How about this? It sounds more like the sort of thing you should be aiming for…
Person except me knows of this horrible conspiracy! !!! You will not believe me but that it because you are wick with the devilish overlords of arachnid! !!1! The look, I have the proof* -
When Nasa rubbed abruptly planned it launches Atlantis of spatial shuttle, putting back any Sunday to launch to January to the most first, the official line criticized a defect reproducing in the fuel detectors as the reason for the cancellation.
Nevertheless, the footage of this day - own cameras of Nasa - reveals the true reason launches it was delayed. This is because the shuttle was attacked by a spider foreign gigantic beast:
No spokesperson of Nasa commented on nevertheless on the attempt of the arachnid intergalactique massive to eat Atlantis - but the experts looking at the footage suggests that this be a clear informer that the Earth is about to to be dived in a total spatial war with a race of 150FT a long time devilish spiders that live on the rocket fuel.
See? Now you all knowledge that I have reason and you are all bad one!