Chuck Norris Facts
Status: Tall Tales
I don't know when the Chuck Norris facts first appeared on the internet. Many of you might already be aware of them. But just in case you're not, they're worth a look. Here's a few of the facts:• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is aware of these "facts" being spread about him. So far, he has generously allowed their authors to live.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Thu Jan 12, 2006 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 267
Category: Celebrities, Tall Tales
Category: Celebrities, Tall Tales
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Page 2 of 14 pages < 1 2 3 4 > Last »
Posted by Sakano in Ohio on Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 01:54 PM
Were the first "random facts" about Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel?
Posted by Solitary on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 07:07 AM
hurricane katrina was not a natural disaster chuck norris was practicing his round house kicks and sent a giant gust of wind to lousiana
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 10:16 PM
the eye of the hurricane is infact chuck norris performing his deadly roundhouse kick
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 10:20 PM
the oceans are really chuck norris's penis imprints when he got tired of carying he sets it down and the holes fill with water
Posted by tommy nolen in keller on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 10:24 PM
Chuck Norris mated with piemanthe3rd.
Posted by Jack Oneill in 3201 on Tue Jan 24, 2006 at 12:12 PM
Actually there are 99,800 search results for "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked". LOL, like it ever happens. =)
Posted by Ben Goldschmidt in Missouri on Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 05:01 PM
Actually.. If you've ever seen Bruce Lee movies, I forgot which one, but in one of them Chuck Norris gets killed by Bruce Lee after they fought for like an hour. Bruce Lee didn't even break a sweat.
Posted by infernohit on Thu Jan 26, 2006 at 12:14 AM
It's called acting. And in those days he was training under Bruce Lee himself, so he hadn't surpassed his former master yet. Legend has it when Bruce Lee died, Chuck Norris absorbed his spirit to form the powerful killing machine he is today.
Posted by Dan on Thu Jan 26, 2006 at 12:30 AM
i loved the walker texas ranger lever Conan had. I crack up just thinking about it.
Posted by Greggy in San Francisco on Fri Jan 27, 2006 at 04:58 PM
the movie where he dies is called "way of the dragon"
Posted by matty h. on Fri Jan 27, 2006 at 09:20 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't eat breakfast, he forces it into submission.
Posted by miguel on Tue Jan 31, 2006 at 05:31 PM
The only reason Canada still exists is because Chuck Norris needs a place for his dogs to crap.
Posted by jimbo on Tue Jan 31, 2006 at 05:37 PM
Hamas recently made a commitment to destroy the nation of Chuck Norris.
Posted by Shelby Q. Durmstrang in Germany on Thu Feb 02, 2006 at 01:18 PM
anyone can piss on the floor, but chuck norris can shit on the ceiling
Posted by daniel on Thu Feb 02, 2006 at 06:17 PM
I stayed at the Embassy Suites once in Atlanta, where Chuch was also staying (promoting his book). I was just outside my room talking to a friend, and he was walking by, on his way to check out. Just him, his wife and the bellman. To tell you the truth, he looked tired. I kept on talking to my friend - not that I was scared of being punched out, but more that he probably appreciated that he could make it past someone WITHOUT being asked for an autograph. My summary: in real life, he's a real guy.
Posted by Brent on Sun Feb 05, 2006 at 08:45 PM
Hmmm.... Looked at the list and spotted the on were you Google "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked."
The current count is now up to 212,000, maybe more after I posted this. And go figure, the second link lead me to this page. :D
Posted by Atomic G in Maryland on Sun Feb 12, 2006 at 02:47 PM
The current count is now up to 212,000, maybe more after I posted this. And go figure, the second link lead me to this page. :D
When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
Posted by Meggie on Mon Feb 13, 2006 at 03:58 PM
Actually.
I think they meant if you google images.
Because if you type in "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" in the images, it returns 0 results.
Posted by Beth in Ohio on Mon Feb 13, 2006 at 08:25 PM
I think they meant if you google images.
Because if you type in "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" in the images, it returns 0 results.
I have spent the last tree weeks of my life searching chuck norris jokes and i have succesfully documented 568,342 jokes so far...i think that is as far as i will go. 
and all that i have learned is...chuck norris is one bad dude. and the only thing that can kill him is nuck chorris, which is the equalivalent of the antichrist.
Posted by Duke Rio in Chucknorissiville on Tue Feb 14, 2006 at 07:01 PM
and all that i have learned is...chuck norris is one bad dude. and the only thing that can kill him is nuck chorris, which is the equalivalent of the antichrist.Page 2 of 14 pages < 1 2 3 4 > Last »