Garden Gnome Liberation Front
Wikipedia has a brief blurb about the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. This is a political movement dedicated to liberating gnomes from the gardens in which they are imprisoned. Members of the liberation front remove gnomes from gardens and either take them out to the woods to set them loose, or smash them to set their spirit free (personally I think taking them out to the woods sounds like the more humane option). I wonder if they've ever considered taking them to the underwater gnome garden. Anyway, this is an international movement. The American group calls itself Free The Gnomes. The Italian group calls itself MALAG, or the Independent Movement for the Liberation of the Garden Gnomes. One of those days I'm probably going to have to create a new category for gnomes.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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Guessed wrong - the Gnome uprising was short-lived, and Evan got the worst. The Guardian Gnomes killed him with the crushing; but then seemed to have little further object. Oh, the walled cities they could have taken! And bounty and booty for many, for sure. But, alas, the Gnomes lacked a strong leader, and the rebellion was quelled by the Shades. And, would fair Katrina have quelled their passions? No, but she got her due. Just look out for the mushroom on the left.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 08:04 PM
Ha! I wonder if Roosevelt E. Roosevelt reads this...
"Is it too early to be this loud? TOO LATE!" - Adrian Cronauer
Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 08:06 PM
"Is it too early to be this loud? TOO LATE!" - Adrian Cronauer
Then the Prelates said, "Our only hope is with Katrina. Let's set up the moat and the battle plans at her will." Unfortunately, Gnome spies had infiltrated the seagull clan, and sand-castle remnants began arising from the dunes. "Let us acquire the Cat-tail gangs, said General Julio, and send emissary missions to the shellfish!" Therewith, the Walrus club and the Carpenter union went forth, again, but not for the proceeds, this time. Meanwhile, Katrina sat grooming her lizards.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 08:39 PM
And if you want me to believe your Rehobeth Beach Gnome lie - then just follow my tale.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 08:52 PM
This reminds me of a short story I once wrote called "The Call of the Rutabegas", about veggie uprisings and the evil Rutabegas.
Posted by Winona in USA on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:04 PM
I think Stork's been associating with Hairy too much.
It's beginning to not remind me of a story my mum wrote about cabbages & kings. Mmmmm...lettuce...
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:09 PM
It's beginning to not remind me of a story my mum wrote about cabbages & kings. Mmmmm...lettuce...
Alas, as most investigations seem to end, there is no existing evidence of the "100-foot" tall Rehobeth Beach Gnome remaining. Indeed, there was a 25-30 foot Gnome adjacent to the boardwalk a few years ago, apparently in conjunction with a miniature golf course. But if it wasn't taken down by the owners or the city, and was, indeed, washed out to sea, then it would easily have been totally destroyed within weeks. Of course, the Prelates are still watching.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:09 PM
Winona, I would *love* to hear about the Rutabega uprising. Large vegetables scare me. And Smerk, I don't think your mother wrote 'The Walrus and the Carpenter'. It's a bit older than that. Perhaps, as my mother and grandmother did, she read it to you as a child. The Prelates are still watching.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:20 PM
I know my mum didn't write Walrus & Carpenter. I'm saying she wrote a short story called Cabbages & Kings. Moral of that story, try crop rotation and you won't get sick of cabbage.
I had a rather deprived childhood. I don't recall my mum reading me stories. I do recall acting out disney books on tape...I learnt to read pretty fast anyway, so I was reading "Alice" myself when I was five or six.
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:25 PM
I had a rather deprived childhood. I don't recall my mum reading me stories. I do recall acting out disney books on tape...I learnt to read pretty fast anyway, so I was reading "Alice" myself when I was five or six.
I posted it up on the web. Keep in mind that this was never ever edited, and it was just a silly thing that I popped out in less than five minutes. So, don't expect it to be very good.
It is at:
http://www.geocities.com/erikholsen/rutabega.html
Posted by Winona in USA on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:39 PM
It is at:
http://www.geocities.com/erikholsen/rutabega.html
Do tell, Smerk, it sounds interesting; unlike most of the jabberwockie posted here. By the way - Alex is #1. But Julio retired, and the oyster beds went back to sleep. No justification for Katrina, though; she still plots.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:43 PM
Basic story - two neighbouring kingdoms, one grows cabbages, the other lettuce. King in the cabbage kingdom is bored with cabbage for evey meal. Meets with neighbouring lettuce kingdom, agree to trade seeds. King in cabbage kingdom now has lettuce to moan over. End story. I think mum had it published in her school paper, her teachers thought it was that good.
Are the prelates still watching?
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:51 PM
Are the prelates still watching?
Winona, your rutabega story is chilling! 
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:57 PM
Winona, Yeah, like you said, quick. I might have left out the 5349 dead college students, but hey, your story is a RIOT! And, as we all know, the evil rutabegas continue to march ahead; joined, alas, by the Hickory Farms Preserved Cheese cavalry, recently. God save us, all. But then Evan said, 'Wait, he's dead!'
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 09:58 PM
Every once in a while I pop out those useless little things that I never look at again. Guess it gives me a break from the more serious stuff. That one was done at the end of an all nighter (and it shows). Dunno why I even keep this stuff, but I just liked this one because of my friend's fondness for rutabega. UGH! 
Posted by Winona in USA on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 10:03 PM
I loved that story. Really, I thought it was quite good. (Not that an internet opinion really matters, but, well, you know...)
Reminiscent of Stephen King, with the detached horror and all. I'm thinking particularly of his story (in Night Shift?) of the guy who had the Venus eyes pop up on his body. He was horrified, but the story was straight ahead, and presented his personal horror with very little emotion.
I also remember my baby sister hearing someone on the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon exclaim "Rutabagas!". For years she used it as her own little swear word, but NEVER in front of my parents, even though she knew it wasn't a bad thing to say.
My only question is: why is it on the website of "erikholsen"?
Posted by Rod in the land of smarties. on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 10:52 PM
Reminiscent of Stephen King, with the detached horror and all. I'm thinking particularly of his story (in Night Shift?) of the guy who had the Venus eyes pop up on his body. He was horrified, but the story was straight ahead, and presented his personal horror with very little emotion.
I also remember my baby sister hearing someone on the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon exclaim "Rutabagas!". For years she used it as her own little swear word, but NEVER in front of my parents, even though she knew it wasn't a bad thing to say.
My only question is: why is it on the website of "erikholsen"?
I'm a man, baby. 
Now you know my secret identity.
Nah, just kidding. I borrowed hubby's undeveloped website. I used to work for a website and got my fill so I avoid having my own now because I got way too sick of doing any real html. (Mind you my skills are waaaaay out of date now.)
Cute story about your sister! I love the way kids use those things. My son is in a "Oh, Bugger" stage right now. Good things he's a 'merican, he could really offend people otherwise.
Thanks by the way!
Posted by Winona in USA on Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 11:16 PM
Now you know my secret identity. Nah, just kidding. I borrowed hubby's undeveloped website. I used to work for a website and got my fill so I avoid having my own now because I got way too sick of doing any real html. (Mind you my skills are waaaaay out of date now.)
Cute story about your sister! I love the way kids use those things. My son is in a "Oh, Bugger" stage right now. Good things he's a 'merican, he could really offend people otherwise.
Thanks by the way!
Alas, the first emissary chosen was a 100-foot Gnome that rode the waves to quicken the oysters, but tiring of their apathy, supplanted himself beyond the surf. Katrina rose from her lethargy and called out,"W'ist not to smite the heathen's tongue, but clap his ears soundly!" The startlingly somber mood of the group was broken, tho, by the stableboy's announcement that the chickens were loose. More tales of the coven could be told, but Carissa said "No." I must obey.
Posted by stork in the spiracles of space on Mon Apr 04, 2005 at 04:18 PM
It is not fair to make Gnomes into slaves. If you have made a gnome into a slave you should set it free and send it to rehabilitation. The legal form to set your Gnome free is at a website called http://www.geocities.com/gnome_reserve. They have a bunch of Freed Gnomes and a Gnome Underground Railroad and they give counseling to Freed Gnomes.
Posted by Joey in Ohio on Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 07:57 AM
We, the Lakeview Terrace Garden Gnome Liberation Front, had a float recently in the Burlington, Vermont, USA, Mardi Gras Parade. We are vying for the People's Choice Award, and we could use more votes of support. Please visit:
http://www.magichat.net/mardigras2007/pics/index.php
to see more info about the parade and our float.
Free the Gnomes!
Posted by Lakeview Terrace Gnome Liberation Front in Burlington, Vermont on Tue Mar 06, 2007 at 01:10 PM
http://www.magichat.net/mardigras2007/pics/index.php
to see more info about the parade and our float.
Free the Gnomes!
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