and then the fight started
Posted: 22 August 2008 10:20 AM   [ Ignore ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5511
Joined  2007-03-14

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive….

so, I took her to a gas station….. and then the fight started….


After retiring, I went to the Social Security officeto apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for

my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’

And then the fight started…..

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked,‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking righ tafter we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…..

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the
other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’

And then the fight started…..

 Signature 

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Seen on a tshirt - “If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic”

When life hands you lemons make apple juice. Then laugh while life tries to figure out how you did it.

My blog
My Website

Profile
 
 
Posted: 22 August 2008 10:59 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2368
Joined  2007-02-06

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the
other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn

 Signature 

Profile
 
 
Posted: 22 August 2008 08:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2501
Joined  2008-03-23

LOL LOL  LOL  funny…

 Signature 

Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

Profile
 
 
Posted: 12 October 2008 05:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
Jr. Member
Avatar
RankRank
Total Posts:  50
Joined  2008-08-18

That is funny     tongue laugh

 Signature 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 22 October 2008 04:52 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
Member
Avatar
RankRankRank
Total Posts:  121
Joined  2008-10-22

LOL  LOL  LOL Too funny!

 Signature 

“The closer you get to darkness, the darker your shadow becomes.”

In my opinion, the greatest pleasure in life is doing what someone else said you couldn’t do.

Profile