Cowboy Poetry—Buying a Bra
Posted: 05 April 2008 09:56 AM   [ Ignore ]
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I ain’t much for shopping,
  Or for goin’ into town
  Except at cattle-shipping time,
  I ain’t too easily found.
  But the day came when I had to go - I left the kids with Ma.
  But ‘fore I left, she asked me,
  “Would you pick me up a bra?”
  So without thinkin’ I said, “Sure,”
  How tough could that job be?
  An’ I bent down and kissed her
  An’ said, “I’ll be back by three.”
  Well, I done the things I needed, But I started to regret Ever
  offering to buy that thing - I worked me up a sweat

  I walked into the ladies shop
  My hat pulled over my eyes,
  I didn’t want to take a chance
  On bein’ recognized.
  I walked up to the sales clerk -
  I didn’t hem or haw -
  I told that lady right straight out, “I’m here to buy a bra.”
  From behind I heard some snickers, So I turned around to see
  Every woman in that store Was a’gawkin’ right at me!
  “What kind would you be looking for?”
  Well, I just scratched my head.
  I’d only seen one kind before,
  “Thought bras was bras,” I said.

  She gave me a disgusted look,
  “Well sir, that’s where you’re wrong.
  Follow me,” I heard her say,
  Like a dog, I tagged along.
  She took me down this alley
  Where bras was on display.
  I thought my jaw would hit the floor When I saw that lingerie.
  They had all these different styles That I’d never seen before I
  thought I’d go plumb crazy ‘fore I left that women’s store.
  They had bras you wear for eighteen hours And bras that cross
  your heart.
  There was bras that lift and separate, And that was just the
  start.

  They had bras that made you feel
  Like you ain’t wearing one at all, And bras that you can train in
  When you start off when you’re small.
  Well, I finally made my mind up - Picked a black and lacy one - I
  told the lady, “Bag it up,”
  And figured I was done.
  But then she asked me for the size I didn’t hesitate I knew that
  measurement by heart, “A six-and-seven-eighths.”
  “Six and seven eighths you say?
  That really isn’t right.”
  “Oh, yes ma’am! I’m real positive - I measured them last night!”

  I thought that she’d go into shock, Musta took her by surprise
  When I told her that my wife’s bust Was the same as my hat size.
  “That’s what I used to measure with, I figured it was fair, But
  if I’m wrong, I’m sorry ma’am.”
  This drew another stare.
  By now a crowd had gathered
  And they all was crackin’ up
  When the lady asked to see my hat, To measure for the cup.
  When she finally had it figured,
  I gave the gal her pay.
  Then I turned to leave the store,
  Tipped my hat and said, “Good day.”

  My wife had heard the story
  ‘fore I ever made it home.
  She’d talked to fifteen women
  Who called her on the phone.
  She was still a-laughin’
  But by then I didn’t care.
  Now she don’t ask and I don’t shop For women’s underwear.

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 05 April 2008 11:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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LOL LOL LOL

Excellent poem/song.

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Attention to detail: An apostrophe is the difference between a company that knows its shit and a company that knows it’s shit.

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Posted: 20 April 2009 09:43 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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real funny cowboy gaffe joke. grin

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Posted: 02 May 2009 02:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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112inky - 02 May 2009 03:29 AM

funny cowboy have yu come here

Sense make much not, hard try though much in time!

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Today is the day you worried about yesterday, and all is well…Except that the well is dry, the toilet is overflowing and a flock of meese just pooped in your back yard…

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