Hoax Museum Blog: Celebrities

Elvis Water Sells for $455 — image This is of interest only as yet more proof that the sell-junk-on-eBay gag will never, ever end:

Wade Jones of North Carolina says he snared a plastic cup from which Elvis Presley drank at a concert in 1977 and kept the cup and the water for 27 years before selling the remaining few tablespoons of water on eBay. The winning bid for the water was $455. He says he won't sell the cup.
Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004.   Comments (11)

Imagine John Lennon Singing Pro-War Songs in Heaven — image Ever wondered how John Lennon is getting along in Heaven? According to 'internationally known' psychic Linda Polley he's doing very well. She's been channeling his spirit and reporting on what's going on with him. You can read all the latest news on the John Lennon and George Harrison's Official Website from the Afterlife. The biggest surprise is that John has "officially divorced his former partner Yoko Ono Lennon for her support of homosexuality" and decided to marry a dancer named Mary Marie Francesca. Oh, and John has also penned many news songs, which he shares with the people back on earth via Linda Polley. Most of the songs are about his new pro-war views and his strong support for the Bush administration's policies in Iraq. For instance, one recent work is titled Hussein's Butt Song (it's all about how we kicked Hussein's butt), and there's also the catchy Vote for Allawi! To be honest, I'm not sure whether or not any of this is meant to be taken seriously (I kind of suspect it is). But one thing I do find oddly incongruous. Linda Polley claims that all the songs have been composed by John Lennon, and yet she simultaneously makes a point of claiming copyright, warning that "None of the lyrics or the audio files may be copied without the precise consent of Speaker Linda Polley." But if John Lennon wrote the songs, why does she own the copyright?
Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2004.   Comments (36)

Is This Jaleel White? — image A photo of a young, trendy-looking guy has been doing the email rounds (click here for a larger version), with the caption: "This is Jaleel White." Jaleel White, of course, is better known for playing the character of super-nerd Steve Urkel on Family Matters (I've also heard many rumors that he plays the Mr. Six character in those Six Flags commercials, but I don't think that's true). I guess people are just amazed that White wouldn't be more like Urkel in real life. As for whether the picture really shows Jaleel White, I'm not sure. There's a recent picture of him on his blog on NBA.com. I guess it could be him if he shaved his hair off. (via thighs wide shut / You Can't Make It Up)
Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2004.   Comments (112)

The Church of Tom Jones — image This doesn't appear to be a church for those that worship Tom Jones. Instead, it's just a church for those who enjoy listening to Tom Jones music (I think the former would have been slightly more interesting). Also, I don't think it's a joke. Or maybe it is, and I don't get it. Pastor Jack, the guy who runs the church, seems to have been spooking around for quite a while. He boasts that in 1997 he was voted Strangest Person in America. That would be something to put on a resume. (via Holy Weblog)
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2004.   Comments (10)


Clooney’s Anti-Bush Blog — Defamer reports (via A Fly on the Wall) that George Clooney has his own weblog, titled A Chronicle of Bush's Failures. It's purely political, focusing (as you might guess from the title) on all of Bush's shortcomings. The question is, is this really Clooney's blog? I'm not convinced, mainly because whoever is writing the blog doesn't seem to claim anywhere that he or she is Clooney. And I'm not sure why we should believe A Fly on the Wall's anonymous source. More likely it's some blogger trying to attract traffic by spreading a rumor that he's George Clooney.
Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004.   Comments (5)

Nick Nolte’s Blog — Here's yet another possible faux celebrity blog. This time it's the blog of Nick Nolte. It's probably becoming a sign of status in Hollywood to have a faux blog... it shows that someone out there cares enough about you to want to pretend to be you. Imagine all the forgotten stars waiting desperately for someone to create a fake blog about them. Maybe they eventually break down and pay someone to pretend to be them... which would make it a faux faux celebrity blog. Lost in Technophilia argues that the reason to believe the Nick Nolte blog isn't real is because the domain name is registered to someone called "Christian Newton" living at 501 Privacy Lane, Santa Monica, CA 90402. Obviously a fake address. Or maybe Nick Nolte just didn't want to give out his real address.
Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004.   Comments (4)

Martha Serving — Someone called Martha (I wonder which Martha that could be?) who's recently been incarcerated in a federal prison has got a new blog up and running. She's already working on plans to redecorate her new surroundings:

I'm going to use toilet paper and threads taken from my bedsheets to quilt some nice drapes. I've been talking to some people on the outside about sneaking in some potpourri for me. This place is severly lacking in fine scents!
Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004.   Comments (2)

Britney’s Wedding Night Skivvies — image Britney Spears' wedding-night underwear is up for sale on eBay, nabbed by someone working on the catering staff at the house where she stayed. It's guaranteed to be 100% authentic, so I guess it can't be a hoax. Right? Not like her used chewing gum that was up for sale about a month ago. Better bid on this fast before the auction is pulled by eBay.
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004.   Comments (11)

Britney Spears Used Chewing Gum — Britney Spears' used chewing gum is the latest craze on eBay. Just do an eBay keyword search for Britney's Gum and all kinds of stuff comes up. Apparently there must be hordes of people following Britney around, devotedly picking up her gum (probably are). When I saw the article about Britney's gum, I actually thought it was old news. Didn't someone sell a piece of her used gum about a year or two ago? Or maybe I'm thinking of the time someone sold a piece of french toast NOT eaten by Justin Timberlake; or the time someone sold Paris Hilton's pubic hair. So much fake celebrity detritus constantly being sold on eBay. It's hard to keep track of it all.
Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004.   Comments (10)

Quentin Tarantino’s Weblog — image Quentin Tarantino has supposedly joined the ranks of bloggers, having set up his own blog over on blogspot. I guess even though he's a multi-millionaire Hollywood director, he couldn't afford to spring for a fancier setup... had to go for the blogspot thing (that's also conveniently anonymous). There's no way to prove or disprove whether Tarantino himself is really authoring this thing. The flesh-and-blood Tarantino hasn't made any public comment about it. Here's what blogger-Tarantino says about why you should believe he is who he claims to be:
I don't want to turn this into a press promotion thing and that's what I told Miramax when I started it (with their cooperation). If you really want proof this blog is genuine, you can find it by contacting Miramax or whatever -- but I'm not going to be making public announcements about the blog. If fans ask me, shit yeah I'll tell the truth, but if I make a national announcement this'll just become a publicity stint, and I never intended it to be that way. This is for the fans, and if they trust me then fine -- if they don't, all I can say is that convincing a few of them isn't worth ruining it by telling reporters who'll post it all over the 'Net and daily news. In this case the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

JoBlo of JoBlo's Movie Emporium says that he's contacted Miramax to check out if Tarantino's blog is for real, but he hasn't posted their response yet.
Update: Tarantino's publicist, Bumble Ward, confirms that blogger-Tarantino is a fake. As Ward puts it: "It's fake. The guy is doing a great job though, don't you think? And truly, I'd hate to ruin his fun. But it's fake. Quentin hardly knows what a mouse is."
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004.   Comments (7)

William Hung Not Dead Yet — image I've noted before how popular celebrity death hoaxes have become. In fact, it's kind of like a weird sign of status for a celebrity to have their death falsely reported. It shows people care, in a sick and twisted way. Britney still leads the pack, having been killed in car crashes many times, but now American Idol anti-star William Hung has joined this elite group of prematurely-reported-dead celebrities. Reports of his death via heroin overdose have been spreading all around the internet. They originated from a faux-news piece on Broken Newz. His suicide note was particularly touching: "I have no reason of living... my art which is my importance to the best everybody laugh to... I make end here... goodbye world of cruel." (via David Emery's Urban Legends and Folklore)
Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2004.   Comments (89)

Be A Celeb — Fake blogs are a growing trend on the web. Just recently we saw Plain Layne exposed as Odin Soli. But now, with the advent of an online role-playing game called Be A Celeb, the fake-blog phenomenon seems to be rising to a whole new level. The goal of Be A Celeb is to create a convincing fake celebrity blog. You can choose to be whatever celebrity you like, as long as someone else hasn't already taken the celebrity. Celebrities already in play include Clay Aiken, Jessica Biel, and Kirsten Dunst. Once you've created your fake celebrity, you can then make them interact with other fake celebrities... kind of like a strange alternative reality Hollywood, or LiveJournal Celebrity Sims.
An article about this game has been posted on morons.org. I'm wondering if they'd let me play either Plain Layne or Kaycee Nicole Swenson as a character... though they'd probably say they don't qualify as 'celebrities.'... or what would happen if a real celebrity began playing themselves as a fake celebrity? The mind boggles.
Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004.   Comments (5)

Ian Hislop Mania — image Got this contribution from Chris 'Crispy' Philpot in the UK:

BBC Television in the UK showed an episode of topical news quiz 'Have I Got News For You' that picked up on the ex-wife's knickers on eBay story. It said how useless tat could reach an astonishing price - going on to show the auction... for a signed photograph of Ian Hislop, a team captain on the show. At the time it had no bids and 6 hits.... Bidding went crazy - it started off quite sensibly and climbed to £5,000 without trouble. Then the silly bids flew in, and eventually the price reached £10,000,000 before bids were slowly pulled.

I don't think this is the actual photo that sparked the mania, but it's an identical copy. Anyway, the story continues:

this has started a new hoax on eBay - putting 'Ian Hislop' in the item title or selling bad copies of the photograph!

The following auctions are a mere sampling of this strange new Ian Hislop mania that's gripping eBay UK:

Posted: Sun May 23, 2004.   Comments (1)

Andy Has Returned… And He’s Got A Weblog — I should never have doubted that Andy Kaufman wouldn't return. He's now back from the dead (or the faux dead), and he's started a weblog. Among the things he's learned while away: alien abductions are a hoax, and he's Ann Coulter's twin. (via J-Walk)
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004.   Comments (0)

Where’s Andy? — Today's the day Andy Kaufman is supposed to return from the dead... twenty years to the day after his 'death.' But it's only 5 pm here in California. He has a couple of hours left to make an appearance.
Posted: Sun May 16, 2004.   Comments (0)

Dumb, or Just Playing Dumb? — Here's a question that the world's greatest minds have yet to answer: are pop stars who appear to be dumb really that dumb, or are they just faking it? For instance, does Britney Spears really not know who Yoko Ono is, or is she just pretending not to know in order to cultivate her airhead image and generate free publicity? Nancy Snow, a professor at Cal State Fullerton, says it's all an act: "People at that level are always 'on' — they know what they're saying... it's kind of a sweetheart deal between them and the media. It really helps to feed the publicity machine." (via Sexy Pop Culture)
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004.   Comments (5)

Will Andy Kaufman Return? — image Some say Andy Kaufman died on May 16, 1984. Some say he didn't. But whatever the case may be, Kaufman said that if he did fake his death, he would return 20 years later, and May 16, 2004 will be the 20th anniversary of his 'death.' In honor of this, Comic Relief will be holding an 'Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive' show at the LA House of Blues on May 16. Perhaps Andy himself will put in an appearance. (Thanks, Julie)
Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Spacey’s Faux Mugging — Kevin Spacey has recanted on his claim that he was mugged in a London park at 4 am and had his cellphone stolen. What he meant to say was that he voluntarily handed over his phone to someone who asked if they could use it to call their mother, but instead ran away with it. Then Spacey tripped over his dog and cut his head. Not quite the same. But saying you were mugged sounds a little more respectable than admitting you fell for what is, quite literally, the oldest con in the book (the origin of the term con, or 'confidence scam,' dates back to the 1840s when a swindler named William Thompson would approach gentlemen on the streets of New York and ask them if they had enough confidence to lend their watch to a stranger. Upon being handed the watch, Thompson would simply walk away with it. Substitute cellphone for watch and you have what Spacey fell for.) (Thanks, Goo)
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004.   Comments (3)

Celebrity Look-Alikes — image Fake Faces is a UK look-alike agency that represents a huge number of celebrity impersonators. It's kind of fun to browse through its catalog. As John Robinson of Sore Eyes notes, some of the look-alikes are really, really bad. But some are surprisingly good. For instance, would you be able to tell if that's really Joanna Lumley (of Ab Fab fame) in the thumbnail? It's not. (via Sore Eyes and I Love Everything)
Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004.   Comments (2)

Jackson isn’t dead, nor is he touring Namibia — Sam Nujoma, President of Namibia, eagerly waited for the arrival of Michael Jackson, whom he believed was launching a 12-day tour of Africa in his country. Unfortunately, he waited and waited, and Jackson never showed up. In fact, Jackson never had any plans to visit Africa. Nujoma was the victim of misinformation. Jackson isn't even allowed to travel abroad until the case against him is settled.
Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2004.   Comments (0)

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