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Jedi Church Opens in North Wales
Posted: 22 January 2008 08:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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The tech and spiritual stuff should be little to no problem.  I’d have to loose some (quite a bit) of weight to figure in the physical part.

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Posted: 22 January 2008 08:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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Charybdis - 22 January 2008 03:05 PM

Lightsaber creation is sort of a weeding out process in the Jedi academy.  Anyone who screws up usually blows up really good. grin

At least Jedi don’t have to use their mental powers to create the power crystal as well - I really couldn’t be arsed with that…

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The platypus is mother nature’s way of saying, “I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still ****ing cripple you.”

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Posted: 22 January 2008 09:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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But we have developed on the film

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“Whenever somebody says something is impossible, he is usually interupted by someone doing it”

Notice it says ‘he’?

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Posted: 23 January 2008 07:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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Who’d want to be a Jedi anyway? Jedis don’t know Sith!

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Posted: 23 January 2008 07:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 16 ]
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I am an ex associate - 23 January 2008 01:32 AM

The tech and spiritual stuff should be little to no problem.  I’d have to loose some (quite a bit) of weight to figure in the physical part.

Nah, the more weight you have, the better a Jedi you are.  Especially if you drive a fast car.  Force is mass times acceleration, after all!

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 23 January 2008 05:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 17 ]
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David B. - 23 January 2008 12:20 PM

Who’d want to be a Jedi anyway? Jedis don’t know Sith!

You don’t need to know Sith.  Sith happens.

I know.  I have the tee-shirt.

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Posted: 24 January 2008 11:46 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 18 ]
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Actually, North Wales is quite a good place to have a Jedi Church. Since they almost talk like Yoda there already.

Jones: Morning Evans. Look all dressed up to go a long way walking, yew do!
Evans: Morning Jones. Off up to church, I am!
Jones: On a Thursday? Strange day for church, that is!
Evans: Well, it’s that nyew Jedi church, isn’t it. Giving it a try, I am.
Jones: Jedi church? Whut on Eerth is a Jedi church?
Evans: Like that Star Wars film, isn’t it! Get all sorts of mental abilitees, yew do!
Jones: Star Wars? The one with the laser swords?
Evans: That’s the one. Call ‘em ‘lightsabers’, they do!
Jones: Coo, but one of them would be yewsful, wouldn’t it!
Evans: Thinking the same, wasn’t I?
Jones: Well, better be coming along too, hadn’t I?
...
One short walk later.
...
Jedi Priest: Welcome, you are. The church of Jedi, this is!
Jones: Well, that’s heartening, isn’t it? It’s always nicer when yew understand the language!

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Posted: 24 January 2008 01:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 19 ]
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Ruddy hell, boyo.

Amazing. They took a funny joke and tried to make it serious, thus removing the attraction of it in the first place and winding up with just two sheep-shagging Welshmen who can’t let a joke be.

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Posted: 24 January 2008 01:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 20 ]
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Do you think they’ll have a Jedi male voice choir to go with the church?

Mind you, they’ll have to rewrite some of the songs.

“Landspeeder of My Fathers”
“Men of Sarlacc”
“We’ll Keep a Wookie in the Hillside”

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Posted: 25 January 2008 06:22 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 21 ]
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*clears throat*

“Men of Sarlacc are digesting,
In his mighty belly resting.
We are sure that they’ll be fest’ring
For a thousand years!

“First he starts upon your toes,
Works his way up to your nose,
Then, but why nobody knows,
He spits out your ears!

He ate Bo-ba Fett!
And he’s not finished yet!
Bounty-hunters, or herds of Banthas, does just his appetite whet!

For tentacles that thrash around
Over all the sandy ground,
Looking for what can be found
Is Sarlacc justly feared!”

*bows*

(C)2008, David B. Released under Creative Commons License (BY-NC-SA).

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Posted: 25 January 2008 01:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 22 ]
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(Bugger, missed a line out! Fixed.)

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