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Very funny mid term paper
Posted: 13 May 2008 06:06 AM   [ Ignore ]
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I received this the other day and thought it was amusing;

Subject: Very funny mid term paper
Date: Sat, 10 May 2008 08:40:54 -0700


  HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
  The following is an actual question given on a
Louisiana State University chemistry mid-term. 
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that
the professor shared it with colle agues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well : 
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? 
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and
heats when it is compressed) or some va riant. 
One student, however, wrote the following: 
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are l eaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. 
Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that
in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to ex pand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose. 
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. 
So which is it? 
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct…...leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’ 
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Oscar Wilde

http://www.destinedtofall.co.uk

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Posted: 13 May 2008 11:31 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Hey! One of my big brothers graduated from LSU in Chemical Engineering.
grin
I got my BA and MLIS there too!
rolleyes
Snopes take on this
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

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“My chief task has been to conquer fear” - Houdini

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Posted: 13 May 2008 12:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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wow… cool cheese  so its umm cold? Before i die i will need a lot of hot water bottles…

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Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 13 May 2008 03:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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silver caliber magnum - 13 May 2008 04:43 PM

wow… cool cheese  so its umm cold? Before i die i will need a lot of hot water bottles…

With my hot flashes, I’ll warm it up real quick.
red face
I wonder if I can harness my hot flashes into energy?

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Posted: 14 May 2008 01:50 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Magnoire La Chouette - 13 May 2008 07:43 PM
silver caliber magnum - 13 May 2008 04:43 PM

wow… cool cheese  so its umm cold? Before i die i will need a lot of hot water bottles…

With my hot flashes, I’ll warm it up real quick.
red face
I wonder if I can harness my hot flashes into energy?

What??

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 14 May 2008 11:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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silver caliber magnum - 14 May 2008 05:50 AM
Magnoire La Chouette - 13 May 2008 07:43 PM
silver caliber magnum - 13 May 2008 04:43 PM

wow… cool cheese  so its umm cold? Before i die i will need a lot of hot water bottles…

With my hot flashes, I’ll warm it up real quick.
red face
I wonder if I can harness my hot flashes into energy?

What??

I’m kind of old….

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“My chief task has been to conquer fear” - Houdini

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Posted: 27 May 2008 02:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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i enjoyed reading it. I bet that this guy have a very creative mind and that he did not just say what is obviously infront of him but think of something that will give power to his statement.

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“I liked the kid who wrote me that he had to do a term paper on a modern poet and he was doing me because, though they say you have to read poems twice, he found he could handle mine in one try.” - Howard Nemerov

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Posted: 28 May 2008 10:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Suuurree… too many big words…

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 15 July 2008 11:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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hahaha., its very interesting!! i enjoyed it!!

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Posted: 15 July 2008 11:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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thats maybe the 5th times I’ve seen this. First time in a forum.
I’ll have to raid the e-mails we have gotten at work. There is one that was many Students giving smart arsed answeres to questions. Some are really commical.

Since I can only access certain sites, I’ll have to dig through the deleted files to find them, ten e-mail them to myself to post on here.

One teachers comment to a childs smart ass remark. “Very funny Billy” and gives him a passing grade.  I’ll look for it on saturay.

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Posted: 19 July 2008 07:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Here is 5




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Posted: 23 July 2008 11:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Though its bit long but I enjoy reading it.

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