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Chuck Norris Facts
Status: Tall Tales
I don't know when the Chuck Norris facts first appeared on the internet. Many of you might already be aware of them. But just in case you're not, they're worth a look. Here's a few of the facts:• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is aware of these "facts" being spread about him. So far, he has generously allowed their authors to live.
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Categories: Celebrities, Folklore/Tall Tales Posted by Alex on Fri Jan 13, 2006 |
Comments (280) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
One of the facts on the page reads "If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen."
Heh, sorry, Google turned up 12 results with 5 hidden for repeating. In fact, putting the fact on the page itself will result in the fact showing up on Google sooner or later.
Posted by RAMChYLD in Klang, Malaysia on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 05:30 AM
Heh, sorry, Google turned up 12 results with 5 hidden for repeating. In fact, putting the fact on the page itself will result in the fact showing up on Google sooner or later.
That is simply only because Chuck Norris wanted those results to pop up. Possibly because he's bored and wants people to search for it so he can kill them.
Posted by Dan on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 07:02 AM
You have to remember...Chuck Norris invented the Internet.
Posted by Mike on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 08:26 AM
Who is Chuck Norris?
Posted by Mr Henderson in Teddington UK on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 08:48 AM
I read the same "facts", but they were about Mr. T.
Posted by Michael in Houston on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 09:25 AM
Chuck Norris is hideous. Yeah, I said it. Is he going to show up at my door and kill me now?
Posted by Sakano in Ohio on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:38 AM
I thought I saw them on a fan site once (I'm not sure how I got there, maybe Chuck Norris made me do it)...I just assumed they were a joke.
Posted by Maegan in Tampa, FL - USA on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 12:16 PM
As far as I know this started as a Vin Diesel fact generator: http://www.4q.cc/vin/
Then they added Chuck Norris: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/
And more recently Mr. T: http://www.4q.cc/t/
The novelty is wearing off, but it still amuses from time to time
Posted by Daniel on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:11 PM
Then they added Chuck Norris: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/
And more recently Mr. T: http://www.4q.cc/t/
The novelty is wearing off, but it still amuses from time to time
Ok...it seems whoever came up with this is a tad too obsessed with Chuck Norris.
Posted by Carmen in Vancouver on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:13 PM
I think all of these ultimately stem from the Bill Brasky skits on SNL.
Posted by joemono in Portland, OR on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Chuck Norris is one of the best.
Posted by Grizzly on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 03:03 PM
Something about Chuck just makes people laugh. He's been kind of an inside joke around our school for quite a while now.
Posted by FlintJ on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 04:23 PM
"Walker told me I have AIDS"
http://media.putfile.com/conanwalker4
Posted by pull the lever on Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 05:27 AM
http://media.putfile.com/conanwalker4
What Would Chuck Norris Do?
http://sinfulshirts.com/customize.php?shirt=128
Posted by MrT on Sun Jan 15, 2006 at 12:58 PM
http://sinfulshirts.com/customize.php?shirt=128
Chuck Norris stoled my virginity
Posted by tim in elmioa on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 10:24 AM
when chuck norris went to burger king he asked for a big mac. and got one
Posted by fredrik in norway on Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 01:12 PM
"Chuck Norris is hideous. Yeah, I said it. Is he going to show up at my door and kill me now?
Posted by Sakano on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 08:38 AM"
And he (Sakano) hasn't written anything since...
Posted by Sinj in Alberta on Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 12:27 AM
Posted by Sakano on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 08:38 AM"
And he (Sakano) hasn't written anything since...
One of the facts on the page reads "If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen."
Heh, sorry, Google turned up 12 results with 5 hidden for repeating. In fact, putting the fact on the page itself will result in the fact showing up on Google sooner or later.
Posted by RAMChYLD on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 02:30 AM
Try it on google image search my friend, filters off.
No results. That is because there is no evidence anyone kicked his ass because it is not possible. This is known by everyone who is not on Chuck Norris's kill list.
Posted by Ethan in Yellville on Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 05:15 PM
Heh, sorry, Google turned up 12 results with 5 hidden for repeating. In fact, putting the fact on the page itself will result in the fact showing up on Google sooner or later.
Posted by RAMChYLD on Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 02:30 AM
Try it on google image search my friend, filters off.
No results. That is because there is no evidence anyone kicked his ass because it is not possible. This is known by everyone who is not on Chuck Norris's kill list.
chuck norris will kick all your asses
Posted by jeff in tdot on Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 06:24 PM
Chuck Norris filmed many of the episodes of "Walker, Texas Ranger" in my neighborhood (East Dallas). One of the episodes featured my next-door neighbor's house. I don't recall ever seeing Chuck himself on the set (but then, I wasn't looking for him), but I met some of the other cast and crew around town. Chuck Norris seemed like a pretty decent guy-- he was always contributing to local charities and so forth. So much so that I even tried watching the show. It was very interesting because it always made an effort to promote positive social values like tolerance, temperance, respect for elders, equality for minorities, etc., but every episode inevitably ended with all the problems being solved by Chuck and his pals kicking the snot out of their antagonists. I think the dude has deep inner conflicts.
Posted by Big Gary in Dallas, Texas, USA on Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 07:05 PM
Posted by Sakano in Ohio on Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 04:54 PM
Were the first "random facts" about Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel?
Posted by Solitary on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 10:07 AM
hurricane katrina was not a natural disaster chuck norris was practicing his round house kicks and sent a giant gust of wind to lousiana
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sun Jan 22, 2006 at 01:16 AM
the eye of the hurricane is infact chuck norris performing his deadly roundhouse kick
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sun Jan 22, 2006 at 01:20 AM
the oceans are really chuck norris's penis imprints when he got tired of carying he sets it down and the holes fill with water
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sun Jan 22, 2006 at 01:24 AM
Chuck Norris mated with piemanthe3rd.
Posted by Jack Oneill in 3201 on Tue Jan 24, 2006 at 03:12 PM
Actually there are 99,800 search results for "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked". LOL, like it ever happens. =)
Posted by Ben Goldschmidt in Missouri on Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 08:01 PM
Actually.. If you've ever seen Bruce Lee movies, I forgot which one, but in one of them Chuck Norris gets killed by Bruce Lee after they fought for like an hour. Bruce Lee didn't even break a sweat.
Posted by infernohit on Thu Jan 26, 2006 at 03:14 AM
It's called acting. And in those days he was training under Bruce Lee himself, so he hadn't surpassed his former master yet. Legend has it when Bruce Lee died, Chuck Norris absorbed his spirit to form the powerful killing machine he is today.
Posted by Dan on Thu Jan 26, 2006 at 03:30 AM
i loved the walker texas ranger lever Conan had. I crack up just thinking about it.
Posted by Greggy in San Francisco on Fri Jan 27, 2006 at 07:58 PM