Hippo Eats Dwarf
I came across this peculiar news story about a hippo eating a dwarf. It's been floating around the internet for a while, though I'm not sure exactly how long. Google 'hippo eats dwarf' and you'll pull up a bunch of pages. There's even a band named Hippo Eats Dwarf. The article has been circulating as an image file of a scanned article (click the thumbnail), but here's the text of it:A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident in northern Thailand. "A dwarf, nicknamed Od, died when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus, which was waiting to appear in the next act," the Pattaya Mail reported. "Vets on the scene said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex which automatically caused her to swallow." The vets said it was the first time the hefty vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer. "Unfortunately, the 1000 plus spectators continued to applaud wildly until common sense dictated there had been a tragic mistake. Police said the trampoline has been sent for forensic analysis."
The one true detail in the story is that the Pattaya Mail did indeed report this. However, everything else seems far too outlandish to possibly be true. Though, who knows. Weird things can happen.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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Hippos also put out fires.
Posted by Super Genius in Planet earth on Tue Mar 01, 2005 at 01:56 PM
Dooohhh, I meant Rhino not hippo!!!!!
Posted by Super Genius in Planet earth on Wed Mar 02, 2005 at 02:21 PM
I am sort of confused. On one side, if the Hippo had swallowed the dwarf, he probably could have escaped from the hippo's gut in time. On the other, much stranger things have happened, like ligers, or mega-tsunami's...
Posted by Marcello E. Miranda in Florida on Sat Aug 06, 2005 at 04:56 PM
Who's ever been to a circus with a hippo in? What does a hippo do in a circus - magic?
Posted by Flare on Fri Nov 18, 2005 at 02:12 AM
It eats dwarves, I'm guessing.
Posted by TheGreatUnwashed on Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 01:41 PM
You are Fred MacCauley and I claim the £5 reward.
Posted by percy strange in stockport on Sat Feb 18, 2006 at 05:05 AM
"Police said the trampoline has been sent for forensic analysis"
Yeah, right.
Posted by Leszek Swirski in Bournemouth, UK on Sun Feb 19, 2006 at 12:16 PM
Yeah, right.
This reminds me of the novel written about 1984 called "Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees in UFO" about a sleepy midwestern paper that gets bought out by a Rupert Murdoch type. The new editor is a crazed Brit who is on a search for the Ultimate Tabloid Headline.
Posted by Tom in Tallahassee on Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 06:50 AM
I am pleased to confirm that this story is indeed true and that I am actually the midget in question. The only error in the tale is the omission of the fact that I did in fact survive the incident after being secreted from the hippos rectum following a intensive 3-day ordeal which involved being digested alive.
Thankfully as a child I was taught how to hold my breath for days at a time by an elderly Tibetan monk by the name of Keith, I believe it was this training that saved my life whilst inside the hippo.
I hope this clears things up.
Posted by bruvafromauvamuva in London, England on Wed May 17, 2006 at 06:44 AM
Thankfully as a child I was taught how to hold my breath for days at a time by an elderly Tibetan monk by the name of Keith, I believe it was this training that saved my life whilst inside the hippo.
I hope this clears things up.
Grasshopper,
Good to hear your news and to find that, despite your apparent inattention during my lectures, you were actually paying attention and have consequently benefitted.
"Recognize that all words are part false and part true, limited by our imperfect understanding. But strive always for honesty within yourself."
Master Keith
Posted by percy_strange in Nepal on Thu May 18, 2006 at 01:56 PM
Good to hear your news and to find that, despite your apparent inattention during my lectures, you were actually paying attention and have consequently benefitted.
"Recognize that all words are part false and part true, limited by our imperfect understanding. But strive always for honesty within yourself."
Master Keith
So, here's where it all began!
Posted by SoxSweepAgain in NYC on Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 11:19 AM
false false false!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by i dont know on Fri Sep 08, 2006 at 07:21 AM
wow i cant beileve that a hippo can really a dwarf its so not possiable i swear 
lol its just not impossible for it to happen well at least i think not
Posted by dj.reap in nyc on Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 07:19 AM
lol its just not impossible for it to happen well at least i think notIt doesn't seem impossible to me. Hippos have a HUGE mouth. They can open their mouth so much that a 4 feet tall child could fit inside their mouth. Now imagine a dwarf...
Their mouth is like a giant cave, it's truly colossal. A dwarf is so small that could easily fit inside their mouth and be swallowed by them.
Maybe hippos don't eat people, but I'm sure they would be able to eat a dwarf.
Posted by Bernardo Santos in Funchal on Fri Sep 29, 2006 at 05:27 AM
Their mouth is like a giant cave, it's truly colossal. A dwarf is so small that could easily fit inside their mouth and be swallowed by them.
Maybe hippos don't eat people, but I'm sure they would be able to eat a dwarf.
WOW!!! how crazy is that, thats amazing. Poor dwarf.
Posted by Edward Mann in scarbough on Sun Oct 15, 2006 at 10:42 AM
yeah yeah yeah,,,,
who would believe this shite?
luke is disgusted to learn the truth of the bullshit lol hahahahahahahaha
Posted by me,myself and i in nz on Mon Mar 19, 2007 at 03:32 AM
who would believe this shite?
luke is disgusted to learn the truth of the bullshit lol hahahahahahahaha
Holy Atlantic Ocean!!!!! That must of been my long lost cousin! He disappeared after taking his pet hippo on a walk. Well at least we know what happened to him now. Rest his small soul!! :(
Posted by Jacoibia Manaiea in Africa on Tue Apr 03, 2007 at 10:08 AM
'The vets said it was the first time the hefty vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer.'
What a stupid thing to say.
I don't even have a response to that, rediculous comment.
I have to say, it's unfortunate both the hippo and dwarf died, but I did giggle. Does this make me a terrible person? ¬¬
Posted by Kathryn in Preston, UK on Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 07:55 AM
What a stupid thing to say.
I don't even have a response to that, rediculous comment.
I have to say, it's unfortunate both the hippo and dwarf died, but I did giggle. Does this make me a terrible person? ¬¬
Why are hippos even in circuses? I mean they don't have any circus talent at all!
But, you never know what people do these days. I mean it could happen, a hippo's mouth is pretty big!!! I highly doubt it but, you never really know!!
Posted by Cookie15 in Hamilton, OH on Thu Apr 19, 2007 at 01:48 PM
But, you never know what people do these days. I mean it could happen, a hippo's mouth is pretty big!!! I highly doubt it but, you never really know!!
Kathryn and Cookie 15,
There's a clue in the title of the website:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/2523/P20/
"hoax"
Posted by percy_strange in England on Sat May 12, 2007 at 07:13 PM
There's a clue in the title of the website:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/2523/P20/
"hoax"
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