Internet ramblings
Posted: 16 August 2008 06:36 AM   [ Ignore ]
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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ She hit me.
 
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, ‘Wow…that was fun!’
 
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’
 
Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
 
Wouldn’t you know it…Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
 


And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 16 August 2008 11:55 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Can i add some as my SIG…. please?
please?

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 16 August 2008 08:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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silver caliber magnum - 16 August 2008 03:55 PM

Can i add some as my SIG…. please?
please?

They are not copy written, as I have read all but one before. =)

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Posted: 17 August 2008 08:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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What DJ said.

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 17 August 2008 02:07 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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I’ve heard only a few of those ones before, but then I tend to neither poke around in the odd corners of the Internet where those jokes usually lurk nor to have contacts online who would e-mail me things like lists of jokes.  Chances are that if it’s never been posted on here, then I’ve not seen it.

silver caliber magnum - 16 August 2008 03:55 PM

Can i add some as my SIG…. please?
please?

Ignore what the subsequent two people said, Silver.  You can only use any of that information if you send a US$20 cheque written out to the Feed the Dragons Foundation.  That’s right.  Feel free to contact Smerk about details.

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 21 August 2008 03:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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http://coolsig.com/
This is a good sig collection and it’s catagorized!
Via Refdesk.com

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“My chief task has been to conquer fear” - Houdini

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Posted: 22 August 2008 04:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Accipiter - 17 August 2008 06:07 PM

Ignore what the subsequent two people said, Silver.  You can only use any of that information if you send a US$20 cheque written out to the Feed the Dragons Foundation.  That’s right.  Feel free to contact Smerk about details.

Umm NO!
Im personally the anti dragon type *until they learn to stop killing my sheep!!*
But dragons do have good things bout them….
They can give me good XP when i slay them

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 12 October 2008 05:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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i love these kind of jokes.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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