STARING in shock at the computer screen, Alex Firestone felt sick.
Looking back at her was a glamorous photo of a woman she had given up for dead seven agonising years before — her mum.
She had aged, yet the angular face was unmistakable. Her nose even still bore a scar on the left nostril, caused by a long-discarded piercing.
One thing Alex didn’t recognise was her mother’s new name, Sandee McCann.
Writing had always been her hobby and according to her website she had published some of her romantic novels under this assumed name.
It was searching for the title of one of these stories, Sentimental Street, that had led Alex to her mum’s homepage.
Before she disappeared, when Alex was 15, “Sandee” was just an ordinary housewife known to all in Lake Worth, Florida, as Sandra Gebert, wife to John Gebert, 54, and mum to six children.
Tears welled in 21-year-old Alex’s eyes as the devastating truth finally dawned.
After Sandra, 42, left home claiming she was going on a short trip, she had flown to England, remarried and begun a new life as an author without a thought for the family she left behind.
Alex, who now lives in Lilburn, Georgia, explained: “I’d given up hope of ever seeing Mum again.
“When she first disappeared, I regularly scanned the net to see if I could track her down.
“But it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
“As time wore on I began to think she was dead in a ditch or buried under someone’s house.”
Then, in July this year, Alex suddenly recalled the title of one of her mum’s stories and decided to check for it online.
She said: “A link to an author’s site came up. When I clicked through, my heart stopped. Under the name Sandee McCann was my mum’s photo.
“I felt nauseous, then really happy to know she was alive.
“I read the biography section. Sickeningly, Mum said her proudest moment was having the courage to start a new life.
“She said she was hoping for a baby with her new husband, Michael.
Before she disappeared, when Alex was 15, “Sandee” was just an ordinary housewife known to all in Lake Worth, Florida, as Sandra Gebert, wife to John Gebert, 54, and mum to six children.
Tears welled in 21-year-old Alex’s eyes as the devastating truth finally dawned.
After Sandra, 42, left home claiming she was going on a short trip, she had flown to England, remarried and begun a new life as an author without a thought for the family she left behind.
A total of 6 years have passed then. Alex was 15 and is now 21 years old. I at first thought more in the ballpark of 15-20 years.
Children seldom understand the reasons for parents splitting up. One parent has to leave and that seems like abandonment; it also seems as if the one leaving betrayed the other parent.
I use the word ‘seems’ because that’s more true. Alex and her siblings feel two things: 1. that it was their fault, or 2. the parent simply doesn’t love them. And neither of those are usually true at all. Focus in this instance is on the mother as the bad guy because she is not ‘there’. The true reasons for her leaving may be based more upon ‘Dad’ than the children realize and if that’s the case, he is not going to be as forthcoming with details either.
As is often quoted, ‘never judge a book by its cover’; the truth of the story inside is usually very different.
I don’t know. I’m just not buying that the story inside her cover could ever justify leaving behind six children without even so much as a letter for six years. No matter what it was(such as addiction, abuse, etc.). I’d be pretty pissed if I thought my mother had been dead for years and then found out she had just ran away and started over, like a teenager. AND was proud of it. Of course, this is only one side over the story. Maybe she did try to contact the kids but dad wouldn’t let her(which is what she’ll claim, I’m sure. Also not sure I blame him, if that’s the case.) but even so, I just can’t see any true mother giving up so easily on her children. Perhaps I’m unfairly basing all mothers on my mother, who would’ve rather died than be separated from any of us. I think the article is right when they call her callous “Sandra”.
Also, as far as the whole “judging a book by it’s cover” thing goes, I kinda believe that with people sometimes all there is is the cover.
I understand how you feel. I am, however, one of those mothers that was what I suggested…..
I’m sure no one would be interested in knowing the details, but I was ‘sent’ away by mother and father-in-law across State lines because I was very ill. Of course at the time I believed I was being sent on a vacation. Two weeks later I received divorce papers. That’s the short of the beginning.
Though I tried, and so did my own family, to contact via writing, telephone etc., none of us were permitted and letters and cards sent were not given to my children (three of them). Gifts sent were given without the note identifying the sender.
Eventually with the assistance of my own parents I hired lawyers from Maryland who worked with those in Ohio so that some access, we hoped, might be given. We were all surprised to find that without out knowledge, all three children had been legally (actually a gray area there) adopted by my ‘best friend’ who, unknown to all of us had gotten pregnant by my husband while we were still married (she was our babysitter), and this was one reason I was sent away so that divorce proceedings could begin and they could be married. (I should point out that at the time I was as I said earlier, extremely ill and was not expected to recover). The attorneys my own had enlisted to assist were willing to help until they discovered that it was their own firm who had done the adoption utilizing misinformation given by their father and his parents. We were quickly hustled away with warnings and threats and further contact was harshly denied again via threats.
I cried every night for 15 years. Finally, after 30 years, my children tried to find me and my oldest did via the internet. ALL three children thought I had just walked away to leave them in utter Hell.
It seems my story is breathy, but I assure you there is MUCH of it I care not to write here. I can also assure you that I loved my children with every breath of my life and I still do.
I would hope that no one would jump to conclusions about my own situation and judge me by my ‘cover’
I’m so sorry all that happened to you. That’s awful! Your story brought tears to my eyes, and I can’t believe your lawyers just abandoned you because they made a mistake. God, What jerks!! Instead of trying to make what they did better, they just ignored that it happened? And what about his parents?! They HELPED their son do this terrible thing? They helped him steal your children from you?! It saddens me that there are people in the world like that and that they get away with this kind of thing! Even if they didn’t think you were going to recover NOBODY has the right to take children from their loving mother. Not to mention the tumoil they put those poor kids through by making them believe such lies. Are things better now, did your kids understand once they heard your side? I’m sorry!
But, I’m still not convinced this woman was in the same situation. Especially with the way the daughter describes what she was doing toward the end. I don’t believe she’s as good a mother as you and I think this might be a simple case of a crummy mummy.
Thank both of you. This is not a story I have really shared. It’s also not one that can be gotten ‘over’ either and I would not wish it upon even a bitter enemy. I only knew what happened to me all those years. I didn’t know what happened to my children and neither did anyone else in my own family. My children’s stories are horrific and cruel as well and bring other questions to mind.
Sometimes pursuit of such things, while my children were young, would have, without a doubt, caused further torment to them and possible injury from which I would not have been able to protect them. I did not have the funds, options (or transportation) to continue legal sessions across State lines and the very last thing I wanted to do was position myself to also becoming the mother who was lost in the prison system.
I enjoy my children now even though they are grown and like grown children, they live far from me. However they keep in touch and I get lots of pictures.
The largest lesson to be learned and maybe I can share this, is that there are times when there is nothing you can do. To protect the ones you love you have to appear to be the ‘bad-guy’ and bite your tongue. But all the while never believe that anyone can commit a ‘wrong’ and get away with it though, because they have to live with what they have done, what decisions they have made against another.
Woah huli that was harsh….
So sorry what happened to you…
but we are so sorry what happened to you
But i guess you dont want to reveal more so we hope you get better and feel good..
I know it feels bad but its life….Theres more chances for you i guess know you have a better life.
I hope that guy gets what he deserves and judging by the way i think its a fate worse than death..*
I have questions but you probably dont like to talk about it.I cant believe his parents actually helped him…
What a useless piece of *edited out*
Huli you have my sympathy. Something similar happend to a friend of mine. Her husband walked off with her youngest (of 3) sons. He turned the boy against her so much that the boy found her at age 17 and asked for her parentat rights be termanated. It happens to a lot of people
