1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night…  One was assaulted.

2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

3. “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.”
“Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”

4. What’s brown and sticky?  A stick.

5. Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.

6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin’ Catholic.

7. What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.

8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.

9. Why can’t a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.

10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: “Who put the violin in the violin case?”

Told you they were bad… as taken from http://www.jokes2go.com/lists/list15.html

oops, missed half the list!

11. How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?

12. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.

13. What’s brown and sounds like a bell?  Dung.

14. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.

15. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.

16. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That’s because he hides well.

17. What was the centerpiece of the annual
Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.

18. Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.

19. Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of anty-bodies.

And you weren’t kidding were you???

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman walked into a pub.  The bartender asks “is this a joke?”

The Energizer Bunny was arrested yesterday.
- He was charged with battery.

theres 2 muffins in an oven. one muffin goes, “oh crap, its getting hot in here.” the other muffin says “oh crap, a talking muffin.”

RAMONESxMANIA - 21 August 2005 06:31 PM

theres 2 muffins in an oven. one muffin goes, “oh crap, its getting hot in here.” the other muffin says “oh crap, a talking muffin.”

That one I like!

I love bad jokes! But then I am very easily amused

Archimedes:  “Eureka!”
Passerby:  “Well, you don’t smell too great, yourself!”

A guy went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, and then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor replied, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”

Patient : Doctor, it hurts when I do this!

Doctor : Then don’t do that.

Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor : The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient : 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?

Doctor : I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.