2 of 3
2
pretty bad jokes
Posted: 09 September 2005 03:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  56862
Joined  2005-02-10
Charybdis - 09 September 2005 07:08 PM

Patient : Doctor, it hurts when I do this!

Doctor : Then don’t do that.

My best friend’s grandfather was a doctor during WW1 (he was quite elderly when his daughter was born) and he allegedly said that sort of thing when supplies were low…

 Signature 

2-15-15 9-19 1 19-16-15-18-11 7-15-4-4-5-19-19 15-6 13-9-7-8-20
Turnip Boris Yeltsin frog juggling doormat termite lizard

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years! Indeed it has. And then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became medicine. And the rest of it’s just a nice bowl of soup and some pot pourri.” - Dara O’Briain

Profile
 
 
Posted: 10 September 2005 09:05 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
Member
Avatar
RankRankRank
Total Posts:  111
Joined  2005-06-15

what do you call a sheep with no legs?
a cloud.

oh yeah boo, ive been meaning to tell you that i love your icon…zim rocks.

 Signature 

“This is the last time you’ll whack your Willy in school again!”

Profile
 
 
Posted: 10 September 2005 02:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  56862
Joined  2005-02-10

ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
grin

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
Woolly jumpers!

Ba boom ching!

 Signature 

2-15-15 9-19 1 19-16-15-18-11 7-15-4-4-5-19-19 15-6 13-9-7-8-20
Turnip Boris Yeltsin frog juggling doormat termite lizard

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years! Indeed it has. And then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became medicine. And the rest of it’s just a nice bowl of soup and some pot pourri.” - Dara O’Briain

Profile
 
 
Posted: 11 September 2005 07:24 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  6453
Joined  2004-11-08
Winona - 09 September 2005 07:06 PM

A guy went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, and then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor replied, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”

This was my mom’s favorite joke for a while.

Never play cards with cats.  They’re Cheetahs.

 Signature 

I’m loving the puppies.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 14 September 2005 07:06 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 16 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  8164
Joined  2005-02-06

Ren

 Signature 

———
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134

Profile
 
 
Posted: 14 September 2005 07:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 17 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  26363
Joined  2004-11-29

LOL LaMa!

 Signature 

Remember, a Dragon is for life!

Profile
 
 
Posted: 15 September 2005 05:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 18 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5801
Joined  2004-11-11

The Ranch Hand

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved ! to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.! You should go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock, and no hired hand.  He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

“Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unb! uttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

“Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired..”

 Signature 

http://www.truovrld.blogspot.com

Profile
 
 
Posted: 16 September 2005 11:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 19 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5153
Joined  2005-01-11

lol tru, very good! LOL

 Signature 

If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 16 September 2005 11:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 20 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5071
Joined  2005-03-16

The Descartes joke reminded me of this one:

A farmer discovered his horse was extraordinarily intelligent. You could ask it an arithmetic problem, and it would tap out the answer with a hoof. Researchers were fascinated and tested the horse. They discovered the horse understood algebra, Euclidean geometry, calculus, and even group theory. However, when they gave the horse problems with Cartesian coordinates, it just stood there dumbly, like any horse. This was quite surprising, given how intelligent the horse was otherwise. They brought in an expert who examined the situation and explained the problem: “Of course the horse cannot understand any Cartesian coordinates you show it. You are putting Descartes before the horse.”

(For non English speakers, putting the cart before the horse is another way of saying ‘Begin at the proper place; do things in their proper order.’ )

Profile
 
 
Posted: 18 September 2005 04:44 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 21 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5153
Joined  2005-01-11

Why did the chicken cross the road?


(Do you really have to read to the end of this one?)


To get to the other side!!!!

 Signature 

If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 18 September 2005 08:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 22 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  26363
Joined  2004-11-29

Why did the bubblegum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

 Signature 

Remember, a Dragon is for life!

Profile
 
 
   
2 of 3
2
 
‹‹ Spamamusement!      Things To Do In ... ››