my favorite posters, like May gan, Hairy Hoodini (hilarious!), Mark and Jan, charrbonis, the cranky guy, and the rest of you. You all deserve my Oscar for your performances, and I wish you all good luck with your driving skills and your future posts. This is booch, NOT Halle, signing off for today (I have an audition in an hour).

I imagine this happens a lot. If I were a celebrity I would probably do the same thing.

"You are aware that Boo is really Hugh Grant, aren't you?
Posted by Charybdis in Hell on Fri Aug 05, 2005 at 09:30 AM"

If I'm recalling the convo correctly, you have it only in part. She was Hugh Grant masquerading as Patrick Stewart.

No, I am not this Halle Berry. I am Raoul, The Swollem Member of The Club of Love, and don't you forget it, okay? Ha ha ha, I am only teasing you peoples, you know? Don't get me started... be sides, I am thinking she is el stupido Hairy Houdini, except he is old and ugly, and she is a fine brown lady with hot tamales, yes? Rrrraoul

Found this while doing a search..Hmm I wonder if Johnny Depp ever gets online? IF he ever has the time...Anyway...so you ALL know I am
NOT some desperate internet woman and RESPECT everyone's privacy..But if I ever DO end up chatting with somone famous...that is cool too!
Have a FANTAZMAGORICAL day everyone! ~BLESSINGS and PEACE~ ^i^

HALLE - i am writing in the event you frequent this board. I wanted to congratulate you on all your success - I remember when you had your first major step (beauty competition)( in Ohio ) - My daughter was also in the competition, on the first day, shortly after she had the opportunity to meet other competitors and we finally had an opportunity to talk, she told me she already KNEW who would win. I asked her who she thought it would be and she said, her name is Halle Berry --- !!! How right she was!

life is beautiful

Halle Berry - burnt at the stake

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