Okay. Here’s one I heard a while ago:
An old man and his daughter visit a nursing home, to see if the old man might be comfortable living there.
When they get there, they are given a tour of the facility and are then escorted into the director’s office.
The director greets them and begins detailing all of the wonderful facilities and services his nursing home has to offer.
After about five minutes, the old man begins to slowly tip to his right.
A nurse’s aide rushes from where she was standing quietly in the corner and gently straightens the old man back up.
After another few minutes, the old man begins to slowly lean to his left.
Once again the nurse’s aide rushes forward and helps straighten the old man.
The old man sits still for a while, but after about five more minutes begins to slowly lean forward in his chair.
The nurse’s aide rushes forward and helps the old man to straighten up once more.
Impressed by the attentiveness of the staff, the daughter asks her father what he thinks of the nursing home.
He pauses for a few moments and says, “It seems nice enough, but why won’t they let me fart?” 
