The Museum of Hoaxes
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Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder and Hunting
The Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder Research Organization (DMGDRO) "is a team of New Orleans, Louisiana-based scientists interested in the study of male sexual disorders and dysfunction." Their most recent research study, released on March 29, has found the "Long-Suspected Link Between Hunting and Small Penis Size". The press release elaborates: "Like much folklore, it appears that, certainly in this case, there is a foundation in fact. This is the first time that research has been conducted on men who hunt, and it shows quite definitively that the link between what we are calling ‘the thrill of the kill' and a smaller-than-average penis is statistically significant." Of course, none of this is true. It was created by PETA as an April Fool's Day hoax. It looks like they're keeping up the website so that the hoax will enjoy a longer-running career on the internet.
Sex/RomanceSports
Posted by The Curator on Tue Apr 12, 2005 Comments (15)
But who needs a big cock, when you've got a Marlin 1895 in .45-70, with a 22" barrel? Far more lethal than any penis, and easier to keep clean as well.
Posted by Ashley Pomeroy  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  04:47 AM
You say the company PETA created that? Just to give to know, in portuguese PETA stands for hoax..... that's a really big coincidence... or not!
Xeerz
Posted by BSantos  in  Portugal  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  05:27 AM
PETA is a nonprofit organization - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. As a rule, the PETA true believers are obsessive and extremists. I'm all for the ethical treatment of animals. Most of PETA's half-baked publicity stunts and theories are hoaxy.

This is one of those extreme positions they foster. If hunting ceased, North America would be overrun with deer. We'd then have to poison them to control the deer population, since the populations of their natural predators is too low to keep the deer population in check.

It's funny that PETA stands for hoax, though.
Posted by Bill B.  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  10:50 AM
A mouse and an elephant go for a walk in the woods. The elephant falls down a large hole, and cries for the mouse to help him out. The mouse says, hold on, and goes and gets his '67 Plymouth Satellite. The mouse ties a rope to the bumper, throws it down to the elephant, and pulls him out. The next day, they walk through the woods again, only this time, the mouse fall down a large hole. "Go get my Satellite and pull me out", instructs the mouse. Shaking his head, the elephant unravels his long elephant willie, flops it down the hole, and the mouse climbs up and out on his eleshlong. Moral of the story? "If you've got a big willie, you don't need a '67 Plymouth Satellite"
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  10:54 AM
Wait a minute, this doesn't work. I don't have a '67 Plymouth Satellite and I don't have a...

Oh. Umm.

Nevermind.

red face
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  11:07 AM
I'm guessing that the hunting/small genitalia correlation is not quite as strong as the sports car/small genitalia correlation, but still significant. Of course, the Hummer/ minute genitalia correlation is 1:1.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  12:18 PM
Not really related, much more strange:

It's now possible to detach the tip of the penis, attach it *to your forearm*, enlarge it with skin grafts and put it back where it belongs. This has the benefit of preserving sensation in the new shaft, which is often lost when doing the procedure with the penis in place. Why? Don't ask me. Read all about it yourself:

http://www.opinion.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=E4HR2KFT2H54JQFIQMFCM54AVCBQYJVC?xml=/news/2005/04/10/wruss10.xml&sSheet;=/news/2005/04/10/ixworld.html

Sometimes fact is stranger than any hoax.
Posted by intjudo  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  03:02 PM
My late mother had a saying, applicable to PETA in this case of extended april-foolery: "April Fool's is gone and past, and you're the biggest fool at last."
Posted by Sam  in  Delaware  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  03:43 PM
Huh. More evidence that PETA are a bunch of stupid assholes. Hardly surprising....
Posted by Barghest  on  Wed Apr 13, 2005  at  04:40 AM
"It's now possible to detach the tip of the penis, attach it *to your forearm*, enlarge it with skin grafts and put it back where it belongs."

Let me know if you're in the middle of this procedure before I shake hands with you, OK?
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Apr 13, 2005  at  11:40 AM
"South Park" pointed to some of PETA's problem also.
Posted by Loxx  on  Thu Apr 14, 2005  at  04:44 PM
Well, what would they say about women hunters? What are they trying to compensate for, breast size?
Posted by Bisquik  in  Riverside, CA  on  Fri Apr 22, 2005  at  03:01 PM
Not all of PETA's members are extremist and PETA has helped a lot of animals. I think it was a funny April fools joke and people shouldn't take it so seriously.
Posted by mandycat  in  WV  on  Tue May 24, 2005  at  09:59 PM
Science has conclusively proven that the average PETA male member (that's a contradiction in terms) was born either without genitalia entirely, or had them surgically removed upon joining.
Posted by mac  on  Thu Dec 01, 2005  at  06:59 PM
There is room for all Gods Creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes.
Posted by Kamron  on  Thu Apr 06, 2006  at  12:50 PM
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