I thought I’d step up to the plate

Accipiter - 24 November 2007 07:17 AM

Things are going to get a little dull now, though, what with us lacking a raving nutter at the moment.  Maybe we should put out an ad in the papers for one?

Everyone should be aware of the danger of grass
no, not the weed that can be smoked, that green
stuff that has managed to insinuate itself onto at
least 90% of peoples property (no corobarating website given)
it’s always there, always watching, waiting for the
right moment to pounce.
It’s true, the world trade centre would still be standing today
if they hadn’t had grass growing on their lawns. (web site with weak link to argument given)
Then theres the story of Mr Arnold K. Jones, literally swallowed when cutting his
lawn as if it was quick sand. it was suppressed
from the news agencies and most newspapers, because we all know who runs the media don’t we?
(picture of a well known newspaper’s headquarters with a lawn)
This is the stuff they really don’t want you to know about, an international
conspiracy for grass to take over the world (link to gardening magazine site)

Even now I fear that the grass overlords will take control of this website in
order to stop me from spreading what I know to the general public
Remember though, Adolf hitler was a blade of grass
so were Stalin, Torquemada, Genghis Khan, Atilla the Hun and Tom Cruise.

Check these sites for more details
(non corobarative site)
(vaguely connected site)
(site that waffles on about a totally different conspiracy theory)
(link to another forum where this is repeated word for word by same person and now offered here as evidence)

And I am ready for when they do finally make their move, I have both a strimmer and
a lawn mower.

Nothing that a few goats on the lawn won’t take care of.  DIE GRASS OVERLORDS!!!!!!!!!  May you be thoroughly masticated, digested and excreted.

You’ve sold me on this conspiracy, Sharruma.  I hereby follow you blindly.

How exactly does crabgrass fit into this?

And what about clover?  I frequently have it creep into the grass in my lawn.  (Oops.  Did I just admit I am part of the conspiracy because I have a lawn?)

And what about dandelions and other weeds that creep into lawns?  Are these all part of the conspiracy?  Or are these rebel fighters valiantly fighting against the grass overlords?  Are we all unwittingly doing the grass’ bidding by spreading weed ‘n’ feed fertilizer over our lawns, killing all these nefarious weeds?

Tah - 24 November 2007 03:56 PM

How exactly does crabgrass fit into this?

And what about clover?  I frequently have it creep into the grass in my lawn.  (Oops.  Did I just admit I am part of the conspiracy because I have a lawn?)

Yes Tah, you have a lawn that means you are a *enter naughty derogatory word here*
It doesn’t mean that you are a part of the conspiracy though, it merely mean you are too *derogatory comment* to know better. I could be wrong, if you came out and out in support of the grass by, for example, claiming you didn’t beleive me or suggesting that I was some kind of nut, then I’d know you were working for the enemy and might even actually be a grass yourself.

And what about dandelions and other weeds that creep into lawns?  Are these all part of the conspiracy?  Or are these rebel fighters valiantly fighting against the grass overlords?  Are we all unwittingly doing the grass’ bidding by spreading weed ‘n’ feed fertilizer over our lawns, killing all these nefarious weeds?

Crabgrass is a kind of grass - hence the name, it is part of the conspiracy.continued tirade that ignores the rest of Tah’s questions

Thanks to all those who are with me against this grass menace, I include all those that haven’t logged on into the site since I posted my first comments, because obviously they haven’t said anything against me and so must be in agreement. Together we can cut the grasses chance of taking over the world and destroying mankind by the first of Smerkuary 2008, down to nothing.

Smerkuary??

It’s a secret month, Smerk.  Only the conspirators know of it.

But my best friend is a “Landscape Specialist”!  You mean he’s in on this terrible, terrible conspiracy?

No.  I’ll never believe it.

Tah - 25 November 2007 06:12 AM

But my best friend is a “Landscape Specialist”!  You mean he’s in on this terrible, terrible conspiracy?

No.  I’ll never believe it.

He may even be a part of it at the grassroots level

Be warned that the US constitution has already been altered by these malevolent beings
the second amendment used to read, The right to bare your arms while mowing the lawn
some how the second part of this sentance has simply vanished.

Sharruma - 25 November 2007 06:22 AM

Tah - 25 November 2007 06:12 AM

But my best friend is a “Landscape Specialist”!  You mean he’s in on this terrible, terrible conspiracy?

No.  I’ll never believe it.

He may even be a part of it at the grassroots level

Be warned that the US constitution has already been altered by these malevolent beings
the second amendment used to read, The right to bare your arms while mowing the lawn
some how the second part of this sentance has simply vanished.

Right along with any semblance of common sense.  Bring on the grass!!!!  Sounds like a better conspiracy than anything I could come up with.

It’s a good thing your user name isn’t “green”.

No doubt.  I suspect I would find myself mowed, trimmed, clipped, mulched, composted, bagged and tossed by the wayside to be collected and fed to another generation of our bovine masters.