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Rasputin’s Penis: Hoax or Not?
The Russian Museum of Erotica, newly opened in St. Petersburg, has been crowing about its acquisition of the penis of Rasputin (the mad mystic and lover of the wife of the Russian Tsar). A photo accompanying the many news reports about this unusual exhibit shows an attractive young woman staring rather in awe at the huge, grotesque thing as it floats in formaldehyde (there's another picture here). It definitely looks like a penis, but is it Rasputin's penis (which, according to legend, was 13 inches long)?As it turns out, Rasputin's penis has had a rather colorful history since its separation from his body. Here are some of the highlights. In 1916 Rasputin and his penis parted ways due to the machinations of a murdering gang of angry nobles. But, according to rumor, a maid found the bodiless member at the crime scene and saved it. During the 1920s a group of Russian women living in Paris acquired it (or acquired something that they believed to be his penis) and worshipped it as a kind of holy relic, while keeping it inside a wooden casket. Rasputin's daughter, Marie, didn't like the idea of her Dad's penis hanging out with these women, so she demanded the thing back. And it presumably stayed with her until she died in California in 1977. It then disappeared for a while until it came into the possession of Michael Augustine, who found it tucked away in a velvet pouch along with some of Marie Rasputin's manuscripts that he bought at a lot sale. Augustine sold the well-travelled penis to Bonham's auction house who then discovered (surprise, surprise!) that what they had bought was not a penis, but instead a sea cucumber.
That's where events stood in 1994. Now, ten years later the Russian Museum of Erotica is claiming that they have Rasputin's penis. Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000. Which just begs the question: where did this French antiquarian get the penis from? One might also wonder why the Museum's penis is preserved in fluid, whereas all early accounts of Rasputin's penis describe it as dried out.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Jun 23, 2004 | Permalink |
Total Comments: 71
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Category: Body Manipulation, Sex/Romance
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
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Thanks for posting this up here. I am a huge Russian history buff, so all my friends (while stifling giggles) ask me if I plan to go and see Rasputin's penis or if I heard about it yet. I personally didn't think it was real from the time I first heard the museum supposedly had it, but whatever. At least now I have a link to throw at people instead of sitting around explaining why I don't think it's real.
Posted by Goo in Dexter, Maine on Fri Jun 25, 2004 at 08:39 PM
I thought penises sans any kind of fluid plus pressure system were very small. There are no bones; just skin and i suppose a little muscle.
It looks very unlikely.
Posted by David Tiley on Sun Jun 27, 2004 at 11:55 PM
It looks very unlikely.
My first thought on seeing this "pickled penis" (couldn't resist) was that it reminded me of a geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck) clam. Here are a couple of links to some pictures of goeducks:
http://www.columbian.com/outerlimits/geoduck.html and
http://www-sci.pac.dfo-mpo.gc.ca/geoduck/bbleather_e.htm
If it is a hoax, maybe it's a "pickled goeduck".
Myst
Posted by Myst on Tue Jun 29, 2004 at 01:55 PM
http://www.columbian.com/outerlimits/geoduck.html and
http://www-sci.pac.dfo-mpo.gc.ca/geoduck/bbleather_e.htm
If it is a hoax, maybe it's a "pickled goeduck".
Myst
Many reasons I think it's fake:
-The fist picture I saw of Rasputin's penis a few years ago din't look at all like this.
-If a french had this penis he would have sold it at the erotic museum in Paris. Why did he wait to sell it in Russia?
-When the murderer of Rasputin cut it off they certainly didn't spent half an hour carving out testicles and other guts visible on the photo. They would cut just the "main" part.
Posted by Fredledingue on Wed Jun 30, 2004 at 02:14 PM
-The fist picture I saw of Rasputin's penis a few years ago din't look at all like this.
-If a french had this penis he would have sold it at the erotic museum in Paris. Why did he wait to sell it in Russia?
-When the murderer of Rasputin cut it off they certainly didn't spent half an hour carving out testicles and other guts visible on the photo. They would cut just the "main" part.
Those pictures of geoducks are amazing (and scary!). I'm ready to change my vote: that thing in the jar ain't human, and it ain't a sea cucumber, it's a big clam!
(If I just had the phone number of that model in the "Museum of Erotica" photo, I'd be happy to give her all the details ...)
Posted by Big Gary in Dallas, Texas on Wed Jun 30, 2004 at 08:57 PM
(If I just had the phone number of that model in the "Museum of Erotica" photo, I'd be happy to give her all the details ...)
whether it's real or not, no wonder women likes him(rasputin) very much.... Wuz 30cm long??? Mine's 35cm.... don't believe? Just try me.... Ladies only, ok???
Posted by mattdiego@mikepyan in Malaisie on Sun Jul 25, 2004 at 07:16 AM
No way it's Rasputin's cuz Yusupov would have cut it of'below' the "base'
Posted by Randifilus on Fri Sep 17, 2004 at 12:43 PM
Do you know that exists a mushroom called Phallus impudicus?
If it is a hoax, maybe it is a pickled mushroom!
Posted by John on Sun Sep 19, 2004 at 06:39 PM
If it is a hoax, maybe it is a pickled mushroom!
Sure looks like a geoduck clam to me! Also, I agree that a person murdering Rasputin probably wouldn't have taken care to surgically remove all the gonads. More than likely, he'd just hack the member off at its base.
Posted by Michelle in Akron, Ohio on Wed Mar 02, 2005 at 01:10 PM
I hate to have to spoil the fantasy of the ladies, but any zoologist can tell you that it is definitely an ANIMAL penis.
Posted by THE DEBUNKER in Philadelphia on Tue Jul 26, 2005 at 07:11 PM
::in response to THE DEBUNKER::
Well, Rasputin WAS somewhat of an animal, was he not?
Posted by Jenny in Illinois on Mon Sep 05, 2005 at 04:04 PM
Well, Rasputin WAS somewhat of an animal, was he not?
Is it real?? bhave you read thereal lif accounts of women who were literally torn apart by this man in episodes of sexual frenzy? this monster DONG has changed history. All bow down to the great wang of rasputin!!!!!
Posted by Ben in australia on Tue Sep 06, 2005 at 05:43 PM
according to the story it would have stayed in a woden casket for some number of years - without any preservation fluid or alcohol. WOuldn't it have decomposed? How can it be real?
Posted by Bindhu on Sat Sep 10, 2005 at 04:26 AM
HERE IS THE TRUTH: IT IS A HORSES PENIS--PLAIN AND SIMPLE. THERE YOU HAVE IT.
Posted by THE DEBUNKER in SomewhereOver the Rainbow on Mon Dec 19, 2005 at 06:21 PM
One day, I will buy that penis. Then I will have it surgically attached and all women will tremble in my presence.
Posted by Ross Patton on Tue Feb 14, 2006 at 10:58 PM
Yeah, in fear of having to touch such a manky old thing.
Posted by Smerk in to mischief on Tue Feb 14, 2006 at 11:13 PM
First of all, the notion that it is a goeduck clam is patently absurd. While it may be difficult to see in the above picture, a larger photo will reveal a well developed head - completely in contrast to the tapered head of the goeduck. (However, thanks to whoever linked to the goeduck because, although a foolish hypothesis, it was an utterly hilarious image.)
Secondly, the claim that anyone who removed his Johnson would have merely cut it off at the base, ignoring his stupendous gonads, is clearly unjustified. Why, when one swift motion of a knife would be enough to glean the scepter AND the jewels, would one only remove the scepter?
Finally, while it is dubious that the member would have survived in a wooden case for an extended period of time, that wooden case story is mere legend anyway. Most likely, this is a false legend since, if you follow the thread of the story all the way through, it leads to a sea cucumber on Bonham's auciton house!
Now, I am not saying that it definitely is Rasputin's penis. The point of this post is simply to point out that no intelligent person could mistake it for anything but a real penis, and there is also no reason to believe that it is NOT Rasputin's.
Posted by Aristesticles in California on Sat Apr 22, 2006 at 09:02 AM
Secondly, the claim that anyone who removed his Johnson would have merely cut it off at the base, ignoring his stupendous gonads, is clearly unjustified. Why, when one swift motion of a knife would be enough to glean the scepter AND the jewels, would one only remove the scepter?
Finally, while it is dubious that the member would have survived in a wooden case for an extended period of time, that wooden case story is mere legend anyway. Most likely, this is a false legend since, if you follow the thread of the story all the way through, it leads to a sea cucumber on Bonham's auciton house!
Now, I am not saying that it definitely is Rasputin's penis. The point of this post is simply to point out that no intelligent person could mistake it for anything but a real penis, and there is also no reason to believe that it is NOT Rasputin's.
Oh Please!!! Give me a fricken break! You don't have to be a zoologist to tell that is an ANIMAL penis. It is NOT HUMAN. I repeat:not human. Most likely the genital of a horse or bovine.
Posted by Steve Vitale in Lindenwold, NJ on Sun Apr 23, 2006 at 01:15 PM
Not human? Genital of a horse or bovine? Goeduck clam? No, no, and no. It's painfully clear that the penis has a foreskin, which neither horses nor bovines have. If it were a horse-cock it'd have a visible joint-ridge in the middle, which this one obviously does not. Also, like said, it's painfully clear that there's a foreskin--not even mentioning the human testes and other reproductive system paraphernalia present.
Animal penises and invertebrates.. What a bunch of dumb-asses.
Posted by random on Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 10:42 PM
Animal penises and invertebrates.. What a bunch of dumb-asses.
Holy cow!
If only Felix Yusupov knew what was hiding in Rasputin's pants,he would have delayed the killing,dressed in drag as he often did and get a bucket of " duck fat ".
AAAAAAAIIIIIIII.
Posted by Patrick on Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 07:01 PM
If only Felix Yusupov knew what was hiding in Rasputin's pants,he would have delayed the killing,dressed in drag as he often did and get a bucket of " duck fat ".
AAAAAAAIIIIIIII.
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