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Rasputin’s Penis: Hoax or Not?
The Russian Museum of Erotica, newly opened in St. Petersburg, has been crowing about its acquisition of the penis of Rasputin (the mad mystic and lover of the wife of the Russian Tsar). A photo accompanying the many news reports about this unusual exhibit shows an attractive young woman staring rather in awe at the huge, grotesque thing as it floats in formaldehyde (there's another picture here). It definitely looks like a penis, but is it Rasputin's penis (which, according to legend, was 13 inches long)?As it turns out, Rasputin's penis has had a rather colorful history since its separation from his body. Here are some of the highlights. In 1916 Rasputin and his penis parted ways due to the machinations of a murdering gang of angry nobles. But, according to rumor, a maid found the bodiless member at the crime scene and saved it. During the 1920s a group of Russian women living in Paris acquired it (or acquired something that they believed to be his penis) and worshipped it as a kind of holy relic, while keeping it inside a wooden casket. Rasputin's daughter, Marie, didn't like the idea of her Dad's penis hanging out with these women, so she demanded the thing back. And it presumably stayed with her until she died in California in 1977. It then disappeared for a while until it came into the possession of Michael Augustine, who found it tucked away in a velvet pouch along with some of Marie Rasputin's manuscripts that he bought at a lot sale. Augustine sold the well-travelled penis to Bonham's auction house who then discovered (surprise, surprise!) that what they had bought was not a penis, but instead a sea cucumber.
That's where events stood in 1994. Now, ten years later the Russian Museum of Erotica is claiming that they have Rasputin's penis. Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000. Which just begs the question: where did this French antiquarian get the penis from? One might also wonder why the Museum's penis is preserved in fluid, whereas all early accounts of Rasputin's penis describe it as dried out.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Jun 23, 2004 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 63
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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WHATEVER it is.. those museum people are weird. and besides, wouldn't it decompose by now? yes. the body starts decomposing right away when it dies, plus he was in water, i'm not sure if it's slower or faster that way.
Posted by anonymous on Mon Sep 11, 2006 at 12:31 PM
now YOU are truly stupid!
Posted by ll in ll on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 08:23 AM
Can anyone tell me the origin of the word "geoduck"?
Posted by Shelley in NS Canada on Fri Dec 08, 2006 at 10:09 PM
Hey random: Almost all mammmals have foreskins. Look it up.
So what's in the jar?
HUMAN?
Probably not.
HORSE?
Possible.
GEODUCK?
Very likely.
Of course they didn't just shuck a clam and throw the contents in the jar with some formaldehyde. They had to have doctored it up with a little surgery first to make it look "authentic." Give it a foreskin and testes and all that. Barnum & Bailey did it all the time, they would take the time to sew a monkey head to a fish body before calling it a mermaid.
If the public could have been fooled by a sea cucumber for several years, well, LOLZ
http://www.englishrussia.com/?p=251
Posted by random is a dipshit on Fri Feb 09, 2007 at 02:19 PM
So what's in the jar?
HUMAN?
Probably not.
HORSE?
Possible.
GEODUCK?
Very likely.
Of course they didn't just shuck a clam and throw the contents in the jar with some formaldehyde. They had to have doctored it up with a little surgery first to make it look "authentic." Give it a foreskin and testes and all that. Barnum & Bailey did it all the time, they would take the time to sew a monkey head to a fish body before calling it a mermaid.
If the public could have been fooled by a sea cucumber for several years, well, LOLZ
http://www.englishrussia.com/?p=251
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine!!
Ooooh,those Russians...
Posted by Tom Tom on Fri Feb 09, 2007 at 03:07 PM
Ooooh,those Russians...
Its a sea cucumber. This has been documented on numerous websites. So sorry, there's no question.
Posted by Ryan in Oregon on Mon Feb 12, 2007 at 10:26 PM
That schlong's Rasputin
Don't you be disputin'!
Takes some long hard rootin'*
To start the Russky's Revolutin'
etc etc...
* "Root" is Aussie slang for sexual intercourse.
Posted by E@L in Singapore on Thu May 17, 2007 at 01:56 AM
Don't you be disputin'!
Takes some long hard rootin'*
To start the Russky's Revolutin'
etc etc...
* "Root" is Aussie slang for sexual intercourse.
There are Human Penises that look large enough to be horse or mule penis. There's a photo of one named Elmo, on the Human Penis Museum website, at http://www.HumanPenis.info ( or try http://www.HumanPenis.org )
This guy's live penis is soft, and he's laid it out alive on a slice of bread. You know what it must grow to when erect. Cross your legs tight or RUN!
Posted by Chris Davis in California on Mon Aug 06, 2007 at 08:43 AM
This guy's live penis is soft, and he's laid it out alive on a slice of bread. You know what it must grow to when erect. Cross your legs tight or RUN!
Just the obvious but overlooked fact that it would be DUST by now is disproof enough. It's not like its a piece of metal or something. It's dead tissue
Dead tissue rots quickly if not preserved. It wasn't in formaldehyde until 3 yrs ago. Hello people! Let's put our thinking caps on. Has anybody heard of a corpse staying intact for 80 years with no preservatives whatsoever? No, you haven't. Come on people, common sense.
Posted by El Diablo on Sun Aug 12, 2007 at 08:49 AM
Dead tissue rots quickly if not preserved. It wasn't in formaldehyde until 3 yrs ago. Hello people! Let's put our thinking caps on. Has anybody heard of a corpse staying intact for 80 years with no preservatives whatsoever? No, you haven't. Come on people, common sense.
This just in... yep, its still a sea cucumber.
Posted by Ryan Thompson on Mon Aug 13, 2007 at 04:29 AM
Though as real as it may be, it's merely a legend that it would in fact be Rasputin's member, the autopsy report stated that his genitals were in tact.
It may however be someone's penis, who knows, there may have been some unlucky man with a penis that large, (good luck finding women that like such a larghe penis) that may or may not have had it removed after death.
Posted by PKN in Surabaya on Thu Aug 16, 2007 at 12:43 AM
It may however be someone's penis, who knows, there may have been some unlucky man with a penis that large, (good luck finding women that like such a larghe penis) that may or may not have had it removed after death.
If that were really Rasputin's dick, there WOULD be mention of it in literature. Not just after-the-fact speculation.
Posted by Ryan Thompson on Sun Aug 19, 2007 at 01:07 AM
I like your rhyme, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
There was an autopsy of Rasputin, the results have been released, and this article on Hotspotz says that Yusupov didn't whack the Mad Monk off after all.
http://www.hotspotsz.com/Unravelling_the_truth_about_Rasputin_(news-clip-3052).html
Posted by Donald Dork in USA on Fri Jan 18, 2008 at 06:11 PM
There was an autopsy of Rasputin, the results have been released, and this article on Hotspotz says that Yusupov didn't whack the Mad Monk off after all.
http://www.hotspotsz.com/Unravelling_the_truth_about_Rasputin_(news-clip-3052).html
I fucking told you so. Assholes
Posted by Ryan Thompson on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 06:07 AM
all yall clowns!!
here are some facts, from some one who has butchered a horse and cut off its penis "for vetneary study purposes".
once a penis has been removed, it basicalll loses it's "pressure setting" not being connected to the artery system. Even a massive horse cock after bleeding out turns into ONE handfull of skin and tissue.. pretty much like deflating a balloon. so that thing has been tempered with i.e. enbalmed/filled/pressurised-stretched. no penis looks like that after being cut off. there would hardly be any volume! must say, some bloody idiots on this page i tell ya. most worthy comment is prob the geoduck!
Posted by Oliver on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 02:30 AM
here are some facts, from some one who has butchered a horse and cut off its penis "for vetneary study purposes".
once a penis has been removed, it basicalll loses it's "pressure setting" not being connected to the artery system. Even a massive horse cock after bleeding out turns into ONE handfull of skin and tissue.. pretty much like deflating a balloon. so that thing has been tempered with i.e. enbalmed/filled/pressurised-stretched. no penis looks like that after being cut off. there would hardly be any volume! must say, some bloody idiots on this page i tell ya. most worthy comment is prob the geoduck!
Oliver got it right.
Again, if you anybody still thinks this thing is real, you're a fucking idiot.
Posted by Ryan Thompson on Tue Apr 22, 2008 at 04:12 PM
Again, if you anybody still thinks this thing is real, you're a fucking idiot.
Wikipedia reports that an autopsy of Rasputin stated his genitalia were intact.
I am not sure what this is. It could easily be answered with a tissue sample and an exam from a qualified doctor or veterinarian. If it were a legitimate museum it would run those tests, short of that you are a curious sucker for paying the price of admission. There is one born every minute, as PT Barnum said.
Rasputin was a well-known mesmerist/hypnotist, that was the source of his power over people.
Posted by wombat on Fri Jul 18, 2008 at 08:25 PM
I am not sure what this is. It could easily be answered with a tissue sample and an exam from a qualified doctor or veterinarian. If it were a legitimate museum it would run those tests, short of that you are a curious sucker for paying the price of admission. There is one born every minute, as PT Barnum said.
Rasputin was a well-known mesmerist/hypnotist, that was the source of his power over people.
I've been to the museum and it looks real to me. The fluid it's floating in would have been absorbed and it would have become somewhat it's normal size - even if it had once been dried out because of exposure. As for the size - 30 CM - it's large but there are several men who are larger. I think the biggest on record was something over 14". However a penis that size can cause all sorts of problems for a young boy when he enters puberty and doesn't have any idea that he's "different". When he gets erections in class and cannot stand for fear it will be peaking out the waistband of his trousers or pushing down his pant leg in a very obvious fashion, or worse yet having the other boys see him in the showers and getting constantly teased about his size - all of this creates some trauma for a young male. Usually his first sex partners will be frightened by the size unless they're very experienced. The trauma and almost being ashamed of it can last well into a boy's 20's when he finally figures out that it's as much blessing as curse (maybe more) and decides that the grief he took isn't worth letting it hurt any more. A male teacher or father figure who's also well endowed can be very helpful to a young guy in this situation - by simply telling him that he's not some freak and he's not only normal but a lot of the teasing and taunting he'll get is based more on jealousy than anything else. And if you're wondering if I speak from personal experience - the answer is yes at 31 centimeters and it was that size by the time I was 13 years old. I did have one English teacher who was as large and who took me aside and explained the reality of it to me. He also taught me things about human nature and how many men were and would be jealous and consider me a threat to them and/or their women. Having his counsel on this admittedly esoteric subject helped one hell of a lot and probably saved years of therapy later on! Oh I went into therapy, but not about that subject at least! I wouldn't trade this "blessing" now, but it would have been easier to be more "average" in size for a kid growing up in America in the 1960's.
Posted by Western Male in Arizona on Thu Nov 27, 2008 at 12:23 AM
There's also that whole problem of how Rasputin's dick was never severed. Ah shucks :p
And that thing is still a geo duck.
And Western, you're a shitty liar.
Posted by Ryan T. on Thu Nov 27, 2008 at 03:24 AM
And that thing is still a geo duck.
And Western, you're a shitty liar.
you are all arguing about a penis
Posted by boob on Sun Dec 28, 2008 at 06:57 PM
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