Chuck Norris Facts
Status: Tall Tales
I don't know when the Chuck Norris facts first appeared on the internet. Many of you might already be aware of them. But just in case you're not, they're worth a look. Here's a few of the facts:• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is aware of these "facts" being spread about him. So far, he has generously allowed their authors to live.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Thu Jan 12, 2006 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 267
Category: Celebrities, Tall Tales
Category: Celebrities, Tall Tales
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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It was acutally because of Chuck Norris that Mary got pregnant.
Posted by dan demers in Welland Ont on Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 03:06 PM
chuck norris waits and wathes for you who question his ass kicking powers
Posted by cole in maiden high school on Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 05:19 AM
chuck norris died ten years ago, death is to afraid to tell him
Posted by brad on Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 10:24 PM
...Chuck Norris invented the sea-section when he round-house kicked his way out of the womb
Posted by ????? in ????? on Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 11:44 AM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Posted by Jørgen in Norway on Tue Mar 07, 2006 at 12:10 PM
chuck norris once slept with and entire covenant of nuns 20 years later the champion miami dolphins were created
Posted by wang in batmans layer on Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:17 PM
chuck norris recently had the idea of seling his urine as a canned bevrage. We know this drink as Red Bull.
Posted by wang in batmans layer on Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:19 PM
chuck norris never missspells a word. if he does, he simply changes the spelling.
Posted by wang in batmans layer on Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:25 PM
"chuck norris has counted to infinity. twice."
Posted by the king in nj,usa on Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 03:06 PM
The reason 12:00 flashs on your VCR is because Chuck Norris sneeks into everyones home and round-house kicks it....
and he is the only one who can stop it.
Posted by person#2 in aol.com on Thu Mar 09, 2006 at 06:35 PM
and he is the only one who can stop it.
Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. So if you mess with Chuck Norris, then you will have to go through Chuck Norris.
Posted by Name Here on Fri Mar 10, 2006 at 09:33 AM
Chuck Noris Likes to kniting sweaters in his spare time and by kniting I mean kicking and by sweaters I mean babies
Posted by Joe Kickass in Somewhere on Fri Mar 10, 2006 at 05:48 PM
i googled "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" and got 324,000 results... grown alot since december 05 when it was about 30
Posted by joe in fl on Sun Mar 12, 2006 at 03:07 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, wet gets Chuck Norris.
Posted by GFORCE on Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 09:01 AM
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding...
Posted by SilverTalon☼ on Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 10:01 AM
to all you dick fucks who think chuck norris was trained by bruce lee, he wasnt, he was trained to his low level of martial arts capabilities and the Bruce Li Martial Arts Academy, a common martial arts school around the country
Posted by joe on Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:34 PM
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Posted by BamfManiac on Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 06:15 PM
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
you people are so pathetic
Posted by your mom on Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 08:10 PM
If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a tree in a forest, EVERYONE hears it fall!
Posted by S&S in South Africa on Wed Mar 15, 2006 at 02:50 AM
Ever heard of a little place called the Grand Canyon? Chuck Norris makes love to it. Nightly.
Posted by Tek Jansen on Thu Mar 16, 2006 at 03:11 AM
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