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A Virgin Dies
Posted: 17 November 2005 04:50 AM   [ Ignore ]
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In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make the proper “final” arrangements.

As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
“BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN”
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.
A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker—postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid’s final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonized over the dilemma.
But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin’s tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:

“RETURNED UNOPENED”

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———
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134

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Posted: 17 November 2005 07:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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::snickers::

I like it!!  (For a minute…I thought this was going to be a necrophilia joke…tehe)

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I’m loving the puppies.

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Posted: 17 November 2005 07:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I’m glad I’m not the only one Maeg!

Oh, what dirty minds we have!

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The Middleman: (drinking milk) You know, that was some darn fine cow squirt.

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Posted: 17 November 2005 07:54 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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LOL
I was about to reply, but Nettie got in there first, saying exactly what I was going to say.
Oh, deary me.

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2-15-15 9-19 1 19-16-15-18-11 7-15-4-4-5-19-19 15-6 13-9-7-8-20
Turnip Boris Yeltsin frog juggling doormat termite lizard

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years! Indeed it has. And then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became medicine. And the rest of it’s just a nice bowl of soup and some pot pourri.” - Dara O’Briain

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Posted: 17 November 2005 07:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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When exactly did this woman die? I wander what she would have thought of “The Forty Year Old Virgin?

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A very wise woman once said, marriage is like a deck of cards.
You need a heart to love him,
A diamond to marry him,
A club to smash his fucking head in,
And a spade to bury the bastard.

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