Enslave New Zealand

Are you tired of "namby-pamby politicians with their bean-counting, child-smooching sweaty handshakes?" A few Australians are, so they've taken politics into their own hands and formed the Enslave New Zealand Party. If elected, members of this party promise one thing: to invade New Zealand and enslave its entire population. Their plan sounds foolproof. After all, as they point out, "New Zealand bases her defence policy on one simple fact: no one can attack New Zealand without going through Australia first. This is generally true but there is, of course, one exception…Australia." But has the Enslave New Zealand party forgotten about Frodo, Gandalf, and Aragorn? Surely they'd save New Zealand.

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Posted on Mon Oct 18, 2004


Comments

Just what the world needs!!! One country hasn't annexed another since... oh.. Hawaii? Taiwan??
Posted by john  on  Mon Oct 18, 2004  at  06:42 PM
Bring it on, Australia. Our weapons may be pitchforks, but damned if they're not sharp.
Posted by Hamish  on  Tue Oct 19, 2004  at  07:13 AM
I'd love it if someone enslaved the New Zealanders. My husband's family is from NZ & if they think it's so DAMN GREAT, THEY SHOULD JUST PACK UP ALL OF THEIR DAMN STUFF WITH THEIR DAMN ACCENTS AND PADDLE BACK IN A DAMN CANOE FOR ALL I CARE!

Excuse me. I didn't mean to be so harsh. Don't know where that came from. I love my in-laws. Really. They're not pretensious or snobby!
Posted by Maegan  on  Tue Oct 19, 2004  at  12:58 PM
I hope the party is for real.
Posted by john  on  Tue Oct 19, 2004  at  03:08 PM
Ha! to Aussie F-111's. We will form a ring of steel with our 5 Air Defence Mistral launchers.
Posted by Andy  on  Tue Oct 19, 2004  at  07:51 PM
We laugh at the though of invasion.

If there were any threat, the Government would legislate against it.
Posted by Andy  on  Tue Oct 19, 2004  at  07:58 PM
"We laugh at the tough of invasion..." Andy, 'thought' has a T in it. You don't need to be so serious. We're just playing around.
Posted by john  on  Wed Oct 20, 2004  at  03:23 PM
whoops i mispelled it myself. I guess i shouldn't be talking!
Posted by john  on  Wed Oct 20, 2004  at  03:24 PM
But - I though(t) that the idea that a country could protect itself by making it illegal for another country to invade, was amusing.

The same way that NZ's total of 5 VLLAD launchers could protect more than about 10 square kilometres.

Of course, there is also a Phalanx air defence system, but the two ANZAC frigates have to take turns to use it.

Andy
Posted by Andy  on  Thu Oct 21, 2004  at  04:40 PM
But what will happen to all the sheep? Surely they'll get very lonely if all the NZers are over in Oz.
Posted by Damian  on  Sun Oct 24, 2004  at  06:36 AM
*hahaha* :lol:
Posted by Evey  on  Sun Oct 24, 2004  at  07:40 AM
The sheep are the reason the Australians would be invading. They luuuuuuuve sheep. MaaaaaAAAAAA!!!!
Posted by Anarchangel  on  Wed Mar 09, 2005  at  02:59 AM
Is that why the two main imports to Aussie-Land (not affiliated with Disney World Domination Corp) are velcro-palmed gloves and rubber boots?
Posted by Rod  on  Wed Mar 09, 2005  at  03:26 AM
They ripped off my idea from July 2003!!

http://www.4bitterguys.com/rants/nz/
Posted by Tim  on  Sat Jan 14, 2006  at  08:28 AM
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