that people who have no idea of the work involved in raising kids get the good ones? My sister is BRAGGING about how her baby slept through the night since birth. She was saying how it isnt hard at all to take care of a baby. And her baby will be a perfect angel his whole life because she will teach him to behave. She is basically saying she is a better mom than me. At least that is how it sounds to me. Its like she thinks she knows it all and she will have the “perfect” child that behaves better than my kids. Ugh, it is so annoying. Why is it that she gets the baby that proves everything I have said wrong??? Now she thinks that being a mom is the easiest thing in the world. ITS NOT!!!! It is the hardest job in the world. GRRRRRRR. Sorry, I just needed to vent. This isnt even half of the frustration I am feeling right now.
Red, lot’s of parents get a ‘calm’ baby who also has siblings of an entirely different nature. ALL babies and children are different one from the other by degrees or HUGE degrees just as they will be when they become adults. There are absolutely no real instructions that can tackle are the variables adequately and that’s what makes raising a child VERY difficult.
I’d have to say that your sister is extremely fortunate to have her baby sleep through the night….let us hope that this lasts for her. Often it’s a first child that is calm, or that sleeps through the night. I do hate to be the bearer of difficult news for your sister because sleeping and behavior habits change. Also, it may be difficult as well for her to face the fact that all children are individuals with the right of choice and choices change wildly when that child moves into peer groups.
IF she believes she has control on her child’s behavior across the board, she’s in for some very rude awakenings down the line.
YOU just do what you are doing, following your instincts for your little individual’s unique needs and expiration’s and you will be (as I know you are) a keen and wonderful mother….From what currently do know, you already are and are not following a path of pure fantasy believing your child a god!
There will always be fools who believe they know it all or have a knack that the rest of the world does not. Be ready to assist your sister though when the rug gets pulled from under her; I suspect she’ll need help more than you!
Oh, I doubt a second will be in the picture for a while, i ever. She had a hard enough time convincing her husband to have one. And she had a c-section so she has to wait a while. I know she and my mom look down on me for having 3 under 6 years old. She keeps saying that I will be pregnant again within a year (so what if I do, she isnt raising them, though I dont want anymore). I know things are going to turned upside down not too long from now. Her baby isnt going to be content in a playpen while she works for much longer. I know, I have been there, My first was in a playpen alot due to our living situation (hubby’s grandma’s basement) and he wanted to be held a LOT. He was bored. When we moved, and he was allowed on the floor, he was sooooo happy. My sister wont have that luxury though. She cant let her baby crawl around the floor of the doctors office. And if she does, she is an idiot.
Well, my son is very smart. Head of his class. Granted he is/was in kindergarten, but still. Was ahead of the other kids, and he just barely made the deadline to get into school, so he is younger than the rest of the class. My kids really arent that bad either. Just, well, kids. What child listens perfectly?
I dont know. She just has delusional ideals about motherhood, and I can see them all crashing down on her once her baby starts developing his own personality. Her world will definitely come crashing down when she realizes the whole take your baby to work wont be viable once the baby wants more than a playpen to stare at. They wont be able to afford daycare nor will she be able to afford to lose her job. That will be her problem though, not mine.
Yeah…I know what you mean…I have friends like that. Although, my favorite is when people who DO NOT HAVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN tell me all the things I am doing wrong. My sister is the worst offender. I love my sister…and I know my sister loves my kids, but she will every so often (usually when I am at my the very end of my quickly fraying rope) say something like, “She needs more discipline. Let your Yes be Yes and your No be NO!”
red, don’t be too discouraged, though. Jocelynn was just a super calm baby. Crying only when she needed something. No pacifier, quick to try a bottle & baby foods, very polite when she started speaking…and then almost overnight, at about three and a half, she turned into someone else’s child. Rebellious, bad attitude, screaming for no apparent reason, constantly bickering with everything I say…It’s like I’m raising a teenager 10 years too early. Anicah has been very different from Jocelynn. Not a fussy baby, but much needier! Doesn’t want to take a bottle, has just started being okay with taking food…and she eats the amount of food a baby half her age eats (which isn’t much, a few teaspoons full), but wants to eat the TYPES of food a baby TWICE her age would eat. It’s like she doesn’t get why I keep giving her mashed things.
As far as the playpen thing…That’s a toss up. I babysat a kid that preferred to be in it that with people. My kids…Jocelynn would lay in one to sleep, but that’s about it. Anicah will sleep in it…and will play for a short period, especially if Jocelynn is on the other side to entertain her. But if she’s gotta be in there with no one paying attention to her…she starts screaming her bald little head off.
It’s because intelligent children are more trouble than, er, ‘less gifted’ ones.
J. Khatena, “Some suggestions for parents and educators on handling the creative child” - Gifted Child Quarterly, vol. 22 (l978): -
[P]arents of youngsters who are creative and gifted frequently view them as more trouble than other children.
Huh…So all my school teachers were wrong - I’m not creative or gifted.
Honestly, it does seem to vary from child to child. My sister and I had very different temperaments - she was the demanding, needy child who always wanted someone to entertain her, while I was happy to sit back and wait and find ways to occupy myself. Yet we’re both pretty much of the same sort of levels of intelligence and creativeness. My sister has had two kids now, and they’re the same - the one is always wanting someone else to entertain her, while the other is happy to potter about and do whatever he wants. It’s a tad too early to make any definite calls on intelligence and creativity yet, though.
