Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
Friday, October 31, 2008
Potato
A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.
He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.
A&E;nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
“But it’s not for me to question his story.”
She went on to reveal other objects removed from people’s derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.
I have two questions:
First, why would anyone be hanging curtains in the nude, anyhow?
And second, just how hard would someone have to fall on something like that to get it lodged up there?
Neither do I….I just have a hard time believing his story. I mean, seriously, who leaves potatoes on a table? And how big was this potato that wouldn’t come out on its own?
First, why would anyone be hanging curtains in the nude, anyhow?
So you have an excuse when something gets stuck up your bum while having sex games.
Duh!
Crafty Dragon - 12 November 2008 09:02 PM
And how big was this potato that wouldn’t come out on its own?
Having heard stories from people in the medical field (I lived in Vegas for eight years - I’ve heard some stories!) it doesn’t have to be overly big. It just has to be in far enough that you can’t grab it to get it out.
The ‘I fell on X while naked’ story is pretty much a given code phrase meaning ‘yes, it was put up there deliberately, but I’m not going to admit it, just get the damn thing out’..
One of the guys on my high school football team ended up with a travel size shampoo bottle in his bum. They had won a game on the road, and were all rough housing in the shower, and…there you go.
First, why would anyone be hanging curtains in the nude, anyhow?
So you have an excuse when something gets stuck up your bum while having sex games.
Duh!
Crafty Dragon - 12 November 2008 09:02 PM
And how big was this potato that wouldn’t come out on its own?
Having heard stories from people in the medical field (I lived in Vegas for eight years - I’ve heard some stories!) it doesn’t have to be overly big. It just has to be in far enough that you can’t grab it to get it out.
Wouldn’t it… um… eventually… pass? I mean if it was given time? And why a potato for gods sake? Seriously, who looks at a potato and say hmmm that’d sure feel good in my bum…
Wouldn’t it… um… eventually… pass? I mean if it was given time?
In theory, yes. But the muscles involved there aren’t all that strong and could take a long, long time to do that. And having that opening completely blocked up for a week or two or even longer would get to be rather. . .problematic.
Plus if things turn sideways, it can be bad. Additionally, if there’s any edges that are sharp and hard enough, they *can* puncture the colon, which is nigh-fatal due to the amount of blood vessels in there. ‘Died gushing blood out the anus’ is NOT something you want on your tombstone.
Plus if things turn sideways, it can be bad. Additionally, if there’s any edges that are sharp and hard enough, they *can* puncture the colon, which is nigh-fatal due to the amount of blood vessels in there. ‘Died gushing blood out the anus’ is NOT something you want on your tombstone.
