I always feel guilty when I don't update my weblog regularly. Like when I was finishing my book and didn't have time to post, or this past week when I got the stomach flu and didn't feel like sitting at the computer. The guys at Blogoriented have an ingenious solution to this problem. They're outsourcing blogging:

We are outsourcing blogs to China. Our general business model is a two tiered effort to hire Chinese citizens to write blogs en masse for us at a valued wage... These blogs will pop up in various areas of the net and appear to the unknowing reader to be written by your standard American. Our short term goal for these original blogs is to generate a steady stream of revenue through traditional blog advertising like google adwords... The long term goal is to generate a large untraceable astroturfing mechanism for launching of various products. When a vendor needs to promote a new product to the internet demographic we will be able to create a believable buzz across hundreds of ‘reputable’ blogs and countless message boards. We can offer a legitimacy to advertisers that doesen’t exist anywhere else. The second tier of our plan is a blog vacation service where our employees fill in for established bloggers who need to take a break from regular posting.

All this smells a lot like a hoax to me. It also smells like a hoax to the author of this news.com article. If these Chinese bloggers have such a perfect command of English that they could effortlessly pass for "standard Americans," then they should blog as themselves. That would be more interesting than pretending to be American.

As for the blog vacation service, that's not a bad idea. I've thought about having guest bloggers step in when I don't have time to blog. Or I could invite readers to submit posts and pay a buck or two per post that I choose to put on the site (as a way to share the Google adsense revenue). Interesting thought.

Has Christopher Walken announced his intention to run for President of the United States? If you believe the press release posted on the 'Walken for Pres' site, he has:

09 August, 2005. New York - Early today, actor Christopher Walken, 62, held a private conference at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York in which he announced his intentions to run for the Presidency of the United States in the 2008 Election. Said the Queens native, “I have always been a follower of politics. My father was friends with the mayor of Schodack (NY) back in the 1940’s. We would walk the streets of Schodack and the people, they would wave to him. The children adored him. That is what I love to be, a man of respect and love.”

However, WorldNet Daily (which, I realize, isn't the most credible of sources, but in this case I suspect they're correct), reports a rumor that the Walken For Pres site is a hoax that is being perpetrated by members of the General Mayhem message boards.

When I was writing my new book (which will be published April 2006) I wanted to include a picture of the Mini Cooper Autonomous Robot, which was an online hoax created by BMW's marketing agency. They were willing to give me permission to include the image in my book, however they objected to the fact that I referred to it as a hoax. I asked how they wanted it described instead. Their response: "It's not a hoax. It's a clever marketing campaign". So I think that's how I now refer to it in my book, though I put the term in quotes. Anyway, it looks like BMW's marketing team is still busy creating new 'clever marketing campaigns'. Alex Knight forwarded me this link to MOTORmate.com, which is a site that sells motoring accessories for Mini Cooper drivers. The accessories are pretty odd (such as a g-force indicator and a 'hey horn'). They're also very expensive. Which would lead one to assume that they're not real. But as far as I can tell, the site really is selling them. At least, the site was willing to take my credit card info when I clicked on the buy info, which is usually a decent sign that something is real (unless it's outright fraud).

Rad Monkey™ are the creators of the electric cowbell:

Nothing can be more disheartening for the modern cowbellist than to find the sound of his instrument drowned out by the overpowering volume of today's electric guitars and drums. That sweet tone -- crafted and refined through hard work -- is lost in the din before it ever reaches the audience.
Cowbellists around the world are turning to Rad Monkey™ Electric Cowbells to level the playing field. The Rad Monkey™ XLM500's active pickup provides ear-drum splitting power, allowing your cowbell to cut through any sonic onslaught. Anywhere. Anytime.

I'm assuming this is a hoax (the fact that the only thing it's possible to buy through their site is a t-shirt is a giveaway). I'm guessing it's a reference to the 'More Cowbell' Saturday Night Live skit in which Christopher Walken played a record producer helping Blue Oyster Cult to produce their song "Don't Fear the Reaper". (via Red Ferret)

Here's a service that allows brides to make sure their guests give gifts that are of a high enough value:

Answer a few simple questions and we'll analyze the assets of your guests, decide their appropriate level of giving, and provide you with invoices that you can include in your invitations. It's not rude, it's helpful!

Unfortunately it's one of those joke sites that feel compelled to print a disclaimer ("this site is a parody. if you actually think this a good idea, there is something wrong with your priorities.") I often wonder why sites do this. I guess enough people actually fail to recognize when things are a joke to make it necessary.

Here's something for the jealous, paranoid lover: forget-me-not panties. They're panties with a built-in gps device, so you'll always know where the wearer of them is.

This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.

I think the site is one of the entries for the Contagious Media Project.

Last week I linked to The Black Spider Club, which describes itself as "the worlds most exclusive club". Today I've received an email from this exclusive club:

Hello Alex
Can you please remove the 'Black Spider Club' from your website. We are not
a hoax and by listing us on your site, you have made us feature on google.
Thanking you in advance
Regards
Membership

I feel kind of special that they noticed me, them being so exclusive and all. However, I'm not sure how to react to their request. Are they serious? If they are, is there some kind of right to privacy on the internet? You can create a site, but then ask no one to link to it? Anyway, I never said they were a hoax (I just want to clarify that). I don't actually have any idea what they are.

Are your kids out of control, but you don't like the idea of spanking them? Then the BratZapper might be the solution for you. It's the high-tech electrical way to discipline children:

In a society such as ours its no longer appropriate to hit a problem child or spank them with a belt. In these political correct times such disciplinary measures are frowned upon. BRATZAPPER leaves no marks and the slight discomfort felt by the child is over in moments with no after pain. Bratzapper is totally safe and effective and will NEVER harm your child in any way when used as directed.

Here's a good idea: Google Content Blocker. It allows you to block all that annoying content, so you only have to see the ads:

Google's mission is to organize the world's advertising for maximum exposure to Web users. Unfortunately, annoying Web content often overwhelms the page, causing many users to become distracted and overlook the ads. That's where Google Content Blocker comes in. It effectively blocks all Web site content, leaving only the advertisements...
After you install Google Content Block, just surf the Web as you normally do. When we find a site that has content, we will block that content so you see only the ads. It all happens automatically, with no effort on your part.

Brought to you by John Walkenback of J-Walk, who has also brought us the Nigerian Email Conference and the WiFi Speed Spray.

Watch out all you people who enjoy hitting golf balls. Justice will be done:

GOLF BALLS ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE READY FOR A NEW LEADER.
HERE'S A WARNING FROM THE GOLF BALL LIBERATION FRONT.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!
THE GOLF BALL LIBERATION ARMY IS ON THE WAY!

The Black Spider Club bills itself as "the worlds most exclusive club".

"We are not listed on any search engine, and we do not publicise ourselves, for you to have found this site means you were referred by one of our illustrious members."

I haven't been able to find any info about what this 'club' actually is. It indeed doesn't appear in any search engines. So maybe it's really a club, or maybe it's an alternative reality game. I don't know. But if it is a club, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't accept me as a member. (thanks to Steve Combe for the link)

For all those occasions when a kid would come in handy (I can't think of any), RentMySon.com offers the solution. Just call them up and they'll send a kid over. They rent out kids for proms, birthday parties, father/son events, etc. And if you'd like to make a little bit of extra money by hiring out your kid, they'll arrange that too. (Yes, the site is a hoax).