One day at the Nursing Home….
Posted: 09 May 2009 11:47 AM   [ Ignore ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  10731
Joined  2008-02-21

Okay. Here’s one I heard a while ago:

An old man and his daughter visit a nursing home, to see if the old man might be comfortable living there.
When they get there, they are given a tour of the facility and are then escorted into the director’s office.
The director greets them and begins detailing all of the wonderful facilities and services his nursing home has to offer.
After about five minutes, the old man begins to slowly tip to his right.
A nurse’s aide rushes from where she was standing quietly in the corner and gently straightens the old man back up.
After another few minutes, the old man begins to slowly lean to his left.
Once again the nurse’s aide rushes forward and helps straighten the old man.
The old man sits still for a while, but after about five more minutes begins to slowly lean forward in his chair.
The nurse’s aide rushes forward and helps the old man to straighten up once more.
Impressed by the attentiveness of the staff, the daughter asks her father what he thinks of the nursing home.
He pauses for a few moments and says, “It seems nice enough, but why won’t they let me fart?”  cheese

 Signature 

“Always, I Do What Is Necessary” - Rissa Kerguelen
Go to my Blog. It’s lonely.

I Am Still The Black Swan Of Trespass On Alien Waters
To the believer no proof is required; to the skeptic no proof is sufficient.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 09 May 2009 02:37 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2501
Joined  2008-03-23

Veddy Funny

 Signature 

Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

Profile
 
 
Posted: 09 May 2009 02:38 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  10731
Joined  2008-02-21

I liked it! cheese

 Signature 

“Always, I Do What Is Necessary” - Rissa Kerguelen
Go to my Blog. It’s lonely.

I Am Still The Black Swan Of Trespass On Alien Waters
To the believer no proof is required; to the skeptic no proof is sufficient.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 09 May 2009 02:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2501
Joined  2008-03-23

ive been expecting vou!
*Happy birth—*
wrong forum

 Signature 

Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

Profile
 
 
Posted: 09 May 2009 06:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  3763
Joined  2007-06-07
silver caliber magnum - 09 May 2009 06:41 PM

ive been expecting vou!
*Happy birth—*
wrong forum

*is very, very confused*

I like that one, I’m going to tell it to my grandfather grin

 Signature 

Today is the day you worried about yesterday, and all is well…Except that the well is dry, the toilet is overflowing and a flock of meese just pooped in your back yard…

Profile