This is a very sad article but only because it’s so widespread.  There have been, however, many people who lived this before mostly in silence simply because their stories, being more isolated, were not noteworthy to the media. 

I’m also putting this here because I was one of those who lived it and very nearly took some of the same steps but only toward myself.  Nearly every day I remember how close I came and if I had succeeded, I would never have met Erik, and would never have met all of you or had a plucking parrot sleeping beside me every night, or a senile, toothless cat chasing mice….......I would never have become ‘hulitoons’............  I hope anyone reading this who is dangerously close to any of this will wait and get help and if there is no one else, you can always PM me and believe me, I will understand: 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/13/economy.violence.ap/index.html

(AP)—An out-of-work money manager in California loses a fortune and wipes out his family in a murder-suicide.
The Switchboard of Miami has recorded more than 500 foreclosure-related calls this year.

The Switchboard of Miami has recorded more than 500 foreclosure-related calls this year.

A 90-year-old Ohio widow shoots herself in the chest as authorities arrive to evict her from the modest house she called home for 38 years.

In Massachusetts, a housewife who had hidden her family’s mounting financial crisis from her husband sends a note to the mortgage company warning: “By the time you foreclose on my house, I’ll be dead.“ Then Carlene Balderrama shot herself to death, leaving an insurance policy and a suicide note on a table.

Across the country, authorities are becoming concerned that the nation’s financial woes could turn increasingly violent, and they are urging people to get help. In some places, mental-health hot lines are jammed, counseling services are in high demand and domestic-violence shelters are full.

“I’ve had a number of people say that this is the thing most reminiscent of 9/11 that’s happened here since then,“ said the Rev. Canon Ann Malonee, vicar at Trinity Church in the heart of New York’s financial district. “It’s that sense of having the rug pulled out from under them.“

With nowhere else to turn, many people are calling suicide-prevention hot lines. The Samaritans of New York have seen calls rise more than 16 percent in the past year, many of them money-related. The Switchboard of Miami has recorded more than 500 foreclosure-related calls this year.

“A lot of people are telling us they are losing everything. They’re losing their homes, they’re going into foreclosure, they’ve lost their jobs,“ said Virginia Cervasio, executive director of a suicide resource enter in southwest Florida’s Lee County.

But tragedies keep mounting:

• In Los Angeles, California, last week, a former money manager fatally shot his wife, three sons and his mother-in-law before killing himself.

Karthik Rajaram, 45, left a suicide note saying he was in financial trouble and contemplated killing just himself. But he said he decided to kill his entire family because that was more honorable, police said.
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After the murder-suicide, police and mental-health officials in Los Angeles took the unusual step of urging people to seek help for themselves or loved ones if they feel overwhelmed by grim financial news. They said they were specifically afraid of the “copycat phenomenon.“

“This is a perfect American family behind me that has absolutely been destroyed, apparently because of a man who just got stuck in a rabbit hole, if you will, of absolute despair,“ Deputy Police Chief Michel Moore said. “It is critical to step up and recognize we are in some pretty troubled times.“

• In Tennessee, a woman fatally shot herself last week as sheriff’s deputies went to evict her from her foreclosed home.

Pamela Ross, 57, and her husband were fighting foreclosure on their home when sheriff’s deputies in Sevierville came to serve an eviction notice. They were across the street when they heard a gunshot and found Ross dead from a wound to the chest. The case was even more tragic because the couple had recently been granted an extra 10 days to appeal.

• In Akron, Ohio, the 90-year-old widow who shot herself on Oct. 1 is recovering. A congressman told Addie Polk’s story on the House floor before lawmakers voted to approve a $700 billion financial rescue package. Mortgage finance company Fannie Mae dropped the foreclosure, forgave her mortgage and said she could remain in the home.

• In Ocala, Florida, Roland Gore shot his wife and dog in March and then set fire to the couple’s home, which had been in foreclosure, before killing himself. His case was one of several in which people killed spouses or pets, destroyed property or attacked police before taking their own lives.

“The financial stress builds up to the point the person feels they can’t go on, and the person believes their family is better off dead than left without a financial support,“ said Kristen Rand, legislative director of the Washington D.C.-based Violence Policy Center.

Dr. Edward Charlesworth, a clinical psychologist in Houston, Texas, said the current crisis is breeding a sense of chronic anxiety among people who feel helpless and panic-stricken, as well as angry that their government has let them down.

stories continue on next post

stories continue

“They feel like in this great society that we live in we should have more protection for the individuals rather than just the corporation,“ he said.

It’s not yet clear there is a statistical link between suicides and the financial downturn since there is generally a two-year lag in national suicide figures. But historically, suicides increase in times of economic hardship. And the current financial crisis is already being called the worst since the Great Depression.

Counselors at Catholic Charities USA report seeing a “significant increase” in the need for housing counseling.

One mental health counselor said half of her clients were on some form of antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. The agency has seen a decrease in overall funding, but it has expanded foreclosure counseling and received nearly $2 million for such services in late 2007.

Adding to financially tense households is an air of secrecy. Experts said it’s common for one spouse to blame the other for their financial mess or to hide it entirely, as Balderrama did.

After falling 31/2 years behind in payments, the Taunton, Massachusetts, housewife had been intercepting letters from the mortgage company and shredding them before her husband saw them. She tried to refinance but was declined.

In July, on the day the house was to be auctioned, she faxed the note to the mortgage company. Then the 52-year-old walked outside, shot her three beloved cats and then herself with her husband’s rifle.

Notes left on the table revealed months of planning. She’d picked out her funeral home, laid out the insurance policy and left a note saying, “pay off the house with the insurance money.“

“She put in her suicide note that it got overwhelming for her,“ said her husband, John Balderrama. “Apparently she didn’t have anyone to talk to. She didn’t come to me. I don’t know why. There’s gotta be some help out there for people that are hurting, (something better) than to see somebody lose a life over a stupid house.“

Pretty much any sort of bad news, no matter how much it might be only a potential for something unpleasant happening at some unspecified future date, can cause people to act like this.  It’s like those people who hear rumours about a giant meteor soon to hit Earth, worry that it might kill them, and so shoot their entire family and then commit suicide.

Acci, these are not stories about ‘potential’ calamity however, these are stories about people in the midst of it. 

The last story is the most compelling to me.

hulitoons - 14 October 2008 02:45 AM

Acci, these are not stories about ‘potential’ calamity however, these are stories about people in the midst of it.

I know.  But it’s similar in that these people see this as the only possible “solution”, and also decide that it’s the “best” thing for their loved ones as well.  In any sort of wide-spread unpleasantness, this sort of thing seems to happen.  It’s strange.

This happens even when it is not widespread, but you seldom hear about it and if you do it’s more or less just a kind of sideline story.  This time. it’s true, a wider population can and will identify with the victims, or at least pay more attention. 

When I was laying carpet (assist helper), we would often be sent to apartments (or homes) of people who’d been evicted because they’d lost everything.  Setting fire was one of the top actions taken.  Hunkering down with guns was another. 

You’d be surprised how quickly every thing can spiral for people otherwise considered ‘civilized’ and ‘stable’.  The usual start position is usually loss of employment though and then everything is downhill from that point.

This is really sad.  BUT.  Ugh.  If people hadn’t over extended themselves, if lenders had been more vigilant about WHO got a loan HOW…I don’t think it would be so horrific.

Sure, some of the problems may be related to actual strife….loss of a job, sickness…etc.  But if people hadn’t looked to an easy out by refinancing with ARMs, or putting everything on a credit card…this would not be such a crisis I think.

Right now, I can find 4 apartment complexes where Jason and I could pay a lower rent (only by about $200 at most, but still lower)...sure we’d be in a much smaller place, but that would be an extra $200 for necessities.  Yes, we’d have to move from the only home that our children have ever known - but all of our bills would be lower.  People WANT to stay in their homes, and have newer vehicles.  So instead of just getting rid of the cars at a loss (heck, to me a $5,000 debt is much better than a $30,000 debt), and moving into a rental for a while…they start paying for necessities with credit cards.  They should have cut off the internet, cable, and telephone a long time ago.  Definitely keep your cell phones, but switch to a lower plan and watch who you call.  You don’t need to spend every moment in communication with someone.  My brother is renting, but he has a truck that is horrible on gas, and has a high interest rate.  It’s just too much for him.  I’ve told him 10 times (at least!), sell the truck!  “But I’ll be upside on it…I can’t sell it to pay back the loan.“  SO WHAT?  You owe $20,000 now…and you’ll be in debt for that much until it’s gone.  Sell it for $15,000…it’s easier to pay off the $5,000.

People want to keep this illusion that everything is fine.  As long as it still LOOKS okay on the surface, it IS okay.  Until the bank officers show up with foreclosure notices.

Basic inability to deal with stress, real or perceived.  Some people fall into depression very easily and once there can make rash decisions without a care for the consequences.  In the cases mentioned above the people apparently thought they had no other recourse and in the state of mind they were in took the only way out that made sense to them.  Unfortunately in cases like that because of the depression they don’t seek the help they need.

This is all very real for me guyz ...

I have been suicidal in the recent past over all this and more. Lost my house to foreclosure because I got a divorce from my wife of 20 years over a relationship with someone I shouldn’t have been messing with. My kids are now living under the roofs of strangers since I cannot afford a place of my own.  I have no car since I got drunk over the loss of all this stuff and nearly killed myself driving drunk until I crashed into a couple of light posts and now I get to go to court tomorrow (10-15-08) and see what other financial and social penalties are placed on me for my inability to cope rationally with all the loss. Top that off with me having to find a different job since my job is moving to Detroit and I cannot afford to commute or move closer to the relocation. It’s a wonderful life ... ...

It is a wonder that I haven’t offed myself to escape all the negative. I feel a ton of responsibility over the mess I have help create and try to financially assist my kids, am ordered by the court to assist my ex, and will be ordered by the court to pay for my transgression against the community. I feel a ton of pain over the guilty and pain I caused the other woman (and the loss of our friendship) in this mess as well.

I am coping with all of this without medication or a therapist of any sort. Sometimes it is REALLY hard to do and all I want to do is cry and run away, but that won’t solve a damn thing. Every therapist I have gone to has been ineffective or unwilling to assist me as my needs were beyond what they were capable of providing. It really sucked when I was seriously suicidal and had to wait 1.5 months to see a psychologist only to have them tell me that they were unwilling to issue me medication due to the severity of my depression and the combination of alcohol use to self medicate due to not having medications to attempt to help regulate my mental state. It was like a kick in the teeth - “you are too sick for me to help - go to the emergency room”. I waited for 45 days without offing myself to get help and the person I was counting on refused to do it! I can’t tell you how demoralizing and painful that was… and eventually I DID end up in the hospital (one month later after a lambasting from “the other woman”).

Life can be a cold hard bitch and the people who choose “the only way out” have a very good reason to feel that way in their mind. My father made that choice as did my great grandmother (both of them died in fires they were responsible for). I do not want to walk the same path as they did, but I have seriously contemplated it in the recent past and from the drama and pain I have endured since the choice NOT to do it I can say that I would NOT have regretted the choice had I have gone ahead with my plans.

My pain has altered my view of life permanently. These people have had similar traumatic events and didn’t see any other solution to their problems. I feel their pain. I feel that ending my life will just be a bigger burden on my kids and friends and that is not how I want to be remembered. Having said that, if I were to go, it would end my responsibility and pain - very attractive to someone who is hurting and at the lowest point in their lives ... ...

*gives Oppie lots of hugs*

Oppie I feel for you b/c I have felt like the pain is too overwhelming and I do at times now.  There are people who were ruined in the 1929 crash and decided that that was it, nothing else to live for.  Then I think of the members of my family who lived through things like rape and war and know that I have it very easy.  I have, thank God, chosen training in a profession (nursing) that I can live on even if the worst comes.  My husband is a prison guard which may help if the worst happens.  I know some people get tired of those who profess their belief but mine helps me get thru and to know that if I work hard enough I will be saved.  But unlike some I reliese I have to work at it all the time.

Robin Bobcat - 14 October 2008 05:15 PM

*gives Oppie lots of hugs*

*thinks that Joe needs as many hugs as possible and joins in*