Garage Door Opener Triggers Priapic Response
Status: Old joke
The Register has posted a transcript of a BBC radio call-in show during which a man phoned up claiming to have a highly unusual medical problem. Following an operation in Turkey to treat his impotence, the man now finds that every time his neighbor opens the garage door, he gets an uncontrollable erection: CALLER: But what is happening now is every time my neighbour comes back in their 4 x 4, I get an erection.
HOST: Good Lord.
CALLER: This is embarrassing. It's a big problem.
HOST: Have you been to see your doctor about it?
CALLER: The problem is I had this done in Turkey, using equipment that is not known in this country. I don't like it because every time his car pulls in I can't leave the house.
HOST: (Laughing) I'm afraid that it sounds funny as well. I know it's not funny for you.
CALLER: It's not funny for me, Roger, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection.
I'm sure I'm giving this more thought than it deserves, because there's no way it's not a joke. I'm not aware of any bionic penile implants that could be activated by the radio frequency that a garage-door opener uses. (And I actually did some research into strange penis implants in the course of writing chapter two in Hippo Eats Dwarf... the one about fake body parts... but I never came across anything like that.)HOST: Good Lord.
CALLER: This is embarrassing. It's a big problem.
HOST: Have you been to see your doctor about it?
CALLER: The problem is I had this done in Turkey, using equipment that is not known in this country. I don't like it because every time his car pulls in I can't leave the house.
HOST: (Laughing) I'm afraid that it sounds funny as well. I know it's not funny for you.
CALLER: It's not funny for me, Roger, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection.
Update: David Emery immediately identified this as an old joke whose history has already been traced in FoafTale News. Apparently Bob Hope used a similar joke in his routine, saying that his neighbor got a new pacemaker, but now every time he made love his garage door opened. As the joke circulated through popular culture, the pacemaker turned into a penile implant that was activated whenever the garage door opened. This version has been seen in the Weekly World News (August 5, 1997, p. 58) and Fortean Times (68:13).
Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Jul 19, 2006 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 9
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Page 1 of 1 pages
He might not be joking, it might be some kind of paranoid psychosomatic response. In which case, sucks for him.
Posted by Citizen Premier in spite of public outcry on Wed Jul 19, 2006 at 10:50 PM
"Can't leave the house?" Yeah, right. I'm sure every man hides in shame each time he's in public and has a randy thought.
Posted by cvirtue on Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 01:47 AM
"Can't leave the house?" Yeah, right. I'm sure every man hides in shame each time he's in public and has a randy thought.
I agree. This kind of happens, and we men have learned to live with it. Or at least I have.
And hey, as long as you're in the house, there *is* an easy way to get rid of that erection
I've learned to live with that as well.Mot sure that solution works with priapsis...
Posted by outeast in praha on Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 04:15 AM
Aaargh! Robert.Wood, what hast thou done?
That should help... Or will it...?
Posted by outeast in praha on Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 04:17 AM
That should help... Or will it...?
This is a Larry the Cable Guy routine. "I got my vasectomy done at Sears, and now, every time my neighbor uses his garage door opener, I get a boner."
Posted by btsculptor in The Heart of America on Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 04:45 AM
yeah, it's on Larry the cable guy's series "Git-R-Done"
Posted by Blood For Nothing in Somewhere in the Arctic on Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 06:22 AM
Kind of reminds me of the guy who had an MRI scan of his pelvis and afterward every time he got an erection it always pointed north.
Posted by Blondin on Wed Jul 26, 2006 at 06:34 PM
Actually, it may be true.
Russian phyysicians and a bunch of researcher from the University of California have invented independently (and it ha a US patent, too...) a wireless implantable stimulation device which is used to excite the nerves which lead to an erection. See http://www.freepatentsonline.com/4585005.html
Since the frequency used in remote controls for opening automatic garage doors use a similar frequency, it might be possible.
Dr. Renato Sabbatini
Professor, Medical School
State University of Campinas
Posted by Renato M.E. Sabbatini, PhD in Campinas, Brazil on Sat Mar 31, 2007 at 01:47 PM
Russian phyysicians and a bunch of researcher from the University of California have invented independently (and it ha a US patent, too...) a wireless implantable stimulation device which is used to excite the nerves which lead to an erection. See http://www.freepatentsonline.com/4585005.html
Since the frequency used in remote controls for opening automatic garage doors use a similar frequency, it might be possible.
Dr. Renato Sabbatini
Professor, Medical School
State University of Campinas
Page 1 of 1 pages