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How To Get Out Of A Ticket
Posted: 07 March 2009 11:50 PM   [ Ignore ]
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A police officer pulls over a man who was driving down the road well over the speed limit. The officer asks the man to show his proof of insurance and ID.

“Alright,” says the man. “They’re in my glovebox. Just so you know though, I keep marijuana and heroin and a whole lot of other illegal drugs in there also. Oh, I also keep a lot of unregistered automatic firearms and if you check the trunk of my car, don’t be surprised to find a lot of illegal aliens that I had just smuggled into the country.”

The policeman panics at this and quickly calls for backup and the SWAT to perform a complete search of the man’s car is made. Finally, the search is done.

“What’s going on here?” asks a SWAT agent. “There aren’t any drugs or weapons or aliens in this car!”

“Of course not!” says the man indignantly. “And next I suppose this officer will be telling you that I was speeding!”

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“It’s not that I don’t think that the government would try to hide dead aliens; it’s that I don’t think the government would succeed, since every time the government tries to do something secretly, as in the Iran-contra arms deal, it winds up displaying all the finesse and stealth of an exploding cigar at a state funeral.”

~Dave Barry

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Posted: 21 April 2009 05:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Im gonna try that one.

Keep your eyes peeled in the obituaries for me LOL

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